Category: Shag Bag (page 1 of 7)

The Worst Golf Movies, Not In Any Particular Order

January 21, 2021 / / 0 Comments

The Judge is waiting for a better golf movie.

As a rule I don’t watch Inaugurations even though I’ve lived in the DC area for a while.  Usually I’m working, and in 2001 (Inauguration fell on a Saturday that year) I was on a flight to the west coast when George W. Bush was sworn in (I was trying to avoid bad weather).  It’s nothing political, it’s just not my bag.  I’ll probably watch some of the Inaugural address when I have the time to pay attention.

So on this Inauguration Day, since the departing and newly-sworn in POTUS both play (one a lot more than the other), I thought I’d do a deep dive of the worst golf movies.  Everyone has their top-5 or top-10.  This is a top-7 list.  Some of them you’ll recall instantly, and others you’ll have forgotten (or tried to forget) they existed.

Before I jump into the list, I thought it would be helpful if I provided my methodology in how I reviewed these films.

  • Story.  Does the plot make sense?  Does the script follow a progression?
  • Acting.  How good are the actors?
  • Golf.  Do the golf scenes look realistic?  Do the actors/actresses who are playing golf appear to know what they’re doing (if they’re playing characters who are pros/elite amateurs)?  Much like hockey films, this is an area that gets overlooked (I’m looking at you, Mighty Ducks trilogy).  The better option is to do what the producers did for the hockey film “Miracle” which is find guys who can play hockey and teach them acting (the hockey scenes are VERY good).
  • Directing.  How are the golf scenes shot?  Are there obvious continuity errors?  Do the scenes ‘look’ genuine?
  • Re-watch factor.  The best golf films can be re-watched.  Would you want to re-watch?

Again, this list is not in any particular order.  I took notes, watched films, and that’s it.  These films are all uniquely bad for reasons I’ll get into.

  1. Caddyshack II (released 1988).  This falls into how I feel about the sequels to Slap Shot (hockey people feel about Slap Shot what golfers feel about Caddyshack; notably the sequel(s) were terrible ideas).  They’re terrible, poorly conceived, horribly written and to borrow a phrase, the audience is the worse for having watched it.  Much of the original cast is gone and replaced with people who should know better.  Robert Stack as the Judge Smails and Jackie Mason as the Al Czervik is all you need to know.  Beyond terrible and not even in a “so bad it’s good” way.  Insipid.  Awful.  The best thing I can say about these films is that Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray and Ted Knight had the decency to run away from this flaming turd of a film.  The people who made this film should apologize to anyone who’s had to sit through it.
  2. Happy Gilmore (released 1996).  I know there are people who like this film as it’s an Adam Sandler film and he has his fans.  This ain’t it, chief.  Sandler has “one” character he plays with very few exceptions (the odd drama film).  He’s playing Adam Sandler Comedic Goof.  The golf plotline is terrible and completely divorced from reality.  The continuity errors are in the dozens (obviously shot at multiple locations at different times of the year and changing for no reason).  Christopher McDonald’s ‘Shooter McGavin’ character is the only thing decent.  Again- touring pros AND a then-nascent Golf Channel bought onto this.  A poster child for failing to get the details right.
  3. Greatest Game Ever Played (released 2005).  A good book does not always make for a good movie.  The problems start with Shia Lebeouf, who is awful as the film’s lead Francis Ouimet.  His golf swing is god-awful.  It’s worse than Matt Damon’s in ‘Bagger Vance’ which is saying something.  At no point do you think he’s playing that role.  He’s just Shia Lebeouf looking like a 30-handicap chopper in period dress.  I wanted to like this film (seriously- the book is good).  It’s awful.  Shia should apologize to Stephen Dillane who is actually good.  The film makes several factual errors that go against what actually happened.
  4. The Tiger Woods Story (released 1998).  The Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie enema of golf films.  Undoubtedly some smooth-brained troglodyte wearing white shoes and a nose ring thought to greenlight this dumpster fire after his Masters win.  The lead (whose name bears not repeating) didn’t really look like Woods, and the golf scenes are awful.  It’s consistently awful.   No thought was put into this film.  It jumps around without ever actually making a point.  I had forgotten it existed until I started researching this.  I feel gross.  The script (assuming there was one) has all the emotion of a manila envelope.
  5. Who’s Your Caddy (released 2007).  If you don’t understand golf, don’t do golf films.  Not authentic.  More of a comedic vehicle.  It’s as if they thought “we have this dumpster fire of a script with comedic actors, let’s spin the wheel and find out some details….and hey let’s have them be caddies!” or something.   At some point someone is going to make a great film about caddies (Tin Cup does the role ‘some’ justice).  This…is not that film.  It’s not to say that every golf scene has to involve professionals, but if the actors are playing pros/elite amateurs they should look the part.  A good example of not good players in a great scene?  The golf scene in ‘Sideways’.  Two guys who aren’t any good but who make bad swings and look the part.  Anyone who’s played a lot of public golf can relate to Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church being in front of them and the reactions from everyone.
  6. A Gentleman’s Game (released 2002).  A 90-minute slog about adolescence and being honest.  Less a golf movie and more of an After-School Special (kids, ask your parents) with Gary Sinise.  Instead of “Timmy discovers marijuana!?!” it’s “Timmy sees the mean old man cheating and being a racist.”  Which is bad.  So don’t cheat.  Don’t be racist.  Be honest.  Don’t cheat.  Eat your vegetables and bathe daily.  Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
  7. The Squeeze (released 2015).  Directed by former ABC golf producer Terry Jastrow who is well connected in Hollywood and golf circles.  Anne Archer was part of the production.  Christopher McDonald and Jeremy Sumpter are in it.  And yet,  it’s not any good.  A good third of the film has zero relevancy to the plot (none of it remaining part of answering the basic “What’s the Story?” question).  The plot gets in its own way.  The golf scenes in the main match are well done, but the rest of the film jumps around.  When I heard about it I really thought it would be better.  It’s not.  Luckily it’s confined to Golf Channel.

So that’s it.  Seven golf films not worth your time.  Hopefully ‘someone’ can write a script for a golf movie that gets the golf parts correct and can couple that with a good story.  Movies, at their best, tell great stories.  Let’s hope so.

How I Fell In Love With Rugby League (and why you should as well)

May 31, 2020 / / 0 Comments

Mal Meninga. Gigantic, fast and a legend.

I love playing golf, and I love watching hockey (well, the Toronto Maple Leafs).  While this would be enough sports for most people, there’s one other sport that does it for me and that’s rugby league.  So how do I, your golf blogger and high functioning alcoholic, come to love a sport whose popularity is primarily centered around two areas (Australia and the north of England)?  Perhaps you follow me on Twitter and wonder why I’m clicking ‘favorite/like’ on some odd sport and occasionally retweeting highlights?

Blind luck and an eventual bad relationship.

Flash back to June of 1994 and I’ve been seeing someone for a year or so on a long-distance basis and we (as young people often do with bad results) agreed to move in together (we would part ways after a few years).  Specifically, she decided to pack up and move into my studio apartment in San Francisco.  She found out that I don’t have cable TV (I’ve never had cable TV at this point of my life), and she was rather insistent that we have it (without sounding old, this was when MTV showed actual music videos- The Real World was a cultural touchstone but otherwise it was mostly music videos).  Being the thoughtful person that I am, I called our local cable TV provider and schedule an installation on Friday since she was moving in on the next day (Saturday).

This will work out pretty well (I thought at the time), since this Friday in question was the start of the soccer World Cup and she mentioned liking soccer (her older sister had played for her high school and college teams) and was excited at seeing games since the US was the host country.

I took the day off from work, got a haircut early and was back in my apartment during the late morning appointment window.  They showed up on time, were done within 30 minutes, and I now had the wonder that was cable television.  Being someone who likes sports, I meandered towards the sports channels.  ESPN was showing the US Open (it would be Arnold Palmer’s last round at a US Open) with cutaways for soccer and the New York Rangers’ Stanley Cup parade.

Then I happened upon one of those lesser known sports channels and they were showing some weird sport I’d never seen before. It “looked” like rugby (I knew of it but hadn’t really watched much), but the playing field was laid out more like an NFL field with yardage lines and numbers.  There was a team wearing lime green shirts that said “MILK” in the front (and in the back)…okay, I thought, is that like a sponsor (I knew a lot of soccer teams had big sponsor logos in the front) or something?

The other thing was that after a player was tackled he’d get up, set the ball down and “play” it backwards to someone else while the team on defense would retreat what looked like 10 yards (found out later it was 10 meters).  The rugby I knew would have a bunch of people fighting over the ball.  This wasn’t like that.  Also you’d see a graphic pop up of “5th” tackle.  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  Didn’t know what this was.   Is this like 4th down in the NFL? Figured it out pretty quickly.

One last thing.  This team in lime green had an absolute mountain of a man on their team who could seemingly run through anyone or anything.  He wasn’t just big, he was fast.  And powerful.  His name?  Mal Meninga. He looked to be about 7’8″ tall and 350 pounds (nothing close but he looked it on TV).  He ran over people if not through them.  Later I’d learn he was a legend in the game and he’d be retiring after the season.  It was everything I loved about collision sports, without all the stoppages in play.  Simple rules and not overly complicated and played at a breathtaking pace I’d only seen in hockey.

I was hooked, but what was it?  This was before the internet had become as common as oxygen…so I had to look it up on the channel listings.  Something called “rugby league (listed as Australian Rugby League)…whatever that meant”.  It was a condensed highlights program from the games of a week prior (as I found out later).  The team in lime green were the Canberra Raiders.  They were playing a team called Eastern Suburbs or “Easts” in the score graphic. Wait, what?  I knew soccer teams had weird names, but here was an Australian sport with American style nicknames (there were teams named the Steelers, Bulldogs, Tigers to name a few).

The day this happened was June 17, 1994.  Unfortunately, June 17, 1994 took on a host of other meanings and history will show that it was the night that OJ Simpson went on his infamous Ford Bronco chase, causing the world (it seemed) to stop and watch.  And while everyone remembers the chase, I remember watching it unfold on CNN and also being excited because I had discovered this really cool sport.

The following Sunday, I drove down to the news-stand near my apartment, since they sold international newspapers (again- this was pre-Internet).  I found a copy of the Sydney Morning Herald, and immediately pulled out the sports section.  I’d find out that the Raiders had lost their most recent game to the Panthers. The Panthers! Damn you Panthers! We’ll get you next time.  I was hooked. Paid six dollars for the newspaper (I wasn’t always a genius).

It pushed me into rugby and eventually gave me the idea to play (I played several years for club teams in the Bay Area and DC; I wasn’t any good but it was fun playing a team sport again with some truly great lads).  I’m better for the experience and for learning something new.

If you like the NFL but can’t stand games taking 3 1/2 hours to play and only seeing about 14-15 minutes of action in a game, consider watching. No padding except for neoprene headgear that a few players wear, and it’s pretty much non-stop action.  13 players a side, 4 substitutes (not rolling subs- teams have a limit of how many changes they can make in a game).  Try (touchdown) worth 4 points, conversions or penalty goals worth 2 points, drop goal (i.e. field goal) worth 1 point. That’s it. A video review system that, while not perfect, is better than anything in use in North America.  A national announcer as polarizing as Joe Buck, Mike Emerick or Jim Hughson….why, yes!

Celebrities?  Russell Crowe owns one of the teams.  A Tina Turner song has turned into an anthem of sorts.  Take a listen:

This is 30 years old (made in 1990).

The national broadcaster recreated it for this year.  Stick to what works.

I still watch rugby league and still support the Canberra Raiders (followed last year’s Grand Final loss on twitter on a red-eye flight back from vacation…probably for the best that I couldn’t scream during the late game controversy). The NRL season normally runs March-early October (this year it’s getting extended due to COVID-19…like a lot of sports that had to shut down in March).  I know that right now there are those that think sports are dumb and unnecessary.  Maybe.

My hometown of Toronto now has a team in the England Super League (they’re still shut down due to COVID-19); they’re in their 4th year of existence and I’m hoping their games will be televised when they return.

But I still love it. And I’ll still get up in the middle of the night to watch games and get strange looks from people when I wear my Raiders jersey.  And it started on a flash-point day in American history because I got cable installed.

Golf Course Closures Explained

April 30, 2020 / / 0 Comments

One of these things isn’t like the other one. See if you can guess.

I’m angry.  There.  I said it.  I’m angry at bullshit hucksters like Malcolm Gladwell who thinks golf should be “banned”, and Silicon Valley douchebros (I worked in Silicon Valley; there isn’t anything these morons can’t ruin with their “ideas”) who hate golf (because they’re not any good at it (unless they’re a member at one of the more exclusive private clubs in the Bay Area), and they want golf courses turfed so they can fuck the land up with their own stupidity and incompetence in the same way they’ve operated for the last 25 years).

Golf is a form of outdoor exercise and is a sport.  It can be played with social distancing and with next to zero risk to anyone playing (a number of course maintenance teams have come up with genius level ways to avoid making contact with things, including not raking bunkers).  Green fees mean revenue which means employees get paid and the money circulates within the state.  Pretty simple, really.

I’m angry that with all this (alleged) intelligence we’re staring food shortages in the face because with all of their brainpower and whatnot, and they can’t figure out how to safely process and deliver food (you have millions of pounds of potatoes left to rot and meat shortages because nobody thought to spend a few bucks on food safety or the people feeding the country).  The most basic and simple thing in the world and we’ve fucked that up in less than 2 months.  Bravo.

And I’m angry with our Governor (Larry Hogan), who seems too busy getting dolled up to go on TV and pump his own tires to see the bigger picture (the makeup and glasses show you care, I suppose).  Winning two races against poster children for “how not to run a gubernatorial campaign” shouldn’t count for much but here we are.  But this is a golf website.  Onward.

If you look at the map above, you’ll notice that 45 states currently allow golf in some form or another, and 5 that don’t.  Nevada, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, and of course Maryland because reasons.

This is not a “but muh golf” complaint.  It’s pointing out that Larry’s measures are like trying to stop a train with a fishing net.  I’ll stick with facts:

  1. I “could” be wrong, but near as I can tell, there isn’t a Simpsons Movie style dome over the state which means that travel to and from other states is permitted.  Let’s go on, shall we?
  2. If I’m on the Eastern Shore, I can play at Baywood Greens but none of the Ocean City courses.  We’re talking about 15-20 minutes distance (by car).  Is the environment at Links @ Lighthouse Sound that bad by comparison?  If it is, then by all means keep it closed!
  3. Bulle Rock is closed, but all of the courses in Philly are (mostly) open.
  4. Greystone in northern Baltimore County…nope.  Keep going another 20-25 minutes up I-83 and courses are open in PA.  Does Pennsylvania have magic non-COVID air that they’re hoarding?  Damn air-hoarders.
  5. Lodestone in far western MD is closed but again, I can truck into WV, OH or PA and tee it up.  Who’s right and who’s wrong here?
  6. I could hop in my car, cross a bridge and be in Virginia where courses are open.  Some mighty good tracks in the commonwealth.
  7. Same for North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Ohio, New York, New Jersey.
  8. I could fly out to California or Arizona where courses are, for the most part, open.  Flights are bookable as are hotels.
  9. The entire midwest and it’s vast array of really good courses.  Willing to wager places in MN, TX, IA, etc. would gladly take my money.  Assuming that I don’t decide to live there for the rest of my life, how exactly is this keeping people safe?

My point is that there’s no consistency on how things are being applied (and the devil is ALWAYS in the details).  Either golf is an outdoor activity that can take place or it’s unsafe and should be shut down.  Both arguments have validity but you can’t have both.  Just pick a lane.  That’s all I ask.

 

COVID-19 updates (what courses are and aren’t open)

March 18, 2020 / / 0 Comments

My new weekend morning scripting.

Just as we were getting into the start of the season, things have taken a horrible turn with the pandemic from the Coronavirus (i.e. COVID-19).  PLEASE follow the new guidelines set in place and anything from the CDC.

So real quick, here’s what is (and isn’t) open in terms of local courses as of 3/17/2020.  Not trying to persuade or dissuade anyone from playing, but I’d suggest verifying specifics.

Waverly Woods: currently open.

Fairway Hills: closed

Hobbits Glen: closed

Timbers at Troy: currently open.

Baltimore County (Greystone, Rocky Point, Fox Hollow, etc.): open (Greystone grill may be closed)

Baltimore City (Forest Park, Mount Pleasant, Carroll Park, etc.): open for now.

Montgomery County Golf (Northwest, Little Bennett, Rattlewood, Hampshire Greens, Poolesville, Laytonsville, Sligo Creek, Hampshire Greens): Open for now (no on-course water, credit cards only, no rakes, flags stay in).

Links at Challendon: currently open

Compass Pointe: currently open.

Renditions: currently open

University of MD golf course: closed as of 3/18

Oak Creek: currently open

Lake Presidential: currently open

Blue Mash: currently open.

Worthington Manor: currently open.

Musket Ridge: currently open.

Maryland National: currently open.

Whiskey Creek: currently open.

PB Dye: currently open (aerated greens 3/2-3/4)

Hopefully you’re able to get out there and tee it up.  Stay healthy and be safe.

Hope to see you out there.  I’m not normally Mr. Grumpy Pants.

Sports Movies You Should See, Ranked

February 24, 2020 / / 0 Comments

First off, to say I’m thrilled that the area will be hosting the PGA Tour’s BMW Championship in August 2021 at Caves Valley is an understatement.  Not having a regular tour stop in the area has been awful, so I’m very pleased that for at least one year we will see the best of the PGA Tour.  You know what would be even better?  A regular LPGA tour stop in the area, or even a Champions Tour slot.  As you were.

So I had this movie-themed piece in my head slated to go because I thought the Oscars would be in late February, but for some reason they were earlier.  Rather than put some half-ass effort into it, I decided to wait, and put something out that would be up to the kind of quality you’ve come to expect.

Mention sports movies and immediately people think of the tried and true.  I suppose that they’re okay, but as with most things, I find that by digging deeper you find better.  You find complexity, storytelling, and everything we love about movies.  No particular order here.  Just nine sports movies you may have not seen that you should consider watching:

  1. Fever Pitch (1997).  Take the 2005 baseball-themed remake starring Jimmy Fallon and light it on fire.  The original “should” be on any soccer fan’s ‘must watch’ especially if you’re newish.  Taken from Nick Hornby’s excellent book (with some significant departures), it details Colin Firth’s character as a schoolteacher by day/obsessed fan of Arsenal in during the 1988-89 season, which includes mentions about the Hillsborough disaster.  Great soundtrack.  Other films have done pieces about obsessed fans but they’re much darker.  This one is almost comedic.  Good enough to make you forget that they tried to make another version that was baseball centric.
  2. North Dallas Forty (1979).  Taken from Peter Gent’s excellent novel (but with one super-major part of the book deleted).  Nick Nolte plays a broken-down wide receiver on the mythical North Dallas Bulls.  First sports film to highlight rampant drug use (recreational and prescription), alcohol abuse, etc.  Not kid friendly.  The game scenes are at best not good, but it was the first film to show you how the sausage was made.  So many films owe a debt of gratitude to North Dallas Forty.
  3. The Damned United (2009).  Michael Sheen plays football manager Brian Clough; the film jumps around but centres around his 40+ day stint replacing Don Revie as Leeds United manager.   Sheen is nothing short of amazing as Clough as is Colm Meaney as Don Revie.  A great look at life in the 1970’s.  Game scenes are pretty good despite a couple minor errors.  Sheen looks, sounds and walks like Clough.  As good as Kurt Russell did playing Herb Brooks in Miracle, Sheen’s role of Clough is better.
  4. Dead Solid Perfect (1989).   Someone at Golf Channel/Comcast should acquire the rights to this.   It’s largely a mystery film at this point.  Taken from Dan Jenkins’ novel, it does a better job of storytelling than the other golf films.  Some of the production work isn’t great but it’s about 1000 miles better than a lot of golf movies.  Actually it’s the best.  Randy Quaid is outstanding, which isn’t something I would ever think I’d write.
  5. Goon (2012).  As someone who loves hockey, I admit that most hockey movies don’t do it for me.  Slap Shot’s hockey scenes are terrible and the sequels are beyond terrible.  I’d rather eat sand than watch the Mighty Ducks films (again-the hockey scenes are terrible).  Miracle was underwhelming despite having access to the actual game footage/audio.  Goon is…good.  Two scenes in particular; the bus scene after a loss hit a nerve, and the coffee shop scene (though a dead lift from the beyond outstanding ‘Heat’) was well done.  The on-ice scenes are good and the drinking/drug subculture was dealt with sufficiently well.
  6. The Final Winter (2007).  Was introduced to this film third-hand; rugby league film that deals with then-professional team Newtown Jets and how the lead character deals with his club (and the game) changing on him.  Anyone who’s felt that the changes in the game of their preferred sport will appreciate it.  Beautifully shot.  Any fan of a team that has been close to folding/moving will relate.
  7. Raging Bull (1980).  Sorry, Rocky.  This film (perfectly shot in black & white) is everything sports films aspire to.  DeNiro is outstanding.
  8. Personal Best (1982).  Deals with a track and field star (played by Muriel Hemmingway) dealing with a raft of issues as she tries to make the 1980 US Olympic team (that would end up boycotting the Moscow Olympics).  Again- not a family friendly film in any possible way (there is a ton of nudity and sexual content), but it tells stories that were previously not discussed.  Really shows the psyche of an elite athlete.  Bonus content for using Charley Jones during the Olympic Trials scenes.  The voice will be familiar to older viewers.
  9. Bang The Drum Slowly (1973).  Adapted from Mark Harris’ novel from the 1950’s.  Baseball scenes aren’t the best, but it’s terrific storytelling that is authentic and doesn’t feel contrived.

Honorable mention: The Natural (1984), The Rocket (2005), The Wrestler (2008), Any Given Sunday (1999).

The Second Annual SGIC Airing of the Grievances

December 23, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Screw cookies and milk. I prefer bourbon. And a dozen ProV1’s.

What a year 2019 has been in golf.  The top story depends on where you’re from.  If you’re in the US then Tiger winning the Masters probably tops it.  European audiences may think Shane Lowry winning The Open at Portrush is the bigger deal.  Asian audiences may look towards the LPGA Tour for their bigger story.  There’s much to celebrate.

Image

And yet, a year later and boy, do I have some problems with a lot of you people.  So sit down, pour yourself a drink, and get comfortable.  Don’t even think about taking me on in feats of strength.

Patrick Reed: The dunce cap in human form.  Blatantly cheats during a limited field tournament in the Bahamas and provides the kind of bullshit story that no partially sane person with eyes would believe.  Then goes to Australia for the Presidents Cup and doubles down.  His caddie ended up shoving/pushing a fan.  Once a cheater, always a cheater.  He did this crap in college and is replicating form.  There’s no more benefit of the doubt with this clown.  Have cameras on him during every hole of every round because there’s no way you can trust him.

Bryson Dechambeau: May you lose majors after rightly getting hit with stroke play penalties.  Speed the hell up.  2 1/2 minutes for an 8 foot putt?  You should be forced to eat that stupid Hogan flat cap after it’s been dunked in Donkey Sauce.  You and JB Holmes should be forced to play together and be permanently on the clock.

USGA: Hey, you managed to not screw up the course at Pebble Beach.  Hooray!  Granted, overcast skies and cool temps with light wind helped.  Maybe take a trip to the Open Championship to see what they do.  No trickery, and no obsession over protecting a score.  Set up the course to be tough but fair, and what happens, happens.   Gary Woodland was fantastic tee to green at Pebble Beach and earned the win.  Winged Foot is similar; the less you do, the better.  Don’t overthink it.

European Tour: With Ireland picked to host the 2026 Ryder Cup the next one should go to the Old Course.  They last hosted in 1969.  This is a no-brainer.  Everyone knows the course.  17 and 18 are as great as it gets for match play.  DO IT.

R&A: You did a good thing by taking the Open to Portrush.  A rota of the Old Course, Royal Liverpool, Royal Troon, Royal St. Georges, Portrush, Carnoustie, and Muirfield (Lytham and Royal County Down as ‘secondary’ options) should do just fine.  Prestwick, Sunningdale can be added for the women’s rota.

PGA Tour: Can we talk about marijuana?  Please?  It’s time to take marijuana off the banned substance list.  Guys are using CBD, and as a former pot smoker, it’s not a stimulant.  As I’ve said before, I smoked it to help relieve stress at night so I could sleep better.  It’s legal in several states and this is all going in one direction.  Join the 21st century.

PGA Tour Rules Officials: Can we stop with the ‘won’t someone think of the children’ as an excuse to not enforce the rules?  So we give player X the benefit of the doubt who then knocks Y and Z out of the top 125 and back to the Korn Ferry Tour?  Either enforce the rules as they’re written or find people who will.  Looking at you, Slugger.

CBS: Just put Frank Nobilo into the 18th hole chair next to Nantz.  Please.  I’d take Nobilo 8 days a week over Azinger.

FOX: Just admit you’re not very good at this and move on.  You’re the drunk guy at a bar who’s pissed his pants, can’t stand up and still thinks he’s good to drive home.

NBC/Golf Channel: Quit screwing around with your LPGA coverage.  Live coverage on weekends is the absolute minimum, and this gong-show you keep doing with their Tour Championship is asinine.  On weekends, CNBC should become Golf Channel Plus (I don’t think people will mind losing a seventh rerun of some episode of Shark Tank).  You’re welcome.

NBC/Golf Channel: What part of “show live golf” is beyond you?  The Presidents Cup coverage was worse than terrible.  Showing people standing around looking at yardage books during the “playing through” bit doesn’t cut it.

New Media: There are outfits who do a great job (none of these folks I have any kind of relationship).  Looking at you, No Laying Up, Shane Bacon, Stephanie Wei and several other well-run blogs and websites that produce some truly great stuff.  Quality content is quality content.  Don’t steal content or fail to provide attribution and then get whiny when you get called on it.  You know who you are.  Also- you aren’t the story (and if you don’t get this, then get out NOW).  So don’t make yourself the story.

Time Rosaforte: Happy retirement but you’re leaving a giant hole in coverage.  One of the true “good eggs” out there who was always worth tuning in for.  You’ll be missed.  Dammit.  Rosaforte and Nobilo leaving at the same time is…not good (I’ve been a fan of Nobilo for some time).

University of Maryland: Quit screwing with the golf course.  Leave it the hell alone.  It’s a true hidden gem and a great test of golf.  Plus it’s open green space.  You can’t just pave everything over.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Festivus, Happy Winter Celebration.  Enjoy some great holiday music.  Miss you always Kirsty.

 

Labor Day and Something’s Missing

September 3, 2019 / / 0 Comments

From the 2nd tee at Rattlewood. I make a long shadow at sunup. Can’t really explain that it looks like my arms are out. They’re not.

Hope you’re enjoying your Labor/Labour Day.  After running a bunch of errands I had something of a brain cramp because I was convinced that today was the final round of a Playoff event, but thanks to the Tour’s new schedule, your only option is the final round of the Korn Ferry Tour Championship (which I’d like to see get elevated to NBC for the final two rounds).  The Champions and LPGA Tours wrapped up on Sunday as did the European Tour.

9th hole at Rattlewood. All about getting your second shot close unless you’re a REAL bomber and can hit a draw that stops on an elevated green that slopes hard from right to left.

Not to beat a dead horse but there’s no reason for the PGA Tour to avoid Labo(u)r Day weekend, but we digress.  I’m not the first one to suggest this, but a West Coast Tour Championship (whispers softly…use Riviera on a mini-rota with Olympic Club, LACC and maybe Chambers Bay) in prime time over Labor Day weekend gets you eyeballs you’re otherwise not getting.

No golf next weekend as I’ve got commitments both days but I plan on playing the following two weeks before heading on vacation.  Plus, I’ll admit to being a bit gun-shy about potential impact from Hurricane Dorian (all the best to everyone in Florida, Georgia and the Carolinas).

I played Saturday at Rattlewood fearful of rust from not having played in two weeks; no issues.  Got off to a good start and had as good of day with my irons as I’ve had in some time, with 11 GIR.  Didn’t convert much (1 birdie and 35 putts), but a 78 is never bad.  Had a bit of a blow-up on 18 where I had to make a 15 foot putt to save bogey, but overall a good round.

12th hole at Rattlewood. Just over 225 from the blue tee; playing 230+. Hit a 3 wood to 18 feet, putt to tap-in distance for a very satisfying par on a hole that’s closer to a par 3 1/2.

Less than four weeks before I head to the desert on vacation for the first time in two years.  Looking forward to it.

SONG OF THE DAY

 

Northwest Park News and Notes

July 29, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Northwest Park 1st Hole. Which used to be the 10th hole. It’s not. Until they re-re-re-change things up.

Outing (Ow-teeng): A group of individuals having an activity.  Occasionally golf.

Shotgun (shawt-gun): A weapon often with a long neck. Often used for hunting.  A method of starting a golf tournament.

Scramble (skram-bull): A method of egg cooking.  Also a style of play in a golf tournament.

Played at Northwest Park yesterday for the first time since spring 2017.  Rather than a long soliloquy, let’s skip to the main points:

The good:

  • They changed up the nines so what used to be the 10th hole is now the first.  The short uphill par 4 is now the 9th hole; the new 18th is the old 9th with the elevated tee to a valley and a slightly uphill green.
  • Service is still good.  One of the bigger grill areas for muni courses and a great practice facility.
  • Bunkers were in great shape.
  • Roughs were mowed and manageable while maintaining a challenge.

The not so good:

  • Conditions weren’t great.  Not terrible by any means, but definitely off a notch since the last time I was there.  Some of the tee boxes were pretty beat up, and they have aerated many of the areas in front of the greens which will hopefully improve things towards late summer and into fall.
  • Have to think some of the conditioning issues were because of last week’s heat wave (they did have a sign up about warning people that they’d be watering).  Last year it never stopped raining; this year has been more than a bit drier.  Never mind that July has been hot as hell pretty much the entire month.
  • Greens weren’t bad but found several holes with un-repaired ball marks (this isn’t on the course, this is on people that are too lazy/stupid/guilty of being assholes who either don’t think or care about repairing ball marks).
  • Went out early and ran smack into an outing of septuagenarian foursomes playing at a pace of play that could be charitably called glacial.  In case you wondered what it would be like to play behind JB Holmes, Patrick Cantlay and their even-slower grandfathers.

It’s still a fantastic layout and the inside nine is a great option for novice players.  But rethink the outings to later in the day and not on a Saturday morning.  Go play it.  Seriously.

I’m Still Here!

July 15, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Sunrise at Rattlewood from the 3rd hole. It’s moments like this that make getting up at 4am worth it.

I know it’s been forever since my last blog, but work has kept me very busy (which I’ll happily take over the alternative) as I feel like I’m having to learn things I should have learned a long time ago but was too busy working to actually learn this foundation-level knowledge.  In a lot of ways, I stumbled into my profession because an opportunity came available and I took it.  It’s not like I have a degree in this field.

Anyway, April was a bit of a blur.  The dog we adopted back in February attacked and bit one of our friends (doing considerable damage) so we surrendered the dog to the group we adopted it from.  Last we heard the dog was working with a trainer on his behavioral issues.  Suffice to say, it was a bad time all around.  Greyhounds aren’t known for aggressive behavior so it came as a real shock.

Plus, I started having pain issues.  In the back of my mind, decades of playing collision sports were eventually going to catch up with me and they have.  After two months of tests, x-rays, therapy and appointments I found out I have arthritis in my left knee, which is where all of the force goes on my downswing.  So now it’s about managing it.  On the bright side, the years of heavy drinking, smoking, dalliances with controlled substances and other stupid decisions I’m none the worse for wear, but it was definitely a scared-straight moment.

May was equally hectic.  She Who Is Really in Charge and I celebrated 16 years together and there was all kinds of other goings-on…all of which meant no golf.  On June 1st we brought home a new greyhound (after much debate we kept his foster name of Linus).   Linus is the kind of lovable goofball that we were hoping for.  Super sweet, loves people, and is seemingly always happy.

Linus coming home with us. My shoulder is on the left side of the photo. He wanted to sit in the front seat the entire drive back (2 hours).

So it wasn’t until early June that I finally got back on the horse, as it were.  Some short recaps:

Played Sunday the 9th at Compass Pointe on the South/West routing.  The course is in significantly better shape than it was in early 2017.  The bermuda tees and fairways look great and the greens were in good shape as well.  I’ll be honest- I thought this course was on its last legs 2 years ago but it’s pulled a 180.

1st hole, South/West Course. In the fairway off the tee.

Played Fathers Day at Hampshire Greens.  Got paired up with some kid in his 20’s who didn’t say five words, spent the entire round on his phone, walked on my line on three occasions and didn’t understand how shadows work.  Course was in decent shape.  Pace of play was abysmal due to our 20-something and his Kevin Na-Patrick Cantlay swing routine.  Is there a nice way to say “HIT THE FUCKING THING”?  Reminder that playing on Fathers Day is, at best, a lottery for all the wrong reasons.

Played at UMD Golf Course on 7/6.  Please let this course be around in ten years.  Course was in pretty good shape with one or two minor exceptions.   Can’t say enough about the staff friendliness.  Had a great time; hope to return.

UMD golf course at sunrise. 1st hole. This will do quite nicely.

Played 7/13 at Rattlewood.  As always, I had a great time.  It’s a fun course that has enough challenge to keep you awake but isn’t an absolute brute.  It’ll (pardon the pun) bite you but at 6,500 yards from the tips you don’t have to crush it off the tee and for the most part, the fairways are pretty generous.

Looking forward (as always) to the Open Championship.  It remains (in my opinion) the best of the four.  They don’t overthink course setup, they don’t try to protect par, and you know going in that weather is going to be a factor.  Hopefully Portrush will provide a worthy test.

 

 

Back On Course, Local Golf News

April 7, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Ready to go. Let’s do this.

I’ve managed a practice session and 3 rounds in the last four weeks, which is huge improvement from 2018 which was bad on a host of levels.

Played at Waverly Woods on 3/24.  Course was, in parts, still looking in winter mode which is understandable given how cold it was in early/mid March.  Greens were in decent shape all things considered (they’ve since aerated fairways, I’m not sure about greens).  It remains the best public track in the county.  Pace of play was great; we were the first group out (as a threesome) but let a twosome play through and never saw them again (note- letting a faster group through is the right thing to do).  Glad I did it, and I’d do it again.

Played at Timbers at Troy on 3/30.  Timbers was, at one point, the best in the county but Waverly has passed them.  Still the case.  When I played it didn’t appear that fairways/tee boxes or greens had been aerated, and I haven’t seen any news from them about aeration.  The course was in better shape than the last time I was there.  Pace of play was a real issue.  My opinion may not be universal but a 4 1/2 hour round on an early Saturday morning when we waited on literally every shot isn’t acceptable.  At one point you had 4 groups on the 13th hole (the short downhill par 4).

Played at Rattlewood on 4/6.  Rattlewood is never going to be on anyone’s “best of” tracks, and it doesn’t need to be.  It’s a solid, playable public track.  Greens had been punched a week ago and were rolling pretty good.  The fairways were, for the most part, in good shape.  The roughs haven’t grown in, which is either a blessing or a curse depending on your perspective.  I’ve said this before, but from the tips it’s 6,500 yards and a very approachable 6,100 from the white tees.

So three rounds in, and all things considered, not a bad start.  The next few weeks are going to be a no-go period for me for a few reasons, but I’ll hopefully find a way to sneak one out.

POURING ONE OUT

A bit late on this, but Redgate Golf Course in Rockville is closed.  It’s unfortunate because it served a need and was a solid layout that, at one time, had outstanding greens save for 1 or 2 holes.  The article says they’d need around $2.5 million to do needed repair and refurbishment.  I played a ton of rounds there and always had a soft spot for it.

Cross Creek Golf Club is closed and not coming back.  I can remember when it opened back in 2003 and was, at the time, a big deal when you had a lot of upscale daily fee courses opening.  It was part of a housing development, and hosted an LPGA Symetra Tour event in 2003 and 2004.  Unfortunately, the place has been in a death spiral for some time and it’s gone.  The link is to the Cross Creek HOA.  I feel bad for the homeowners who are seeing their course not be maintained which doesn’t help anyone.

Both courses being gone knocks 36 holes of public golf out of the area, which isn’t good for anyone.  It also means that Montgomery County Golf now controls every public course in the county (in a perfect world they’d have taken it over and turned it around).  It’s not that Montgomery County Golf is bad (they’re not), but reducing inventory doesn’t help anyone.  I’d still argue that Cross Creek and Redgate (being properly maintained) help the area.  The more options that exist for young, aspiring and mid-high handicap players, the better.

Older posts

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

    Categories

    Meta

    © 2025 Single Golfer in Cart

    Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑