Recently, the NHL announced that they would be playing two pre-season games in Melbourne, Australia in September of 2023 at Rod Laver Arena (primarily used as the main venue for the Australian Open tennis championship), which is curious at best.  Thankfully, the arena does have a retractable roof should inclement weather come about.

For those in North America who are unaware, late September is when both winter sports in Australia (rugby league (NRL) and Australian Rules football (AFL)) are finishing their play-offs, with the AFL typically playing both semi-final games in Melbourne.  Melbourne is also home to one of the better NRL teams, who could be playing as well by late September.  This assuring the NHL that nobody in Australia will likely notice.   If that weren’t enough competition, it’s also the start of the rugby union World Cup in France.  Thankfully the FIFA Women’s World Cup will be completed by then.

Being a fan of rugby league, it occurred to me that the NRL and the NHL are in many ways similar.  Both run by wildly unpopular men who have a history of odd appearances and interesting thoughts on labor unions (among other things).  International and representative games do better than club games.  Both leagues have teams in two countries who have an odd relationship with one another.

At their best, both sports are built upon physical play, collisions a constant focus on trying to grow the game while another sport whose season runs parallel to theirs draws better ratings, and at times still gets referred to as being a largely regional (rather than national) sport.  At least the guy running the NRL hasn’t (yet) declared a lockout and canceled an entire season because of a labour dispute.  I mean, who’d do something that stupid?  Oh, hi Gary!

But if you’re a fan of the NRL, perhaps you’re wondering which NHL team you should support?  While you’d think the NHL would send two of its marquee teams to promote the game, fans in Australia will be getting the Los Angeles Kings (okay, fair enough), and…if I’m reading this correctly, the Arizona Coyotes.

Worry not, North American sports fans.  The NRL has announced that they will move two regular season (not pre-season) games to Las Vegas next year (2024).  This will feature South Sydney Rabbitohs (one of their owners and major investors is Russell Crowe), Manly Sea Eagles (Hugh Jackman is probably their best-known celebrity fan), Brisbane Broncos (the late Steve Irwin and Lachlan Murdoch (son of Rupert) are their best-known celebrity fans, although NewsCorp is the majority owner of the Broncos), and Melbourne Storm (best known for having to forfeit several championships in 2010 over pervasive violations of the league’s salary cap laws).

The Coyotes used to play in Winnipeg (in Canada if you weren’t sure where Winnipeg was) but moved to Phoenix for economic reasons, which might lead you to think that the Coyotes are a huge success in financial terms now that they’re in Arizona.  Not so much.  They started out playing in the same arena as the NBA’s Suns, then moved to Glendale (about 30-40 minutes from Phoenix), then left there after the arena terminated their lease.  They currently play in an arena in Tempe (just outside of Phoenix) that they share with a college hockey team that seats just over 5,000 (NHL arenas typically hold 17-20K) and are hoping to play in an arena that hasn’t been built yet (and may never get built).

NRL fans are used to a competing sport that draws better numbers and is more popular, so you should really enjoy the NHL, who get trounced in the ratings by the NBA.

You say you like a guy running your sport who’s universally hated, looks like a Batman villain and says some of the dumbest shit imaginable?  You’ll fit right in.

You say you like it when your sport has a salary cap with more loopholes that most people have brain cells?  You see where I’m going with this.

When you see memes that compare your sport’s toughness to that other more popular sport, does this make you all giddy inside?  We have a winner.

But what team should you support?  Unlike most North American leagues, the NHL has a heavy presence in Canada, where 7 of the 32 teams play.  Luckily, I’ve done the work for you to help you find a team to support.  You’re welcome.  Now be prepared to have your soul destroyed.  Enjoy.

Sydney Roosters supporters: You like tradition, and teams that wear the tricolor of red, white, and blue.  Your fans have no problem reminding everyone that they’ve been around longer than anyone else.  The term ‘FIGJAM’ is something you enjoy using.  You have a hated rival.  Several, really.  A 30-minute ceremony to honor your tradition before every home game is just your thing.  You like your owner despite him not being from your home city.  Your fans are…something.  Your NHL team: Montreal Canadiens.

Penrith Panthers: Defending champions (2021, 2022) but struggling a bit with injuries.  Still the best current team (seriously) when healthy.  You’re from the mountains.  Everyone kind of dug you as fun a couple years ago, and now you’re the obnoxious bully everyone wants to see take one on the chin.  Your NHL team: Colorado Avalanche.  Alternate Choice: Boston Bruins.

Melbourne Storm: You’ve been there or thereabouts several years in a row.  Your team is a bit arrogant and has players who aren’t that popular outside your own fanbase.  You kind of get lost in your own back yard as other sports based in your city are more popular, but you don’t care.  Flaunting rules is very much your thing and boy are you a fan of doing some grubby stuff.  You ‘might’ be in decline but your coach is one of the best in the game.  Your NHL team: Tampa Bay Lightning.

Cronulla Sharks: Your team won that one title several years ago that everyone seems to forget about.  While you’re in the Greater Sydney area, you’re not really “in” Sydney, are you?  You’re improving.  Nobody really wants to live in your backyard.  Your most well-known player was named Paul and has an interesting history.  Your NHL team: Anaheim Ducks.

Manly Sea Eagles: You’ve won some titles, and your part of the city is widely associated with the beach.  Your team has a couple great players who can get you in the play-offs but let’s not talk about that one thing.  Or that other thing.  Movie star fans?  Check.  You have a fair bit of history and acquired one of the greats under some weird circumstances.  Your NHL team: Los Angeles Kings.

South Sydney Rabbitohs: You play in the largest city in the continent and have legions of fans who show up at random places.  You even have your share of celebrity fans besides Russell Crowe.  While you play in the big city, you like to tell people you’re the heart of the sport and not that other team that you hate.  You won a title after a long drought and everyone went crazy celebrating that championship.  You just acquired a great player who everyone wondered how you’d fit them under the salary cap.  Prior to that, things were kind of dark.  You’re one of the better teams right now and you love to remind that team you hate that they’ve slipped a notch.  Your NHL team: New York Rangers.

Dolphins: Hey, look at you, having an amazing first season near the party capital of the country!  Exceeding expectations, wearing new colors, and you’ve got that famous coach.  Bold choice with the gold/beige in your uniforms.  Your NHL team: Vegas Golden Knights.

North Queensland Cowboys: You embrace the rural spirit of your home state/province and that Cowboy ethos.  You have a distinctive looking arena and can’t really stand how that other team gets more attention.  You’re the true heart of the game.  Your NHL team: Calgary Flames.  Alternate: Edmonton Oilers.

Gold Coast Titans: Nobody really knows why you exist.  Everyone points to population and other things that show that it makes sense, but your team isn’t that good despite being in that area that everyone said is a gold mine but is mostly a resort/leisure area.  They keep trying to make this thing work and swear at some point it’ll happen.  There were a couple players who came up in your area but they’re playing elsewhere.  There’s no sign they want to come back.  Your current arena is a joke.  Your NHL team: Arizona/Phoenix Coyotes.

Newcastle Knights: Your fans are from a manufacturing/mining base who represent the ‘real’ people of your country.  You win titles when you have generational talents/immortals playing for you, even though everyone kind of forgets that the one talent has had some…let’s call them challenges.  Your NHL team: Pittsburgh Penguins.

Wests Tigers: You had a weird merger with another team in the 90’s that everyone loved and still longs for in some circles even though that team kind of moved elsewhere.  You’ve had a couple decent seasons but are now very much in rebuilding mode except for the one player who you can’t really get rid of.  Your spiritual home is a shithole.  Your NHL team: San Jose Sharks.

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs: A team with rich history that was good in the 2000’s and early 2010’s but has since gone off the rails, but you’ve got that famous guy running things who used to play for the team, which has everyone pretty excited.  Everyone’s pretty excited seeing what he did at his previous club.  Everyone thinks you’re a year or two away from being really good if you catch a break.  Most people hate your fans.  Your NHL team: Detroit Red Wings.

Canberra Raiders: You have this odd fascination with being cold that you use to your advantage.  You’re in the nation’s capital and have had some success including a recent final appearance that went off the rails a bit.  You’re close to the largest city in the country and are often made to feel like a pariah by people in the bigger cities.  The team isn’t bad, but the arena is a pain the ass to get to and from and you’d like a new one.  Some players don’t want to play for your team.  Your NHL Team: Ottawa Senators.

Parramatta Eels: You have some history and have been good last year, but your neighbors are dominating.  You were really good last year but your neighbors kind of knocked you down a rung or two.  You recently made it to the championship which surprised a bunch of people but got absolutely steamrolled.  Your NHL team: Florida Panthers.

St. George/Illawarra Dragons: You had a decent run in the late 2000’s/early 2010’s, and now things have gone bad.  Your reputation (both ownership and players) is at best not very good.  Seriously, it’s bad.  You have a LOT of bad apples.  Everyone just kind of forgot all that while you were winning.  You just won a lottery, so there’s that.  You’re kind of a big deal, and certainly the broadcasters are happy when you’re doing well given your fan base.  Red is your power color.  Your NHL team: Chicago Blackhawks.

Brisbane Broncos: You play in the largest market in the game, owned by highly reviled media entities that broadcast the game in your country.  Somehow this is normal.  People either love you or they hate you with the fire of a 1000 suns.  Your building is a fortress for representative and national teams.  Everyone outside your fan base celebrates when you lose.  When you finished last?  Yeah, everyone really loved that.  Seriously, people really hate your team.  They REALLY resent that you’re always getting the best TV slots for games even when the team isn’t good, even though it’s entirely ratings driven.  When you lost a gut-wrenching finals game after being ahead late, everyone loved seeing you lose.  Your fans tend to show up no matter what.  Your city is pretty fun to be around; it’s considered (to the ire of everyone else) to be the centre of the sport’s universe despite that other city to the south being larger.  You were a hub in 2020.  Your NHL team: Toronto Maple Leafs.

Adelaide Rams/Western Reds: Losing your team sucks, especially when you’re nowhere near the next closest team in the league.  Your fans get more credit than they deserve.  Your NHL team: Quebec Nordiques.  Or Hartford Whalers.

I’ve been here. It was prettier than I can explain.

It’s been a rough few weeks here at SGIC Amalgamated Industries.  Nothing really golf-related, but a bunch of other stuff that’s going on and making things less than ideal.  Things that I’m not really ready to discuss right now.  Maybe later once there’s some kind of a resolution.

I'll be off the grid for a couple weeks. Mostly in transit. Taking care of some things that I need to do.

— JC-Your Parents Warned You About Me (@1golferincart) June 20, 2021

As usual, my US Open picks were a mixed bag:

US Open picks: The form shows a TON of first-time winners over the last 20 years.
Xander, Rahm, Conners, Hovland (all top 20 in total driving).
Darkhorse? Casey.
Reminder from Gary McCord: There's a bar in La Jolla that you can see from 3rd green. Everything breaks towards it.

— JC-Your Parents Warned You About Me (@1golferincart) June 17, 2021

Of my five picked guys, I had Rahm winning along with Xander and Casey finishing tied for 7th.  Not bad.  Conners missed the cut which was a shock given his form and his underlying stats, and Viktor Hovland WD from getting sand in his eye wasn’t expected.   With no single dominant player, lately it’s been a lot of first-time winners (I’m still not sure what to make of Mickelson’s win in Kiawah Island at the USPGA).

My white-hot take on the Olympics: the format is boring and needs changing.  A 2-person team competition would be interesting, even a hybrid match play event where they play 36 holes of stroke play to qualify, and the top 16 qualify for the match play portion.  I’d encourage the IGF (the sport’s global governing body) to work with the major pro tours (PGA Tour, LPGA Tour, European Tour, etc.) and find out what they would like to see in terms of format.  By that, get input from players as well as buy-in.  As I’ve said before, the sport has a shop window that no tournament ever gives them.  Despite the rampant corruption of the IOC, it is in everyone’s interest to find a way to make it work.

I would also add that part of this has to be provisions for the players to get to/from the Olympics as easy as possible.  This means chartered flights to the Olympics and back to the next tournament after the Olympics are done.  You also have to allow the players’ coaches, caddies and trainers full access to the players at all times (and provide facilities for treatment).  This also means the caddies get the full Olympic Village treatment and get better treatment than they’re used to (and are part of those chartered flights).

My other thought?   Present this to the players as a “once in a lifetime” deal, which is what the Olympics really should be.  Meaning, they go and play once and they can opt out of future events.  I don’t think asking a player to give up two weeks of their season ONCE in their careers is a big deal (maybe have the Tour award FedEx/CME Globe points to those that play in the Olympics; I’d even be happy if they got a 3 to 5 year exemption for medaling and an exemption similar to winning a major for winning gold).  If a player (this is mainly for US players) refuses to go over after qualifying (and having never played in an Olympics previously), then they should be ineligible for Ryder Cup/Presidents Cup events.  Once a player plays once, they can opt out with no penalty/disciplinary problem.

DJ’s father in law showing what the Olympics meant to him.

Courses?  For 2024 in Paris, Le Golf National (venue of the 2018 Ryder Cup) makes complete sense.  It has the infrastructure to host the players and galleries.

My wish list for Los Angeles in 2028?

1. Riviera.  Central location, the course bleeds history, and it would be nice to have the women finally be able to play a high-profile event at Riviera.  They certainly deserve to play on the elite-level courses.
2. LACC.  Location, history are there.  The question will be how well it holds up during the 2023 US Open and if the membership are willing to host an Olympics five years after hosting a US Open.
3. Rancho Park.  If you’re going to create a legacy (something that the Games love to talk about), you put Bethpage Black level funding into making Rancho Park a great course.   This is swinging for the fences time.  You redo it, and you leave a legacy where Angelinos can play an Olympic course.  Central location, and the public/muni course is a tremendous demonstration about walking the walk when it comes to leaving a legacy for people.
4. Rustic Canyon.  It’s not a central location, but the bones are obviously there.
5. Pasatiempo.  Again, it’s not in Southern California, but we’re talking once in a lifetime stuff here.   The course might struggle to test the elite men, but it’s certainly held its own against the best college players.

SONG OF THE DAY

Vastly underrated, Everything But The Girl have been making records since the early 80’s.  This song is a mix of house, coffee house jazz, EDM, and some other stuff.

When everyone else is going to the dance and you’re at home. Sorry, Rick.

It’s that time of year again.  The Azaleas and Dogwoods are blooming in Georgia (and here in the DMV my seasonal allergies are just starting to kick in), which means it’s Masters Tournament (or Toon-A-Mint if you prefer) week.  It’s the first major of the year, unlike last year when it was the last.  The usual suspects (minus Angel Cabrera who is toiling on the Argentinian-Brazilian Penal Tour) are all in place, and Jim Nantz is ready to do what he does.

Having performed the kind of deep analysis that I’m known for, I’m ready to make my picks for the week.  First, some talking points:

1. 11 of the last 15 years and 8 of the last 10 years have seen first-time winners.  The repeat winners?  Phil Mickelson, Bubba Watson, and some Tiger fella.
2. This leads me to think it’ll be a first-time winner.
3. The average winning score over the last10 years is 12 under (276).
4. In the last 10 years, there have been 6 US winners and 4 non-US winners.
5. Winning the Players Championship and/or the Match Play all but take you out of winning the Masters, so no go to Justin Thomas and Billy Horschel (understandable if Horschel is still exhausted from playing so much in Austin).

Picking five guys who will be your contenders for winning, I’ve come up with the following:

Jon Rahm, Tommy Fleetwood, Xander Shauffele,  Sungjae Im, Daniel Berger.

Just missing: Jason Day, Tony Finau.

Guys I’m rooting for: Marc Leishman, Mackenzie Hughes, Corey Conners, Max Homa.

Spieth, Dechambeau, Rory will finish just out in that top 15-25 area.

Let’s hope that in a week we remember the tournament for great golf and not because of something else. Please.

Q: Is it free?

A: No. BR Live (who has the exclusive rights) is charging $25 to watch.

Q: Is there a non-PPV option?

A: No.

Q: Are Tiger and Phil putting up the money?

A: No.

Q: Can the public buy grounds tickets to watch the match in person?

A: No.

Q: Am I going to invest any time or effort to watch or find highlights?

A: No.

Save your money and either spend the money on yourself, treat someone to lunch, or donate to charity.  If you want to watch golf over Thanksgiving weekend, the Australian Open will be on late night (ET) and prime time (PT).  It’ll be on Golf Channel.

Ready to go this morning. More on my round tomorrow.

The news that JC Penney is closing stores shouldn’t be news to anyone, given the sorry state of brick and mortar retail.  It’s bad enough if you’re a regular sized person, but being the exceptional man that I am, retailers are particularly good at giving me the middle finger, which is why I shop online.  Department stores don’t even try to cater to me, and Destination XL (who purportedly caters to big & tall men) is like playing the lottery (every successful trip means several unsuccessful trips).

Golf stores are equally bad.  Golf Galaxy doesn’t sell “big and tall” sizes either in store or online, and Howard County doesn’t have a Golfsmith or a PGA Tour Superstore (not that these stores sell big and tall sizes either).  Golf Galaxy does have a nice online ordering kiosk but if you’re not going to carry extended sizes then I’m not really sure what the point is (I can’t be the only plus-size-or-whatever-the-hell-you-call-me golfer in the area).  I have a couple trusted online stores I buy my golf apparel from (Cutter & Buck’s online store or Westport Big & Tall who carry Callaway, Cutter & Buck and Peter Millar in big & tall sizes).

I’m weird in that I don’t mind paying for quality.  I’d rather spend $70-$80 on a shirt that I know will hold up for several years rather than spend $40-$50 and have it fall apart after 1-2 seasons (the Cutter & Buck stuff holds up very well; I routinely will get 5-6 years out of a shirt).

Being blessed (cursed actually) with wide feet, shopping for golf shoes is equally dire.  I went into Golf Galaxy to look for shoes (the New Balance shoes I bought 2 years ago are breaking down on me and if I’m honest I need something a bit more structured given my ample proportions).  My beloved Footjoy XPS-1 shoes were laid to rest after 3 long seasons (loved those shoes), and while I don’t hate the New Balance shoes, I’m not sure I’d buy them again (they aren’t breathable and they’re breaking down faster than I would have liked).

So it was with hope and optimism that I strolled into Golf Galaxy in hopes of finding something.  I’d like to say I was successful but I came out empty handed because they don’t carry anything in the wide width that I need and ordering them at their online kiosk was to no avail.

I know Footjoy makes shoes in the width I need, so why retailers make things near on impossible is beyond me (luckily Footjoy has an online store where I can buy them directly at the same price they have them at in-store).  I’m trying to support a Howard County store…seriously (however, I’m pleased to report that She Who Is Really In Charge and I did go to Perfect Pour and buy several bottles of wine).

While I’m on the subject, I can’t recommend Perfect Pour enough.  Brian (their wine guy) knows more about wine than my very good friend and fellow degenerate Kevin Last Name Classified (which is saying something).  Their beer selection is outstanding (and full of regionally brewed products) as is their distilled spirits.   It’s everything you want a locally run retail store to be.  Full of knowledgeable people (and friendly), great selection, and easy to do business with.  The county is better for having them with us.

ON TOUR

The hot-take level bullshit being served up over Pat Perez’s comments (and subsequent walk-back and inevitable claim about being misquoted) about Tiger Woods serve as a reminder why sports talk radio and these ESPN and FS1 ‘talk’ shows should be permanently consigned to the waste-bin.  Uninformed rubes screaming about a sport they know nothing about…what could possibly go wrong (beyond everything)?  Normally we have to wait until the majors for this to come up, but now we’re being treated to an early dose.  As I’ve said several times, the easiest way for Woods to put this behind him is to finish multiple tournaments in a row.  Or keep missing cuts and going WD, and open yourself up to speculation and the like.