Arizona in the summer? Cool!

Biltmore Golf Resort, waiting to start my round

When you think of summertime golf destinations, maybe you think of Bandon Dunes, or some of the truly amazing destinations in Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota and similar.  Maybe you think of Coastal California, or parts of New England.  Cool breezes, great food, and amazing vistas. 

You probably don’t think of Arizona, but after spending a week in late August in the Grand Canyon State, maybe you should. First off, it’s going to be hot.  I could spew nonsense about it being a dry heat (which it is), but over 100 degrees is still over 100 degrees.  Even if you play early like I do, it’s still going to be hot.  So any visit means that sunscreen (can’t emphasize this enough), hydration and an acceptance of the conditions is a requirement.  A hat with good sun protection is vital.

Note: I was not compensated or asked to provide any comments.  My opinions are just that- mine.  I do not have any kind of business relationship with any of the courses, resorts or restaurants listed. I flew Southwest direct into PHX/Sky Harbor to minimize issues with my clubs (in multiple visits to PHX, my clubs have always been well taken care of).  I’ve had good luck with them of late so I’ll stick with them for the time being. 

After getting in, we stomped at local favorite Chompies for brunch (several locations in the Phoenix/Scottsdale area).  My pastrami sandwich was adequate, and the service was better than expected. Dinner was at local icon Pizzeria Bianco (there’s two locations; the one on 22nd is slightly bigger while the one on 7th is in midtown)  I was first exposed to the greatness of this place last December, and it has forever changed the way I look at pizza.  I had the margherita without a second thought.  What really makes it is that you can actually taste each ingredient.  The crust has a unique taste, as does the tomato sauce, the mozzarella cheese and of course the fresh basil.

Best pizza I’ve ever had. By far. I ate it all and regret nothing.

During our time in Phoenix we stayed at the Arizona Biltmore, as it had everything we needed (golf, pools, great vibe).  The hotel was fantastic.  They had recently renovated and will be celebrating their 100th anniversary in 2029.  One of the two courses on-site (the more famous Adobe) was under renovation, so I played the shorter Links course (it maxes out at 6300 yards from the tips which is right in my wheelhouse).  Generally flat (the back nine opens up and has some elevation change) and requiring accuracy over length, it was a great course to play after a day of travel.  The staff were exceptionally friendly and the starter was very nice without being overbearing.  The Arizona summer had done some damage to a few portions, but the course is upgrading to a new strain of Bermuda that won’t require overseeding, which is a win-win.  I can’t wait to see what things look like after all this is done.  Below are the 3rd, 12th and 15th holes at Biltmore Links course. The next night we dined at Collins Small Batch, which was perfectly adequate.  They have a varied menu of locally inspired dishes.  Compared to what we’d be eating the next two nights, it seemed a bit pedestrian but that’s probably unfair. The next round was at WeKoPa resort on the Cholla course (there’s also the Saguaro course).  Both courses are among the best you can play in the state.  Challenging beyond words but still fairly open, they’re fantastic.  They look deceptively easy but small mistakes get punished.  The staff couldn’t be nicer.  i paid $89 to play (in-season can be well into the upper $300’s/low $400’s) Conditions were nothing short of outstanding.  Tee boxes, fairways and greens were all superb.  I played from the composite tee (a combination of purple and white, something more and more courses are doing), which played at just over 6400 yards.  Below are pictures of the 18th (plays downhill), 3rd (watch the rocks in front of the green) and 7th holes. After getting my butt kicked, I deserved a great dinner and had it at Tratto, from the genius behind Pizzeria Bianco.  The Van Buren Street location isn’t exactly bougie, and the storefront looks like you’re going to a bail bondsman or buying a 2005 Jeep.  But you’d endure this to be inside.  It’s semi-family style so portions are meant to be split.  The pasta (a ravioli that was out of this world), a bavette steak that I’d crawl over broken glass to eat again and this fruit tarte dessert were transcendent.  The menu changes (as you’d expect), but if you’re in Phoenix it’s worth planning a trip around.  It’s that good.  There’s a good-sized bar (it’s a converted garage) should you need a tipple.

Tratto exterior and dessert.

The next night we dined at Dick’s Hideaway, a local favorite that clearly puts its resources into the food, rather than decorations and design.  It’s small, but you won’t care.  My carne asada enchiladas were exactly what I wanted (if a bit messy if you go off the shirt stains).  We sat next to a few other couples in proximity because of the layout and they were friendlier than they needed to be.  The ‘No Kardashians’ sign should be universal.

Rules are rules.

The second stop on our trip was to Sedona, which is about two hours from Phoenix.  I had heard things about Sedona, but had never been.  The first thing you notice is that the weather is cooler.  Not cold, but just a bit refreshing compared to the triple-digit heat of the last several days.  It’s beautiful.  Breathtakingly beautiful.  The mountains merit exploration.

Breathtaking views, and photos don’t do it justice.

Golf was at the adjacent Sedona Golf Resort, located south of Sedona.  Despite being at elevation it plays less than 6700 yards from the tips (I played from the white tees, which were just south of 6200 yards).  Still plenty of course.  The course is set against the mountains, but conditions weren’t the best.  If not for the view, I’m not sure this course would be as busy or be charging what it does (I paid $129, more expensive than my other rounds).  If I had one small complaint it’s that the carts didn’t have GPS.  In a touristy area like this, having GPS should be the default (both WeKoPa and the Biltmore had GPS on their carts).   It would have been nice mostly so that I could leave my rangefinder at home. Unlike my rounds in Phoenix/Scottsdale which played firm and fast, the fairways were soft and offered little if any roll.  The back nine is a par 34 with one par 5 and three par 3’s, the front side being a par 37 with three par 5’s.  Below are the 8th, 10th, 13th and 18th holes from Sedona.

The

Dinner our first night in Sedona was at the outstanding Elote Café just off the main drag in downtown Sedona.  My carne asada was outstanding along with the margarita.  The pinto beans were better than they needed to be; flavorful without being overpowering.  They require reservations so book ahead if you plan on going.  They also have a great tequila selection if that’s your thing. We also had dinner at Shorebird just off Highway 179.  Everything was good and correctly cooked, but after three dinners of otherworldly level, it’s impossible to compare.  It’s unfair to compare.  Shorebird isn’t bad; it’s quite nice and offers a wonderful view of the mountains at sunset with outdoor seating if that’s your thing. Our last day was for exploring some of the more scenic areas in the city along with the downtown area.  Parking can be a challenge on weekends but we managed to find a lot close to downtown and all of the touristy areas.  A good barometer is that Sedona is usually 10-15 degrees cooler than Phoenix.  In talking to locals, the fall is definitely their big season but I can see late spring and summer (when we were there) was equally amazing. I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Southwest for doing a great job of handling my clubs.  No issues, and nothing was missing or damaged.

Arizona during the summer may seem a bit odd, but with tee times being cheaper, it’s a great time to play in one of the best places to play in North America.  Just bring your sunscreen and stay hydrated.

The NHL-NRL Explainer You Didn’t Know You Needed

Recently, the NHL announced that they would be playing two pre-season games in Melbourne, Australia in September of 2023 at Rod Laver Arena (primarily used as the main venue for the Australian Open tennis championship), which is curious at best.  Thankfully, the arena does have a retractable roof should inclement weather come about.

For those in North America who are unaware, late September is when both winter sports in Australia (rugby league (NRL) and Australian Rules football (AFL)) are finishing their play-offs, with the AFL typically playing both semi-final games in Melbourne.  Melbourne is also home to one of the better NRL teams, who could be playing as well by late September.  This assuring the NHL that nobody in Australia will likely notice.   If that weren’t enough competition, it’s also the start of the rugby union World Cup in France.  Thankfully the FIFA Women’s World Cup will be completed by then.

Being a fan of rugby league, it occurred to me that the NRL and the NHL are in many ways similar.  Both run by wildly unpopular men who have a history of odd appearances and interesting thoughts on labor unions (among other things).  International and representative games do better than club games.  Both leagues have teams in two countries who have an odd relationship with one another.

At their best, both sports are built upon physical play, collisions a constant focus on trying to grow the game while another sport whose season runs parallel to theirs draws better ratings, and at times still gets referred to as being a largely regional (rather than national) sport.  At least the guy running the NRL hasn’t (yet) declared a lockout and canceled an entire season because of a labour dispute.  I mean, who’d do something that stupid?  Oh, hi Gary!

But if you’re a fan of the NRL, perhaps you’re wondering which NHL team you should support?  While you’d think the NHL would send two of its marquee teams to promote the game, fans in Australia will be getting the Los Angeles Kings (okay, fair enough), and…if I’m reading this correctly, the Arizona Coyotes.

Worry not, North American sports fans.  The NRL has announced that they will move two regular season (not pre-season) games to Las Vegas next year (2024).  This will feature South Sydney Rabbitohs (one of their owners and major investors is Russell Crowe), Manly Sea Eagles (Hugh Jackman is probably their best-known celebrity fan), Brisbane Broncos (the late Steve Irwin and Lachlan Murdoch (son of Rupert) are their best-known celebrity fans, although NewsCorp is the majority owner of the Broncos), and Melbourne Storm (best known for having to forfeit several championships in 2010 over pervasive violations of the league’s salary cap laws).

The Coyotes used to play in Winnipeg (in Canada if you weren’t sure where Winnipeg was) but moved to Phoenix for economic reasons, which might lead you to think that the Coyotes are a huge success in financial terms now that they’re in Arizona.  Not so much.  They started out playing in the same arena as the NBA’s Suns, then moved to Glendale (about 30-40 minutes from Phoenix), then left there after the arena terminated their lease.  They currently play in an arena in Tempe (just outside of Phoenix) that they share with a college hockey team that seats just over 5,000 (NHL arenas typically hold 17-20K) and are hoping to play in an arena that hasn’t been built yet (and may never get built).

NRL fans are used to a competing sport that draws better numbers and is more popular, so you should really enjoy the NHL, who get trounced in the ratings by the NBA.

You say you like a guy running your sport who’s universally hated, looks like a Batman villain and says some of the dumbest shit imaginable?  You’ll fit right in.

You say you like it when your sport has a salary cap with more loopholes that most people have brain cells?  You see where I’m going with this.

When you see memes that compare your sport’s toughness to that other more popular sport, does this make you all giddy inside?  We have a winner.

But what team should you support?  Unlike most North American leagues, the NHL has a heavy presence in Canada, where 7 of the 32 teams play.  Luckily, I’ve done the work for you to help you find a team to support.  You’re welcome.  Now be prepared to have your soul destroyed.  Enjoy.

Sydney Roosters supporters: You like tradition, and teams that wear the tricolor of red, white, and blue.  Your fans have no problem reminding everyone that they’ve been around longer than anyone else.  The term ‘FIGJAM’ is something you enjoy using.  You have a hated rival.  Several, really.  A 30-minute ceremony to honor your tradition before every home game is just your thing.  You like your owner despite him not being from your home city.  Your fans are…something.  Your NHL team: Montreal Canadiens.

Penrith Panthers: Defending champions (2021, 2022) but struggling a bit with injuries.  Still the best current team (seriously) when healthy.  You’re from the mountains.  Everyone kind of dug you as fun a couple years ago, and now you’re the obnoxious bully everyone wants to see take one on the chin.  Your NHL team: Colorado Avalanche.  Alternate Choice: Boston Bruins.

Melbourne Storm: You’ve been there or thereabouts several years in a row.  Your team is a bit arrogant and has players who aren’t that popular outside your own fanbase.  You kind of get lost in your own back yard as other sports based in your city are more popular, but you don’t care.  Flaunting rules is very much your thing and boy are you a fan of doing some grubby stuff.  You ‘might’ be in decline but your coach is one of the best in the game.  Your NHL team: Tampa Bay Lightning.

Cronulla Sharks: Your team won that one title several years ago that everyone seems to forget about.  While you’re in the Greater Sydney area, you’re not really “in” Sydney, are you?  You’re improving.  Nobody really wants to live in your backyard.  Your most well-known player was named Paul and has an interesting history.  Your NHL team: Anaheim Ducks.

Manly Sea Eagles: You’ve won some titles, and your part of the city is widely associated with the beach.  Your team has a couple great players who can get you in the play-offs but let’s not talk about that one thing.  Or that other thing.  Movie star fans?  Check.  You have a fair bit of history and acquired one of the greats under some weird circumstances.  Your NHL team: Los Angeles Kings.

South Sydney Rabbitohs: You play in the largest city in the continent and have legions of fans who show up at random places.  You even have your share of celebrity fans besides Russell Crowe.  While you play in the big city, you like to tell people you’re the heart of the sport and not that other team that you hate.  You won a title after a long drought and everyone went crazy celebrating that championship.  You just acquired a great player who everyone wondered how you’d fit them under the salary cap.  Prior to that, things were kind of dark.  You’re one of the better teams right now and you love to remind that team you hate that they’ve slipped a notch.  Your NHL team: New York Rangers.

Dolphins: Hey, look at you, having an amazing first season near the party capital of the country!  Exceeding expectations, wearing new colors, and you’ve got that famous coach.  Bold choice with the gold/beige in your uniforms.  Your NHL team: Vegas Golden Knights.

North Queensland Cowboys: You embrace the rural spirit of your home state/province and that Cowboy ethos.  You have a distinctive looking arena and can’t really stand how that other team gets more attention.  You’re the true heart of the game.  Your NHL team: Calgary Flames.  Alternate: Edmonton Oilers.

Gold Coast Titans: Nobody really knows why you exist.  Everyone points to population and other things that show that it makes sense, but your team isn’t that good despite being in that area that everyone said is a gold mine but is mostly a resort/leisure area.  They keep trying to make this thing work and swear at some point it’ll happen.  There were a couple players who came up in your area but they’re playing elsewhere.  There’s no sign they want to come back.  Your current arena is a joke.  Your NHL team: Arizona/Phoenix Coyotes.

Newcastle Knights: Your fans are from a manufacturing/mining base who represent the ‘real’ people of your country.  You win titles when you have generational talents/immortals playing for you, even though everyone kind of forgets that the one talent has had some…let’s call them challenges.  Your NHL team: Pittsburgh Penguins.

Wests Tigers: You had a weird merger with another team in the 90’s that everyone loved and still longs for in some circles even though that team kind of moved elsewhere.  You’ve had a couple decent seasons but are now very much in rebuilding mode except for the one player who you can’t really get rid of.  Your spiritual home is a shithole.  Your NHL team: San Jose Sharks.

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs: A team with rich history that was good in the 2000’s and early 2010’s but has since gone off the rails, but you’ve got that famous guy running things who used to play for the team, which has everyone pretty excited.  Everyone’s pretty excited seeing what he did at his previous club.  Everyone thinks you’re a year or two away from being really good if you catch a break.  Most people hate your fans.  Your NHL team: Detroit Red Wings.

Canberra Raiders: You have this odd fascination with being cold that you use to your advantage.  You’re in the nation’s capital and have had some success including a recent final appearance that went off the rails a bit.  You’re close to the largest city in the country and are often made to feel like a pariah by people in the bigger cities.  The team isn’t bad, but the arena is a pain the ass to get to and from and you’d like a new one.  Some players don’t want to play for your team.  Your NHL Team: Ottawa Senators.

Parramatta Eels: You have some history and have been good last year, but your neighbors are dominating.  You were really good last year but your neighbors kind of knocked you down a rung or two.  You recently made it to the championship which surprised a bunch of people but got absolutely steamrolled.  Your NHL team: Florida Panthers.

St. George/Illawarra Dragons: You had a decent run in the late 2000’s/early 2010’s, and now things have gone bad.  Your reputation (both ownership and players) is at best not very good.  Seriously, it’s bad.  You have a LOT of bad apples.  Everyone just kind of forgot all that while you were winning.  You just won a lottery, so there’s that.  You’re kind of a big deal, and certainly the broadcasters are happy when you’re doing well given your fan base.  Red is your power color.  Your NHL team: Chicago Blackhawks.

Brisbane Broncos: You play in the largest market in the game, owned by highly reviled media entities that broadcast the game in your country.  Somehow this is normal.  People either love you or they hate you with the fire of a 1000 suns.  Your building is a fortress for representative and national teams.  Everyone outside your fan base celebrates when you lose.  When you finished last?  Yeah, everyone really loved that.  Seriously, people really hate your team.  They REALLY resent that you’re always getting the best TV slots for games even when the team isn’t good, even though it’s entirely ratings driven.  When you lost a gut-wrenching finals game after being ahead late, everyone loved seeing you lose.  Your fans tend to show up no matter what.  Your city is pretty fun to be around; it’s considered (to the ire of everyone else) to be the centre of the sport’s universe despite that other city to the south being larger.  You were a hub in 2020.  Your NHL team: Toronto Maple Leafs.

Adelaide Rams/Western Reds: Losing your team sucks, especially when you’re nowhere near the next closest team in the league.  Your fans get more credit than they deserve.  Your NHL team: Quebec Nordiques.  Or Hartford Whalers.

 

Making The Tour Championship Great. Again.

Once NBC decided to stop punching themselves in the genitals and get out of their way, the last 90 minutes of the final round of the Tour Championship was compelling viewing this past Sunday.  It didn’t make up for the sheer insanity of most of their coverage, but it helped a bit.  I remain skeptical that giving viewers a firehose of commercials does any good, but here we are.

On the one hand, good for the Tour to get rid of this nonsensical point scheme and provide viewers with one winner on Sunday that didn’t require a Rube Goldberg-level diagram.  On the other hand, this flighted start where the top seed starts with a 10 shot lead is laughable by any standard.  And by laughable, it’s an insult to the idea that the best performance on the day wins.  What next?  A low net and a low gross winner?  Does last place get a set of neoprene iron covers?

While I ‘thought’ I fixed the Tour Championship once already, I guess I didn’t.  So I’m going to fix it again.  And Jay, please use this format next year.  While you’re at it, it’s time to ditch East Lake at least for a few years.  Atlanta in late August?  Really?  Move it around.  Put it out for bid (hint- if you go to the West Coast, your odds of thunderstorms shrink, and you get that prime time East Coast finish you otherwise would never get).

Instead of the top 30, we’re going to increase it to the top 32 (top 31 and the highest finisher at the BMW Championship who otherwise didn’t qualify).  Think of it as an incentive to push yourself during that final round of the BMW Championship.  Rather than give the top seeds a shot advantage, we’re going to borrow from other sports and give the top seeds a second chance (I’m borrowing heavily from the McIntyre Finals system) AND they get to choose their tee time and playing partners for the first four rounds.  If they want to go out first on greens that are freshly cut and free of spike marks, they can.  So here we go.

Days 1 & 2: Regular 1st/2nd round play (18 holes each day).  The top 24 (no ties) make it to the next round.  However, none of the top 4 seeds will miss the cut, regardless of how bad they do.  They get a second chance if they have a bad round or just don’t have it early on.  I’d argue that this is a much more relevant reward for season-long excellence.

Day 3: Regular 3rd round play (18 holes).  The top 16 (no ties) make it to the next round.  However, the top 2 seeds are guaranteed to make the cut, so the remaining guys are playing for 14 spots.  Now you’re really rewarding season-long excellence.

Day 4: Regular 4th round play (18 holes).  The top 12 (no ties) make it to the next (final) round.  The top seed is guaranteed to make the final round.  There’s your reward for being the top seed-being guaranteed to make the final round.  No head start, but you’re guaranteed a 1 in 12 shot of winning the Championship.

Day 5: Championship Final round (18 holes).  Everyone resets to level par.  Low round wins.  No resting on your laurels or playing conservative.  Go for broke time.  Tee times are drawn by lottery.  With six twosomes, there’s no good/bad half of the draw.  No having guys in the field with no practical chance of winning.  12 guys, one round.  With only six tee times, you’re not having to broadcast 8 hours of play.  Low score wins.  You don’t need an abacus to explain anything.  It’s simple, and by resetting everyone, you’re all but guaranteed final round drama (nobody starting with a huge lead and hoping that they fall apart).  Your reward is getting to the Championship Final Round, and hopefully being the best player on the day.

Much like a Super Bowl (full credit to the guys at No Laying Up who compared it to a Super Bowl on their recent podcast), or title game.  You work all season to get to the Championship Final Round, and you either get it done or not.  This would get the casual sports fan to tune in; they understand a Championship Final.

Unlike the last time I fixed the Tour Championship, this time you have the forces of Evil with the Saudi Government getting into the golf business as a mechanism to pretend they’re not monsters.  To avoid keeping guys in the fold, as a condition of being in the Tour Championship, players agree not to join LIV for five years.  Don’t want to sign?  Then you’re ineligible to play in the Tour Championship, and the next ranked player gets in.  Bail out, and you pay all prize money back.  Pensions for defectors also declared null and void less the player’s actual contributions.

I have no desire to watch LIV, even if it were on TV (which as of this writing it’s not).  And I never will.

First prize?  $40 million.

To quote Alec Baldwin in ‘Glengarry, Glen Ross’, do I have your attention?

Also, they need to put the Tour Championship out for bid to other venues.  Nothing against East Lake (or Atlanta) but move it around.  Keep East Lake/Atlanta as part of a ‘rota’ if you want, but throw in a couple West Coast venues into the mix.

Oh, and let the players wear shorts if they want to.  Seriously.

 

Fixing The Olympic Golf Format (You’re Welcome)

Your 2024 Olympic Golf Captain? Maybe!

With the Tokyo Olympics now mid-way through the first week, I thought now would be a good time to figure out how to fix the golf format.  I have the added bonus of getting to wear an air cast for the next few weeks so it’s not like I’m playing anytime soon.  As horrible as the IOC is (I’ve long put them in a sports ‘Axis of Evil’ alongside the NCAA and FIFA, two other entities that serve up their unique brands of corruption, grift and a real hatred of the athletes under their umbrellas), the Olympics continue to provide a shop window that few other sporting events can provide.  It’s the only reason to put up with the IOC.

While a 72-hole stroke play event does provide the players (and core fans) with a familiar feel, the truth is that it does seem like ‘just another event’ minus prize money.  So let’s make some changes, shall we?  I’ve had two bourbons, which is my sweet spot for Good Idea Thinking.  Under my format, the players will play five rounds (at the most) instead of four, but with an additional competition.  I’ll explain.

This will mean that there will be a total of eight days of competition, which is the same exact amount you currently have so the course would not be used any more/less than it would.  I would leave the number of players at 120 (60 men, 60 women).  So far, nothing changes.  The host club (Riviera in 2028 is a fantastic choice), if private, isn’t being unduly put upon any more than they already were.

In the interest of being fair, I flipped a coin and the women will start their event first (it’s largely interchangeable) rather than the men.  The first three days are the women’s team event (30 two-player teams) which will be 54 holes with a cut after two rounds.  Then men’s team event is the same format (30 two-player teams, 54 holes).  Countries would send players in even numbers based on world rankings.  So the men’s and women’s events get cut from 72 to 54 holes to add a 36-hole mixed team event.

Competition Day 1: Women’s Team Event (alternate shot format)

Day 2: Women’s Team Event (foursomes/two-player best ball format).

After the second round, the field is cut to the top 12-18 teams (and ties).  I’m flexible on how deep the cut should be.  Maybe anyone within 8-10 shots of the lead gets through.

Day 3: Women’s Team event final round.  Two-player best-ball format, scores reset so everyone starts the final round at level par.

Medals are awarded in the Women’s Team event.

Then two rest/practice days.

The next event will be a mixed-team event (one male, one female).  With 120 players you’d need a two-tee start (apologies in advance to Justine Reed as her husband and his playing partner will undoubtedly get a “late, then early” start time) but with summer you can easily get players around in plenty of time (Brisbane in 2032 could be tight since it won’t be during their summer but it’s still doable; they get around 11 hours of sunlight in August).  The women would tee off from a forward tee 12-14% shorter than what the men will play, in line with USGA research.

Day 4: Mixed Team event (alternate shot)

Day 5: Mixed Team event (foursomes/two-player best ball)

Medals are awarded in the Mixed team event.

Two rest/practice days.

Competition Day 6: Men’s Team Event (alternate shot format)

Day 7: Men’s Team Event (foursomes/two-player best ball format).

After the second round, the field is cut to the top 12-18 teams (and ties).  As noted earlier, I’m flexible on how deep the cut should be.  Maybe anyone within 8-10 shots of the lead gets through.

Day 8: Men’s Team event final round.  Two-player best-ball format, scores reset so everyone starts the final round at level par.

Medals are awarded in the Men’s Team event.

Nations would require at least four athletes to be eligible (two men, two women) in the top 300 in the world.  This is similar to minimal qualification standards that the IOC already has in place for other events (call it the “Eddie the Eagle” rule).  In lieu of professional status, advancing to the quarter-final stage or better in one of several elite amateur events would also suffice (US Amateur, British Amateur, Asia-Pacific Amateur, etc.).

Restarting the final rounds at 0 for the men’s and women’s events means nobody can play it safe and that any team making that cut has a chance.

This means that there are more medals to compete with, and cutting the men’s and women’s event to 54 holes cuts down on wear and tear and would allow players to arrive late/leave early if they wanted to do that.

Some other rules that I’m adding:

-Men may wear shorts during tournament rounds (the shorts must be the same color as the pants as part of the team’s uniforms, which means if Great Britain is wearing blue pants, players can wear blue shorts) if they choose.

-Max score of double par on any hole during the qualifying rounds (Days 1-2 and 6-7).

-Rangefinders/GPS devices are legal so long as they do not have the slope option engaged.

-American men (looking at you, DJ and others) who qualify and refuse to go over are ineligible for Ryder Cup/Presidents Cup “unless” they have already played in an Olympic event.  My long-held belief is that the Olympics should be a “once in a lifetime” thing for athletes.  Play once, and the option of opting out of future Olympics if the player chooses.  The European Tour can do similar if they choose.

-No caddies (players can use push/pull carts or carry their bags as they prefer) during tournament rounds, however each nation would have a designated non-playing captain (and ONE assistant captain) that the team can consult with prior to and after rounds, along with one three-minute ‘time out’ after the 9th hole.  Three minutes between nines isn’t going to hold things up.

-The IOC will work with the R&A and the USGA for a tournament ball which must be used by all competitors in all rounds.  This would eliminate any confusion about teams having to figure out what ball to use.  The non-playing captain would (for countries with multiple entries) decide who will partner up with whom.  The ball should be made available to players at least 90 days before the start of the Olympics to any players who are possibly eligible so they can get used to it.

-Ties for medal places will be decided in a sudden-death playoff.

-Winning an Olympic event (if professional) provides a 4-year exemption on said player’s tour.  If you want to elevate the event you have to treat it like one.  It also includes entry into the next three years of all major championships.

-The IOC pays for charter flights to take the players from the last tour stop prior to the games to the host city (if they can do it for NHL players they can do it for the best golfers in the world).

So eight days of competition, and six days of practice/off days for a total of 14 days.  This would mean that the players would have the opportunity to march in the opening and closing ceremonies if they chose to since for many, this is a huge component of attending.  Or, they can opt to come in later/leave earlier.  Flexibility.

A team event would level the playing field to a degree and offer something different and unique (and we’ve all been wanting to see a mixed-team event).  The idea came to me from watching the mixed curling at the 2018 Winter Olympics (the men and the women had their own separate events in addition to the team competition).  The schedule builds rest and practice in which (assuming we’re not dealing with a pandemic in Paris) allows the players to have that Olympic experience in every possible way.  Similar, but unique and for most, a true once-in-a-lifetime event which is what the Olympics should be.

 

Public Golf Done Exceptionally Well

Everyone in our group on the green. Someone’s closer! 6th hole, Los Lagos Course at Costa Mesa CC.

There’s an old plot line in movies where the answer to the great mystery was right under their noses the whole time.  Whether it’s the murder weapon that was in plain sight or the murderer was someone everyone knew, it’s an old trope.  It’s what I’ve been thinking about over the last week.

A month ago, I was at home, enjoying Memorial Day weekend (remembering it was cool and rainy for much of it) and not really thinking about much.  I had played a couple rounds this year and hadn’t done that well.  Then, a week later things got turned upside down and not in a good way, and I found myself driving out west to Southern California for family reasons (given the complete shit-show that air travel has become, I declined that option, not to mention paying hundreds of dollars a day for a car rental).

Mostly out of habit, I took my clubs with me, thinking (correctly) that I’d have free time to play.  Since playing at sunrise is kind of my thing, it worked out, which left me plenty of time for the horror show that the last week-plus has been.

Southern California was where the golf bug first bit me, influenced heavily by my Aunt who was an avid player (not a big hitter off the tee but I remain envious of her short game).  While she was a member at a couple private clubs in Texas and Oklahoma, our rounds were played on public (muni) tracks in Southern California (specifically, Orange County).  Nondescript places that seemed beneath her, but that she seemed to enjoy playing nonetheless.  Still remember her clowning a couple guys we got paired with who weren’t thrilled at getting paired with a female player (she easily beat them by 25 strokes).  She died the day of the final round of the 1987 Masters (watching it, of course).  Literally on death’s door, watching to see if Greg Norman could finally get over (he didn’t).

Turns out that you can go home again, even if you didn’t really want to.

My golf adventure last month started at the fancily-named (but very much not fancy) Costa Mesa Country Club, a 36-hole facility with a few holes that border a mental hospital, a few holes that border a high school, and a few holes that bordered a jogging/biking path.  I played the longer of the two courses (Los Lagos) for both rounds, which runs just over 6500 yards from the tips and a very manageable 6200 yards from the middle tees (I played it twice; once from each set).  The course is quite flat with only a few holes having any kind of elevation change.  Walking rates are $36 Monday-Thursday, $39 Friday, and $52 Saturday-Sunday.  The shorter Mesa Linda course maxes out at just over 5,400 yards and is quite flat.  It’s only $29 to walk Monday-Thursday, $34 Friday and $43 Saturday-Sunday.  The Mesa Linda would be a GREAT place for a shorter hitter to play.  It’s just fun.

First tee at Los Lagos course. Not much of a marine layer on the day.

Fairways are generally pretty generous, rough is minimal.  Greens were in good shape; certainly not tour speed but they were rolling consistently with very few burned-out areas.  Okay, there were a few bare spots in fairways and some of the paths weren’t pristine (a mix of dirt and rock), but at these rates the course clearly has their priorities in shape.  It’s fun.  The people you’ll play with are the salt-of-the-earth types who make the game great.  Waiting in line to check in for my 5:34 a.m. time, I got to chatting with a few guys who are regulars.  The course is quite popular for people who will play the back nine early.  If that’s you, get there early.  There will be a line.

Pre-sunrise at Costa Mesa CC. Already a dozen or so other cars in the parking lot behind me.

No expense spared on this handy map. But who cares? It’s a great place to play.

Los Lagos starts with back-to-back par 5’s, and finishes with a par 5 as well for a total of five par-5’s on the course with yardages ranging from 520-567 yards (from the tips).  Water only comes into play on a few holes.  The par 4’s are also widely varied (from 320-420 yards).  There’s yardage plates in the middle of the fairways at 200, 150 and 100 yards that can appear to be hidden, so a rangefinder/GPS device isn’t the worst thing to have.  If you play in the afternoon expect a breeze off the ocean (only 5-6 miles from the ocean).

Teeing off on #10 at Mile Square (classic). This sums up the vibe pretty well.

My next port of call was Mile Square Golf Course, another 36-hole facility in Fountain Valley, the town where I went to high school and spent some formative years getting into various kinds of trouble (my attorney has advised me from making any additional statements).  The town may lack a certain verve and excitement (I mean, the city’s motto is “a nice place to live”) but it gets golf right.  There are two main courses (the older ‘Classic’ course and a newer ‘Players’ course that there are rumours about it shuttering; hopefully this doesn’t happen), plus an 18-hole ‘Executive’ course (David L. Baker) on the north side of the park that is lit should you want to play at night (why more courses don’t do this remains a mystery).  Of the two main courses, it’ll run you $41 Monday-Thursday and $55 Friday-Sunday to walk.  Both courses are easily walkable.  Flat and with minimal distances between holes.  The majority of people playing either carried or were part of the Push Cart Mafia.  There’s a driving range and several practice greens.

Like Costa Mesa CC, the cart paths are beat up, but the fairways (and especially the greens) were in good shape.  The greens are especially good.  They use recycled water so best to not lick your ball if it rolled in the dew.  In the DC area this course would be full at $70-$90.  The 9th hole runs parallel to a busy street so going right is highly unadvisable.  Both courses are very busy so expect a 4-5 hour round (I played early on a Saturday morning and finished in 4:15; the group in front of us were lagging a bit but they were apologetic about it and were trying to keep up).  Like Costa Mesa (and Meadowlark, below) playing in the afternoon means you’re getting a sea breeze coming from the ocean almost every day.

From the rough on #1 at the Classic Course at Mile Square.

Mile Square Park is very much a public park, and it was playing here that a light came on in the normally empty space that is my head.  On the front nine, a few holes border a series of baseball fields where kids were out practicing and playing.  Soccer fields sat empty but it was obvious that they’d be in use that day.  Outdoor basketball courts were visible as well.  On the back nine, more soccer fields and several softball fields were getting used, with the softball games drawing heavy crowds.  There’s even a nature preserve, and of course lots of running/walking/biking trails.

Unless dirt/rock cart paths bug you (and they don’t bug me), Mile Square is a great place to play. It’s flat (I was at an angle).

The country club set would probably shiver and require fainting couches for having to play amid young girls and their parents cheering wildly at base hits and runs, but I found that it didn’t detract from my round.  And shouldn’t THAT be the standard?  Why can’t we co-exist?  Shouldn’t a public park that has golf (and other sports) be able to exist peacefully?  Why yell at each other when it just seems easier to get along.

Flirted with a watery grave on the 14th hole at Mile Square.

If I did have a complaint, it’s for a lack of a short (under 130 yards) par 3.  The 13th hole (below) is the shortest hole at 144 yards from the middle tees.  The other par 3’s are 155, 170 and 165 yards from the middle tees.

13th hole at Mile Square (classic). Shortest par 3 on the course (144 from the middle tees).  Behind us were a few softball fields that had games going on.  Wish they were cheering for me but such is life.

My last round was at Meadowlark GC in Huntington Beach.  It was a challenge to get on at Meadowlark since they don’t take walk-ins as of this writing but I managed to get a tee time.  It would have been nice if I’d have managed to charge my phone to take a few photos but I dropped the ball on that one.  Meadowlark is relatively tame on the scorecard, topping out at just over 5,600 yards from the tips.  However, the ocean is only a mile or so away so an ocean breeze should be expected most of the time.  Meadowlark is tighter than the other courses and wayward shots can bring some challenges into play.  Rough was a non-issue; greens were good (all of the courses have poa annua greens if you care; it’s quite common here as are the kikuyu fairways and tee boxes; you’ll find the same down the road at Torrey Pines); maybe not as good as those at Mile Square but decent.  Some areas weren’t lush but were burned out a bit, but generally speaking the fairways and greens were more than playable.

The course very much fits on the small plot of land it occupies.  With a couple exceptions the course is relatively flat, and the pricing is quite reasonable.  Walking rates vary from $34-$50 depending on day of week.  When I was there I saw a significant number (close to, but not quite 50%) of players using pull/push carts.

In four rounds, I didn’t lose a single ball.  I didn’t play that well and certainly didn’t score well, but I was able to avoid any big trouble (not that these courses have much).  Meadowlark probably has a couple holes with water very much in play where losing a ball is fairly easy (water at Mile Square is only on a few holes and a couple at Los Lagos at Costa Mesa).  Like Mile Square, there are a couple holes where getting wild puts your ball on a busy street so please don’t.

Look, if you’re visiting Orange County, a trip to some of the tonier public courses (Pelican Hill, Strawberry Farms, Coyote Hills, Tustin Ranch, Monarch Beach) is certainly a fantastic day out especially if money isn’t an object (Pelican Hill’s views are especially fantastic; played it once in 1996 when a colleague paid for us to play), but I’d argue that you don’t need to break the bank in order to play good golf.  While Costa Mesa, Mile Square and Meadowlark don’t have million-dollar views, they’re what public golf should be.  Affordable, fun, and a vital part of the community and populated by your fellow public golfers who love the game.  Mile Square is where I came to love this game, and while she may not be the belle of the ball, she can dance with me anytime she wants.  Just don’t go right on #9.

 

 

 

We’re Dealing With a Lot of Shit

I’ve been here. It was prettier than I can explain.

It’s been a rough few weeks here at SGIC Amalgamated Industries.  Nothing really golf-related, but a bunch of other stuff that’s going on and making things less than ideal.  Things that I’m not really ready to discuss right now.  Maybe later once there’s some kind of a resolution.

As usual, my US Open picks were a mixed bag:

Of my five picked guys, I had Rahm winning along with Xander and Casey finishing tied for 7th.  Not bad.  Conners missed the cut which was a shock given his form and his underlying stats, and Viktor Hovland WD from getting sand in his eye wasn’t expected.   With no single dominant player, lately it’s been a lot of first-time winners (I’m still not sure what to make of Mickelson’s win in Kiawah Island at the USPGA).

My white-hot take on the Olympics: the format is boring and needs changing.  A 2-person team competition would be interesting, even a hybrid match play event where they play 36 holes of stroke play to qualify, and the top 16 qualify for the match play portion.  I’d encourage the IGF (the sport’s global governing body) to work with the major pro tours (PGA Tour, LPGA Tour, European Tour, etc.) and find out what they would like to see in terms of format.  By that, get input from players as well as buy-in.  As I’ve said before, the sport has a shop window that no tournament ever gives them.  Despite the rampant corruption of the IOC, it is in everyone’s interest to find a way to make it work.

I would also add that part of this has to be provisions for the players to get to/from the Olympics as easy as possible.  This means chartered flights to the Olympics and back to the next tournament after the Olympics are done.  You also have to allow the players’ coaches, caddies and trainers full access to the players at all times (and provide facilities for treatment).  This also means the caddies get the full Olympic Village treatment and get better treatment than they’re used to (and are part of those chartered flights).

My other thought?   Present this to the players as a “once in a lifetime” deal, which is what the Olympics really should be.  Meaning, they go and play once and they can opt out of future events.  I don’t think asking a player to give up two weeks of their season ONCE in their careers is a big deal (maybe have the Tour award FedEx/CME Globe points to those that play in the Olympics; I’d even be happy if they got a 3 to 5 year exemption for medaling and an exemption similar to winning a major for winning gold).  If a player (this is mainly for US players) refuses to go over after qualifying (and having never played in an Olympics previously), then they should be ineligible for Ryder Cup/Presidents Cup events.  Once a player plays once, they can opt out with no penalty/disciplinary problem.

DJ’s father in law showing what the Olympics meant to him.

Courses?  For 2024 in Paris, Le Golf National (venue of the 2018 Ryder Cup) makes complete sense.  It has the infrastructure to host the players and galleries.

My wish list for Los Angeles in 2028?

  1. Riviera.  Central location, the course bleeds history, and it would be nice to have the women finally be able to play a high-profile event at Riviera.  They certainly deserve to play on the elite-level courses.
  2. LACC.  Location, history are there.  The question will be how well it holds up during the 2023 US Open and if the membership are willing to host an Olympics five years after hosting a US Open.
  3. Rancho Park.  If you’re going to create a legacy (something that the Games love to talk about), you put Bethpage Black level funding into making Rancho Park a great course.   This is swinging for the fences time.  You redo it, and you leave a legacy where Angelinos can play an Olympic course.  Central location, and the public/muni course is a tremendous demonstration about walking the walk when it comes to leaving a legacy for people.
  4. Rustic Canyon.  It’s not a central location, but the bones are obviously there.
  5. Pasatiempo.  Again, it’s not in Southern California, but we’re talking once in a lifetime stuff here.   The course might struggle to test the elite men, but it’s certainly held its own against the best college players.

SONG OF THE DAY

Vastly underrated, Everything But The Girl have been making records since the early 80’s.  This song is a mix of house, coffee house jazz, EDM, and some other stuff.

2021 Masters Picks

When everyone else is going to the dance and you’re at home. Sorry, Rick.

It’s that time of year again.  The Azaleas and Dogwoods are blooming in Georgia (and here in the DMV my seasonal allergies are just starting to kick in), which means it’s Masters Tournament (or Toon-A-Mint if you prefer) week.  It’s the first major of the year, unlike last year when it was the last.  The usual suspects (minus Angel Cabrera who is toiling on the Argentinian-Brazilian Penal Tour) are all in place, and Jim Nantz is ready to do what he does.

Having performed the kind of deep analysis that I’m known for, I’m ready to make my picks for the week.  First, some talking points:

  1. 11 of the last 15 years and 8 of the last 10 years have seen first-time winners.  The repeat winners?  Phil Mickelson, Bubba Watson, and some Tiger fella.
  2. This leads me to think it’ll be a first-time winner.
  3. The average winning score over the last10 years is 12 under (276).
  4. In the last 10 years, there have been 6 US winners and 4 non-US winners.
  5. Winning the Players Championship and/or the Match Play all but take you out of winning the Masters, so no go to Justin Thomas and Billy Horschel (understandable if Horschel is still exhausted from playing so much in Austin).

Picking five guys who will be your contenders for winning, I’ve come up with the following:

Jon Rahm, Tommy Fleetwood, Xander Shauffele,  Sungjae Im, Daniel Berger.

Just missing: Jason Day, Tony Finau.

Guys I’m rooting for: Marc Leishman, Mackenzie Hughes, Corey Conners, Max Homa.

Spieth, Dechambeau, Rory will finish just out in that top 15-25 area.

Let’s hope that in a week we remember the tournament for great golf and not because of something else. Please.

 

 

Who Runs What; Explained

We’re now into April of 2021, and slowly, our cold winter is starting to give way to spring.  Hello, budding trees, green grass, and in a few weeks millions upon millions of cicadas will invade the area for their once-every-seventeen-year brood (i.e. sex party).  There will be pollen, and your faithful scribe will spend a good amount of the next several weeks sneezing.  It’s not COVID, it’s allergies.  Oh, and seemingly smart people will show zero clue about who runs what in professional and amateur golf.

While we here at SGIC Amalgamated Industries support freedoms and we support people using their constitutional rights, generally speaking we avoid getting involved in political issues because it’s not really why SGIC Amalgamated Industries was started.  Plus, we like to find things that unite us and not divide us which was the whole point behind this project.  Golf was, is and should always be for everyone who loves the game (and the course along with their fellow players).  But, we wanted to help provide an explainer on who runs what, so that people might actually know who is (and is not) behind certain events, given how often people lump certain terms together.  In short, if you’re going to get angry, it’s a good idea if you knew who to actually get angry at.  You’re welcome.

PGA: Professional Golfers Association. Most golf-playing countries have one.  The PGA of America is made up of club professionals (i.e. teaching professionals) who work at courses and typically focus on teaching the game to others.  The PGA of America run the PGA Championship (held this year at Kiawah Island in South Carolina), the LPGA Championship (held this year at Atlanta Athletic Club) and the US side of the Ryder Cup (held this year at Whistling Straits in Wisconsin; it was moved from 2020 due to COVID), which is held every other year between the United States and Europe.  Relocated the 2022 PGA Championship to Southern Hills in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  The PGA was not, is not, and will not be the PGA Tour.  Two completely different organizations run by completely different people.  More on that in a moment.  Suzy Whaley is the current President of the PGA of America.  The PGA of America has nothing to do with a certain invitational tournament played in Georgia in early April (more on that later).

PGA Tour: Player-run organization that runs non-major championship golf made up of members who are touring professionals (i.e. NOT typically teaching professionals).  Phil Mickelson probably doesn’t spend 3 hours a day folding sweaters and giving hourly lessons for 4-5 hours a day (I mean, he “might” but I doubt it) and Tiger Woods isn’t doing weekly lessons with your Uncle Pete (unless your Uncle Pete is exceedingly rich and was able to convince Tiger to give him a lesson).  The Commissioner of the PGA Tour is Jay Monahan.  The LPGA Tour Commissioner is currently Mike Whan (who is leaving his position).  The PGA Tour also runs The Presidents Cup, an every-other-year team event between the United States and an International Team (made up of non-European countries).

USGA: United States Golf Association.  Organization that runs national championships (US Open, US Women’s Open, US Amateur, US Women’s Amateur among others), and is responsible for the US version of the rules of golf.  They also provide testing and approvals on playing equipment (clubs, balls) and handicapping (enabling players to sign up for an official USGA handicap using the new World Handicap System), which is designed to allow players of different abilities to have a competitive match.  Their involvement with professional golf is limited to the US Open championships (which are open to professional and amateur players) for men, women and senior men.

ANGC: Augusta National Golf Club.  Private golf club based in Augusta, Georgia typically open from October until May (they close during the summer months).  Runs every aspect of The Masters tournament (typically played in early April), along with the Augusta National Women’s Amateur and the Drive, Chip and Putt event for children (typically held the Sunday before the start of the Masters Tournament).  They do not disclose their membership list, and membership is by invitation only.  However, an Internet search “could” find a membership list sorted by the State that the member lives in.  The Masters Tournament TV contract is its own entity; it is not part of any other TV contract.  CBS and ESPN are the current US rights holders; the contract is typically done only one year at a time, and ANGC signs off on any announcers covering the event (Gary McCord was removed from the CBS crew after some critical comments about the course setup).

 

 

 

The Worst Golf Movies, Not In Any Particular Order

The Judge is waiting for a better golf movie.

As a rule I don’t watch Inaugurations even though I’ve lived in the DC area for a while.  Usually I’m working, and in 2001 (Inauguration fell on a Saturday that year) I was on a flight to the west coast when George W. Bush was sworn in (I was trying to avoid bad weather).  It’s nothing political, it’s just not my bag.  I’ll probably watch some of the Inaugural address when I have the time to pay attention.

So on this Inauguration Day, since the departing and newly-sworn in POTUS both play (one a lot more than the other), I thought I’d do a deep dive of the worst golf movies.  Everyone has their top-5 or top-10.  This is a top-7 list.  Some of them you’ll recall instantly, and others you’ll have forgotten (or tried to forget) they existed.

Before I jump into the list, I thought it would be helpful if I provided my methodology in how I reviewed these films.

  • Story.  Does the plot make sense?  Does the script follow a progression?
  • Acting.  How good are the actors?
  • Golf.  Do the golf scenes look realistic?  Do the actors/actresses who are playing golf appear to know what they’re doing (if they’re playing characters who are pros/elite amateurs)?  Much like hockey films, this is an area that gets overlooked (I’m looking at you, Mighty Ducks trilogy).  The better option is to do what the producers did for the hockey film “Miracle” which is find guys who can play hockey and teach them acting (the hockey scenes are VERY good).
  • Directing.  How are the golf scenes shot?  Are there obvious continuity errors?  Do the scenes ‘look’ genuine?
  • Re-watch factor.  The best golf films can be re-watched.  Would you want to re-watch?

Again, this list is not in any particular order.  I took notes, watched films, and that’s it.  These films are all uniquely bad for reasons I’ll get into.

  1. Caddyshack II (released 1988).  This falls into how I feel about the sequels to Slap Shot (hockey people feel about Slap Shot what golfers feel about Caddyshack; notably the sequel(s) were terrible ideas).  They’re terrible, poorly conceived, horribly written and to borrow a phrase, the audience is the worse for having watched it.  Much of the original cast is gone and replaced with people who should know better.  Robert Stack as the Judge Smails and Jackie Mason as the Al Czervik is all you need to know.  Beyond terrible and not even in a “so bad it’s good” way.  Insipid.  Awful.  The best thing I can say about these films is that Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray and Ted Knight had the decency to run away from this flaming turd of a film.  The people who made this film should apologize to anyone who’s had to sit through it.
  2. Happy Gilmore (released 1996).  I know there are people who like this film as it’s an Adam Sandler film and he has his fans.  This ain’t it, chief.  Sandler has “one” character he plays with very few exceptions (the odd drama film).  He’s playing Adam Sandler Comedic Goof.  The golf plotline is terrible and completely divorced from reality.  The continuity errors are in the dozens (obviously shot at multiple locations at different times of the year and changing for no reason).  Christopher McDonald’s ‘Shooter McGavin’ character is the only thing decent.  Again- touring pros AND a then-nascent Golf Channel bought onto this.  A poster child for failing to get the details right.
  3. Greatest Game Ever Played (released 2005).  A good book does not always make for a good movie.  The problems start with Shia Lebeouf, who is awful as the film’s lead Francis Ouimet.  His golf swing is god-awful.  It’s worse than Matt Damon’s in ‘Bagger Vance’ which is saying something.  At no point do you think he’s playing that role.  He’s just Shia Lebeouf looking like a 30-handicap chopper in period dress.  I wanted to like this film (seriously- the book is good).  It’s awful.  Shia should apologize to Stephen Dillane who is actually good.  The film makes several factual errors that go against what actually happened.
  4. The Tiger Woods Story (released 1998).  The Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie enema of golf films.  Undoubtedly some smooth-brained troglodyte wearing white shoes and a nose ring thought to greenlight this dumpster fire after his Masters win.  The lead (whose name bears not repeating) didn’t really look like Woods, and the golf scenes are awful.  It’s consistently awful.   No thought was put into this film.  It jumps around without ever actually making a point.  I had forgotten it existed until I started researching this.  I feel gross.  The script (assuming there was one) has all the emotion of a manila envelope.
  5. Who’s Your Caddy (released 2007).  If you don’t understand golf, don’t do golf films.  Not authentic.  More of a comedic vehicle.  It’s as if they thought “we have this dumpster fire of a script with comedic actors, let’s spin the wheel and find out some details….and hey let’s have them be caddies!” or something.   At some point someone is going to make a great film about caddies (Tin Cup does the role ‘some’ justice).  This…is not that film.  It’s not to say that every golf scene has to involve professionals, but if the actors are playing pros/elite amateurs they should look the part.  A good example of not good players in a great scene?  The golf scene in ‘Sideways’.  Two guys who aren’t any good but who make bad swings and look the part.  Anyone who’s played a lot of public golf can relate to Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church being in front of them and the reactions from everyone.
  6. A Gentleman’s Game (released 2002).  A 90-minute slog about adolescence and being honest.  Less a golf movie and more of an After-School Special (kids, ask your parents) with Gary Sinise.  Instead of “Timmy discovers marijuana!?!” it’s “Timmy sees the mean old man cheating and being a racist.”  Which is bad.  So don’t cheat.  Don’t be racist.  Be honest.  Don’t cheat.  Eat your vegetables and bathe daily.  Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
  7. The Squeeze (released 2015).  Directed by former ABC golf producer Terry Jastrow who is well connected in Hollywood and golf circles.  Anne Archer was part of the production.  Christopher McDonald and Jeremy Sumpter are in it.  And yet,  it’s not any good.  A good third of the film has zero relevancy to the plot (none of it remaining part of answering the basic “What’s the Story?” question).  The plot gets in its own way.  The golf scenes in the main match are well done, but the rest of the film jumps around.  When I heard about it I really thought it would be better.  It’s not.  Luckily it’s confined to Golf Channel.

So that’s it.  Seven golf films not worth your time.  Hopefully ‘someone’ can write a script for a golf movie that gets the golf parts correct and can couple that with a good story.  Movies, at their best, tell great stories.  Let’s hope so.

Yes, This Is A List Of 2022 PGA Championship Replacement Options

Not to brag or anything, but in my last blog post I predicted (correctly) that the PGA of America would move the 2022 PGA Championship away from Trump National in Bedminster, New Jersey.  I didn’t think it would happen this quickly (I tended to lean in the direction that John Feinstein indicated where it would be announced after Joe Biden was sworn in).

So now it’s gone, and the R&A have also indicated that they have no desire to bring any of their championships to Turnberry.

https://twitter.com/RandA/status/1348631505254440960

Pretty clear.  I don’t know if the USGA has put anything out (as of this writing they haven’t), or if there is an internal understanding that they will never pursue that option.  Honestly either one works at this point, although on some level Trump has to know that he will never see another major championship (his course in Sterling, Virginia hosted the 2017 Senior PGA Championship and his course in New Jersey hosted the 2017 US Women’s Open) at one of his courses.

So what to do with the 2022 PGA Championship?  My thoughts keep going to the idea that 2021 is going to be a ‘highly limited or no fans’ option (in which case you have options you otherwise wouldn’t have) and that Kiawah would be smart to agree to move to 2022, opening up this year.  But, the logistics then become a nightmare.  So, if you’re hosting it in May of 2022 (and Kiawah isn’t moving off of this year) and need a venue, here are my suggestions, in no particular order:

  1. Bethpage Black.  It’s very much on the PGA’s radar, and is slated to host the Ryder Cup in 2025.  In the same general area as New Jersey.  A good trial balloon for security and routing come 2025, which should be bonkers.  Going to a public course would be a good statement about accessibility of the game if that’s something the PGA of America cares about.
  2. Chambers Bay. Has the space to hold a major championship and by all accounts they don’t have the turf issues they had in 2015.  Reminder that west coast events mean a prime time finish on the east coast.  Also means thunderstorms aren’t really an issue.  Do not let anyone from the USGA on course grounds unless they buy a ticket.
  3. Riviera.  Move the Genesis Open to Sherwood for one year (which can accommodate fans), and play the PGA at Riviera.  West Coast prime time finish on a course that everyone respects.  May in California would be perfect.
  4. Hazeltine.  One of those PGA shortlist venues that has hosted PGA-run events.  May in Minnesota is a bit of a lottery weather-wise, but Minnesotans have long shown they will turn up for events.
  5. TPC Potomac.  Not sure if the PGA would ever go to a TPC network course, but it’s shown it holds up to modern pros when you look at scores from the last year of the AT&T National.  Not slated to host anything so not like nearby Congressional having to give up their course for renovations, then majors.
  6. Pebble Beach.  It “has” hosted a PGA (1977).  The ultimate in “plug and play” courses.  Long history, everyone knows the course, and west coast takes thunderstorms (and dangerous heat/humidity) out of play.
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