Author: currin290 (page 11 of 19)

Random Thoughts For the Day Too Long for Twitter

Could we see this look in the 18th tower anytime in the future?

Could we see this look in the 18th tower anytime in the future?

I don’t have any scoop or knowledge of this happening, but hearing Phil Mickelson’s press conferences (where he’s apt to pretty much tell you whatever is on his mind) makes me think that, quietly, CBS and NBC (or Fox) people must be contemplating how big of a Brinks truck to back up at Stately Mickelson Manor once he retires from the game.  Either that or he becomes one of those Silicon Valley venture capitalists while hosting a weekly gambling podcast.

With so many major championships seemingly decided (or heavily influenced) by weather (seemingly one half of the draw gets a far better deal than the other half), I wonder if a more equitable approach might be re-pairing after the first round (the Masters used to do this), and drawing tee times for the first round out of a hat?  You can pull an A player, B player, and C player out of a hat (much like how FIFA do the final draw for the World Cup), and assign tee times in that order?  Or do the draw for both round 1 and round 2?  I know that the TV people would complain but I don’t like having one half of the draw being given a huge disadvantage because of weather.

Really hoping that slower green speeds at Troon isn’t causing anyone to have a sad or something.

 

Going Down Ocean Hon (from an Ocean City novice)

Your faithful scribe did not grow up in the DMV, but She Who Is Really In Charge (SWIRIC) is a native of Baltimore and has been known to cut people over a plate of steamed crabs.  She’s also a big Orioles fan (or the f**king Orioles as they’re commonly known as in our house if they blow a lead), and fondly remembers many trips to Ocean City as a kid.  As such, a few years ago (before I started this blog) we decided to vacation in the paradise that is Ocean City, MD.  While the whole steamed crabs thing has never caught on to me, I’m fairly game for most things.  I had heard that Ocean City was a decent golf destination (the Endless Golf shows that are an early morning staple on CSN/MASN are what they are, but I’d like to think that Bobby Vermillion is as fun of a playing partner as he comes across as), and after four rounds at four different courses, I can say that if you’re looking for that family destination that is very underrated from a golf perspective, Ocean City is a solid choice.  It may not be as golf-centric as Myrtle Beach, but the options are better and more plentiful than the Outer Banks or Cape May.

We traveled in June (the week before July 4th week), so things were fairly quiet as peak summer goes.  The July 4th influx was coming in the day we left.  For a golf perspective, it meant that tee times (and me playing early) were fairly easy to manage leaving us time to enjoy our vacation.  Most of the courses are 20-30 minutes from the heart of Ocean City so if you do play, plan accordingly (although I’d use a traffic app if you play on a heavy traffic day).  Pam’s Ocean City Golf Getaways handled my tee times in one phone call (I had already decided where I wanted to play).  I don’t know what kind of relationship they have with the courses, so it’ll be someone else’s job/place to comment on this.  I’ve heard good and bad about Pam’s, but my experience was good. I know they go for the PG-13 rated photos and other innuendo which doesn’t really do much for me, but I’m sure it attracts some customers.

Note: Ordinarily I post photos with course reviews, but I was using an older phone and I neglected to back up my photos.  The photos you’ll see are from the course websites.

Man O'War golf course. Photo from course website.

Man O’War golf course. Photo from course website.

The first course I played was at Glen Riddle, which has two courses.  I played the Man O’War course (the other course is  the War Admiral course).  The Man O’War course is very flat and has more of a links feel to it.  Fairways and tee boxes are Bermuda, so during the colder months and early spring it will be dormant (i.e. brown).  The day I played the course was in good shape (greens was a bit slow as it had rained during the start of the round but were drying up towards the end).  Rough really isn’t a huge issue unless you get real wild and end up in the tall native grass areas.  There’s a Ruth’s Chris steakhouse at the course so an afternoon round and a tasty steak dinner is easily doable.  It’s just over the bridge if you’re leaving Ocean City off of Rt. 50.  There are some blind tee shots and approaches to greens.  The last 5-6 holes on the back nine are more tree-lined that the front 9, so be prepared.  Their pro shop was well-stocked when I played there.  It’s not the most upscale course in the area, but when I played there, I thought it was in good shape with friendly staff.   The Man O’War is just over 7,000 yards from the tips (I played from the blue tees which were just over 6,500 yards and it was more than testing enough).

Photo courtesy of Ocean City Golf Club

Ocean City Golf Club. Bring Mosquito Repellent. Seriously

The next day I played at Ocean City Golf Club, which is also a 36-hole facility with several holes on the bay.  The pro shop was very laid back the day I played there (the decor was dated inside; had a bit of a Caddyshack vibe so not sure if they’ve done work or not).  The guy in the pro shop was friendly enough.  I played the Newport Bay (Seaside is the other course).  It’s not that long (less than 6600 yards from the tips), but if you get wind (I didn’t; more on that later) then it becomes a lot trickier.   The tees, fairways and greens were in good shape the day I played.  My lasting impression was mosquitoes.  If you play there, apply bug spray everywhere.  I can’t say this enough.  I got eaten alive through my shirt (my back had well over 2 dozen bites), and I did apply spray twice to my arms/legs the day I played.  The holes that are near the water are particularly problematic.  The mosquito issue probably rules out a return visit, but other than that it’s a solid layout that isn’t a brutal test for shorter hitters.  Greens rolled pretty true the day I played.  So with all of the concerns over Zika, I’d go heavy on the bug spray and re-apply it often, especially on holes near the bay or marshy areas.

Links at Lighthouse Sound. This view is not applicable to all holes.

Links at Lighthouse Sound. This view is not applicable to all holes.

The third day I played the gem of the Ocean City area, which is The Links at Lighthouse Sound.  I was…not particularly impressed, given the hefty green fee (which does include range balls and cart w/ GPS).  For $149 w/d, $199 w/e, that’s not cheap.  It’s what I paid to play Torrey Pines as a non-resident, and that’s a PGA Tour/US Open course.  It was in good condition the day I played it but for that you reasonably can expect pristine conditions.  Pace of play isn’t that great; it’s a tough course that has a number of tight holes with very little bail-out room.  For a course that is on the bay, only 3 holes have bay views.  It’s just over 7,000 yards from the tips, and just over 6,500 yards from the gold tees (where I played from).  The issue is that at 6,500 you’re looking at a 585 yard par 5 and three par 4’s that play over 400 yards.  If money is no object and you’ve got the game, it’s as good of a test that you could ask for, but I didn’t see the value for what I paid.  Staff was friendly (especially the people in the pro shop), but the starter was, if we’re being honest, a bit of a drill sergeant.  Look, I know you’re trying to get people going, but maybe dial it back a notch or two.

Photo courtesy Rum Pointe Golf Club

Rum Pointe Golf Club. Several holes offer similar vistas.

Last and by no means least, I concluded my golf at Rum Pointe Golf Club.  After having been roughed up the day before at Lighthouse Sound, I was looking for something slightly friendlier, and that’s what I found.  A very relaxed (but friendly) and laid back pro shop sent me on my way.  At less than $100 during the summer with range balls and cart w/ GPS included, it didn’t blow a hole in my wallet.  It’s a Pete/PB Dye design so expect all the things you love (or don’t love) about Dye designs.  A few of the holes on the back side (I played the back 9 first the day I played) are tree-lined, but soon it opens up and you’re dealing with the Dye mounds that border fairways.  I enjoyed my round; 18 is a toughie with a man-made lake running the right side of the hole (it’s over 400 yards on the card but does play slightly downwind).  At 7,000 yards from the tips and 6,500 yards from the blue tees (whites are just over 6,000 yards) it’s plenty of course.  It was a nice way to finish up four tiring but fun days of play.

We rented a 1-bedroom condo that was 50 feet from the beach close to the Fenwick Inn and were very happy with the accommodations.  If shopping is your thing there’s plenty of it; there are outlets in Delaware that are 15-20 minutes away (and it’s the home of tax-free shopping).  There’s also the Ocean City Boardwalk and their beaches; they’re nice enough if a day at the beach is your thing.

If I went back, I’d play Rum Pointe and Man O’War again, and probably make Baywood Greens my “treat” course.  There are other courses that run the gamut in terms of cost and scope.  If not for the mosquitoes I’d go back to Ocean City GC, and skip Lighthouse Sound.

So if your summer plans involve a trek to Ocean City, there’s no reason to leave your clubs at home.  Bring the sticks, play a couple rounds, and treat yourself to a post-round beverage at one of the numerous bars and drinking establishments nearby.

Ducking Out is Ducking Out

The self-centred and appalling behaviour of  golf’s elite male players choosing to opt out of playing in the Olympics is nothing more than another example of putting oneself in front of seemingly irrelevant concerns as growing the game and representing one’s country (let’s file this one away come Ryder Cup time).  To call it anything else is absurd.  If that hurts their tender mercies, then they’ll just have to be offended and exposed for the frauds that they are.  If it is, as at least one person has opined, related to drug testing, then that’s really all you need to know (Olympic drug testing protocols are stricter than those on the PGA, European, or LPGA Tours).  None of these individuals should ever, under any circumstance, be permitted to represent their country in competition again.

On a positive, it’s great that Graham DeLaet is truly honoured and excited to represent his country (Mr. DeLaet’s rushing to assist the victims of the Fort McMurray fire are also noteworthy and laudable).  I’m not fans of theirs, but my respect and appreciation to Patrick Reed and Bubba Watson for not opting out and choosing to go over to represent their country.  I hope they have the opportunity to participate in the Opening Ceremony.  It’s also positive to see that the women (who get 1/10th the publicity of their male counterparts despite conducting themselves flawlessly) have not had this raft of withdrawals, and are uniformly excited at the prospect of participating in the Olympics.  Good on them.

For Dustin Johnson (who opted out via press release late on a Friday night; i.e. the Friday Night Dump), he could have conferred with his father in law (Wayne Gretzky) who knows more about Olympic heartache, glory and passion than he ever will.  He was part of the first group of NHL players who went to Japan in 1998 (during the middle of the season) to play in the Olympics.  For all his effort he came home with a 4th place finish after two heart-breaking losses (including a shootout loss in the semi-final to the Czech Republic when Gretzky was not picked as one of the shooters).  Four years later he was the GM of the 2002 Canadian team that broke a 50-year spell of not winning gold at the Olympics.  Here’s a taste of what this meant to him (during the Olympic tournament).  Not a dollar of money was at stake.  If you feel the need to run through a wall afterwards, it’s completely understandable.

When you consider the considerable effort and lobbying that went into getting golf re-introduced to the Olympic program (among others, Jack Nicklaus, Annika Sorenstam, Ty Votaw, Suzann Petterson, Peter Dawson, Padraig Harrington and Michelle Wie lent their voices and time to the campaign), it’s a scathing indictment on the state of the game that the top 4 men in the World Ranking have said “thanks but no thanks” to the Olympic experience because they will be the poorer for it in the long run.  Not monetarily, but in terms of an experience.  The men and women who medal won’t care, and the global audience will likely not care much either.

It’s sad because come Ryder Cup/President’s Cup time, if selected they will spew the inevitable pre-written lines about love of playing for country, but somehow, playing in the Olympics is  too much of an ask, with the current concern being the Zika Virus and security.  Except that we’re in the middle of summer and there are cases of Zika here in North America.  And security has been a concern of every Olympics since that awful day in West Germany in 1972.  Compare the indifference of golf to that the other new sport, rugby sevens (a 7-a-side  version of rugby) has had zero players opt out (and yes, they’ll be playing their matches outdoors); in fact you’ve had scores of players from other codes try out for their country’s Olympic team.  Nor are any of the soccer players opting out, including the American women.  None of the women playing in their Olympic golf tournament have opted out either.  Are they playing in some Zika-free zone that we’re unaware of?  The vast majority of athletes are going over to do what Olympic athletes do.  Despite the criminal enterprise that is the IOC, they will go over and compete to the best of their abilities (and if you go off of several stories, they blow off a lot of steam in the Olympic village with their fellow athletes).

Was Rio a good choice to host the Olympics?  In a word, no (and sadly, like Athens and Montreal, they will experience crippling debt in the years to come).  Staging an Olympics is, for the most part, an invitation for pending economic disaster unless you already have facilities and infrastructure built (Los Angeles 1984 remains the gold standard for a successful Olympics because they didn’t need to build facilities and anything that was built has been re-purposed).  Neither was Sochi two years ago in Russia, but it didn’t stop athletes from going over and competing, including players from the NHL (and other professional leagues) who went over during the middle of their season to compete.  The NHL players went over, stayed in the not-exactly-luxurious athlete’s village, and competed (sadly, the NHL players may not have the opportunity to participate in 2018 due to a disagreement between the NHL and the IIHF/IOC over player transportation costs and other issues).

I think of the sacrifices that so many athletes who will compete in Rio have made over the last four years (and those whose years of training were unsuccessful in making their country’s Olympic team), and I then compare that to the top 4 ranked men pulling out through press releases sent out by their management.  I think of the athletes who will never win medals, and how their “moment” will be walking into the stadium during the Opening Ceremony; the joy on their faces at simply qualifying to be in the Olympics, and how these four individuals will never know that feeling, and seemingly not care (again, file away when they spew their bullshit about love of country come Ryder Cup/Presidents Cup time).

Yes, but there are also security concerns in Rio…right?  Again- over 10,000 athletes seem willing to make the trip and compete (Michael Phelps is going and I’d argue his profile is just as high, if not higher, than the pampered foursome).  The US basketball roster is pretty high profile as well, and yet- they’re willing to go over and represent their country.

The Olympics remains one of those events people watch en masse.  It will be talked about on social media and the work place.  I still remember the day after the Gold Medal Game of the 2010 Olympic hockey tournament (Canada beat the U.S. in overtime), and people I worked with who aren’t hockey fans and never watch hockey…well they watched.  And loved it.  And were heartbroken when Canada scored the overtime winner (sorry).  Each Olympics has had similar stories.  Given an opportunity to be part of something larger than themselves, these four have chosen the other path.

If you want an individual sport comparable, look no further than tennis which has many similarities to golf.  I still remember watching the wild scenes in London when Andy Murray upset Roger Federer (below) to win the gold medal in 2012.  To see how much it meant to him, even though he was a professional with millions of dollars in winnings and endorsements, was something I’ll never forget.  Or to think of a young Jennifer Capriati break down with emotion in 1992 after upsetting Steffi Graf to win gold in Barcelona.  They were primarily concerned with the success of their own careers, but they put that on hold and represented their country in the Olympics, and they, their sport, and the viewing public were the better for having witnessed it.

Two sportsmen who get it.

Two sportsmen who get it.

To hear Rory McIlroy today speak about not caring about growing the game, but only of winning major championships is particularly distasteful.  The man is the antithesis of what a sportsman should be.  I think about the efforts of men like Arnold Palmer and Gary Player have put forward to grow the game of golf, and how the professional tours owe men like these (and others) a debt that can only be repaid by paying it forward to the next generation.  For McIlroy to go to the Euro 2016 soccer tournament as a fan, wear a shirt with George Best’s face on it (certainly the finest soccer player from Northern Ireland) and watch Northern Ireland (who played in a major tournament for the first time in 30 years) and after that, decide that going to the Olympics was too much for him is someone who clearly has his head somewhere that it doesn’t belong.  He has the right to be a self-centred idiot, but you’ll pardon me if I choose not to celebrate this.

The players who have chosen to not participate have the right to do so, but this decision must come at a cost of a permanent disqualification from Ryder Cup, President’s Cup or future Olympic participation.  They simply cannot be permitted to represent their country again in competition after this act of what can only be considered selfish cowardice.  It gives me no pleasure in writing this, but it’s troubling when these professionals can’t be bothered to give up two weeks of their life to represent their country in the Olympics when thousands of athletes, given the same circumstances, have chosen to go to Rio and compete.

US Women’s Open Review

Courtesy Fox Sports

From an HD camera using super-slo-mo.

The USGA’s inability to organize a lemonade stand, much less conduct a golf tournament, aired its ugly head yet again on Sunday over it’s inability to reasonably administer the rules or do anything remotely close to right during a playoff between Anna Nordqvist and Brittany Lang.  If the last two men’s US Opens weren’t damning evidence of the utter incompetence on display from the USGA, yesterday’s playoff has to permanently disqualify the USGA from conducting professional tournaments.

Shall we count the screw-ups?

1) Despite playing just south of San Jose, California, the USGA and Fox decided to play all four rounds in threesomes with a 2-tee start.  It’s not the first two days that are the issue, but for no reason than to accommodate television, the weekend rounds met the same fate.  Unless storms were forecast (and they weren’t), there’s no reason to do this.  The tournament finished by 4pm PT (if Fox can’t commit to allowing twosomes playing holes 1-18 in that order on the weekends, they should get out of the business of televising golf).  The men would have never been put in this circumstance.  What next- why not have a goddamn shotgun start with foursomes?

2) Pace of play.  If the USGA is going to enforce the rules, then enforce all of them.  This includes pace of play.  Granted, it’s partially on them for having threesomes, but at some point, the women need to stop with this never-ending pre-shot routines and having caddies spending seemingly forever in lining up putts.  To put a group on the clock and then not enforce a second bad time…if we’re doing that then what other rules are we going to ignore?  Not that the men aren’t exactly speed demons (looking at you, Jordan Spieth and Jason Day).  Either you enforce a shot clock, or a time par (miss it and everyone in the group gets a stroke penalty), or we’ll have more 6-hour rounds.

3) Different standards.  The women’s US Open has rightly gone to a 3-hole aggregate score playoff (this week’s Open Championship has a 4-hole playoff, the PGA Championship has a 3-hole playoff, the Masters is sudden death).  As countless others have opined, the idea of the men having an 18-hole playoff the next day is ridiculous.  It is shameful to send tens of thousands of fans home on Sunday night without a winner.  A 3 or 4-hole playoff (with time built in) allows this to happen.  For an organization that talks about gender equality, they’re conducting their national championship with entirely different standards for no reason (and if I were running tennis the four majors would play best-of-five sets for the championship for the women (like the men)).

4) Diana Murphy. You literally have one job on Sunday…make a quick speech and hand the trophy to the winner.  Maybe lay off the booze until afterwards, or maybe buy some index cards and before you go to the podium, have someone who is sober and has a brain WRITE DOWN the name of the winner, the runner-up, and the low amateur.  This is THEIR moment, not yours.  Your job is to literally not be an incompetent jackass, and so far you’re 0-for-2.

5) The Playoff Penalty.  I do find it curious that in PGA Tour events, we rarely, if ever, see issues like this pop up.  There was one earlier this year with Camilo Villegas at the Hilton Head event, and an official came out, made a ruling, and they got on with things. Why is this so difficult?  As I see it, there are two issues going on:

a) As TSN’s Mark Zecchino pointed out, the grounding the club in a hazard rule was designed to prevent players from building a stance.  It was never designed to determine if a player grazed sand that would need HD cameras and super-slo-mo technology to determine if the club touched the sand.  Looking at the replay, while there’s no doubt (using HD cameras and super slo-mo technology) that Anna Nordqvist grounded her club going off of the letter of the rule.  Intent?  No chance in hell.  Put it this way- if I was playing a match I would never call that penalty, nor would I want my opponent to call it.

b) Timing.  Until golf goes to an NRL-style bunker or a tennis-style review that can be instantaneous, we’re left with farcical means of letting players know.  If there was a question, the rules official should have stopped play (they were in a playoff so it wasn’t like they were holding anyone up) and taken a look.  I watch NRL games and the official reviews are pretty well done (as a fan, you can see what they’re reviewing and the camera angles they’re using along with the dialogue between them and the match official).  However, critics complain about what can/can’t be reviewed and how far back in the play they can review.  See below:

What you can’t have, in any sense, is a player not knowing if he/she is going to be penalized, nor can you have their competitors not knowing the result.  What made Nordqvist’s penalty worse is that the USGA waited until she hit her third shot (but not her competitor), so there wasn’t an equity of information.  The technology exists to make these rulings fairly quickly.  Either you embrace the available technology or you don’t, but you can’t have it both ways.  Either use it, or don’t.

As I have said repeatedly, it’s time for the USGA to turn things over to the PGA Tour, European Tour and LPGA/LET Tours to run.  The idea of having rank amateurs as officials simply isn’t good enough.  Even in tennis (closest comparable), while the lines people might be locals, the chair umpires are from the ATP/WTA tours.  Known entities.  The player challenge system in tennis is seamless, takes less than 10 seconds, and is handled electronically.  Ball is in or the ball is out.  Simple.

Your US Open Recap You Probably Expected

Less awkward than Diana Murphy's presentation yesterday (sponsored by grain alcohol).

Less awkward than Diana Murphy’s presentation yesterday (sponsored by grain alcohol).

For the second consecutive year, the self-appointed guardians of the game who conduct this country’s national championship have provided the viewing public with proof that they should never be allowed to conduct a tournament or hand out a trophy (have another drink, Ms. Murphy!) again.  Seriously, just when I thought Gary Bettman had a monopoly on horrible trophy presentations, USGA President Diana Murphy doubles down on stupid (in my happy place they start getting booed similar to Bettman’s annual rite of passage).  At least Bettman is sober when handing out the Stanley Cup.  Grab those dandruff-filled blazers and burn them all.

Maybe just have Nicklaus or Player hand out the US Open trophy for a while.

Maybe just have Nicklaus or Player hand out the US Open trophy for a while.

 

First off, congratulations to Dustin Johnson for having to endure needless mental hardship inflicted by the USGA.  The issue occurred on the 5th hole (where he discussed the issue with a rules official AND his playing partner; at which point it should have been done and dusted), and Johnson was notified on the 12th hole that they’d want to take another look at it after his round.  Why don’t they just have phones going off in his backswing on every hole (and whoever that turd-wrangler whose phone went off while he was hitting his approach on 18, I hope you get eaten by a bear) or have some drunken rube yell “NOONAN!” while he was putting.

If you look at the video, it’s very difficult to see where the ball moves if you view it at regular focus at normal speed (it does, but it takes a super-slo-mo camera and blowing up the picture to see it move).  He didn’t ground his club and he didn’t address the ball.  As Frank Nobilo pointed out, there were 3 incidents (including Johnson’s) of virtually similar things happening.  One didn’t get penalized even through the player clearly grounded his club behind the ball.  In Johnson’s case, he got a rules official involved who said it was no penalty.  Right there should have been the end of it (or at worst, stop him after the hole and review it).  The player, his playing partner and the rules official all said it was fine.  Instead, the USGA, seemingly unhappy unless they manage to piss off the players competing in their national open and 99.99% of people watching, had to get involved after the fact.

What next- an NRL-style (rugby league) bunker where officials will monitor every hole and buzz down if there’s a problem?

Coming soon to a golf tournament near you.

Coming soon to a golf tournament near you.

Of course, this is the USGA, and having seen their prototype, I’m leaking the following photo of their new Rules Bunker that they will employ for the 2017 USGA Championships.

The USGA Rules Enforcement Bunker!

The USGA Rules Enforcement Bunker!

Rarely, if ever, have I seen a group of his fellow touring professionals take to social media to support Johnson and destroy whatever shroud of dignity that the USGA might have had (after this weekend they’ve nothing left).  The worst part is that every one of them was right.  I’ve previously voiced that the USGA serves no purpose and should be disbanded, and after numerous screw-ups at their marquee event, it’s time to administer the last rites and send the USGA to the farm.  It’s not to say that the USGA should turn their national championship into an event where the winner shoots 22 under to win.  Look at the Masters.

The PGA Tour conducts tournaments every week, and somehow, they’re able to conduct tournaments without losing the golf course (that they did lose the course this year at the Players Championship was very much the exception and not the rule).  So instead of having people that do this for a living, you have people who do this 1-4 times a year (assuming that they also set up the US Senior Open, the US Women’s Open and the US Amateur), with only one of these events played by the PGA Tour professionals.

In the link (I’m unable to embed the video), Brandel Chamblee goes after the issue with having a fetish over green speeds (he points out that Augusta National, the R&A and the PGA of America don’t do this).  Oakmont, of all courses, does not need to be tricked up.  After their debacle the last two years (2014 and 2015) of losing the golf course, Oakmont should have been a layup.  A course whose natural agronomy has quick greens and thick rough (literally they don’t need to do anything).  Instead, the USGA tries to trick the course up because they have to “protect” par (this idea needs to be removed from their collective brains).  They wouldn’t have to do any of this golf course kabuki theater of the insane  if they had done what Jack Nicklaus had told them to do 30 years ago (go to a tournament ball).  I’ll point out that if the USGA had greens running at a more normal speed, then the ball wouldn’t move (try balancing a golf ball on a sloped hardwood floor to get the idea).

Instead, as Chamblee points out, because the USGA didn’t rein in the ball, we’re left with 2 options: 8,000 yard courses or let scores become what they become.  On twitter I joked about when we will see a 700-yard par 5 (but I wasn’t kidding).  As Gary Player pointed out, the 8,000 yard courses are ungodly expensive (more turfgrass, more water, more fertilizer, more people to care for the course) and are sending the wrong message to the golfing public and running counter to what the USGA was touting a couple years ago.

The R&A has never worried about protecting par.  If someone shoots 15 under, so be it.  If the winning score is 4 over, then that’s okay as well (the weather can be a huge factor).  They don’t have this fetish about green speeds because the wind is a factor so they can’t turn greens into dining tables.  If the weather is mild with little wind, then scores are going to be lower.  If the wind gets up, then scores will go up.

The PGA of America doesn’t have this fetish over green speeds and protecting par.  They set up courses with some rough and some tucked hole locations, but nothing that gets to the absurd.  If the winning score is 8 under, then great.  If it’s 15 under because guys play lights out, then it’s no big deal (see Valhalla 2014 where you had McIlroy and Mickelson going at it with some fantastic golf).

While I’m having another go at the USGA, while it’s great that they were able to get the course in great shape after the storms on Thursday, it needs to be pointed out that your local golf course does not have a team of over 200 superintendents getting your course ready after a storm.  The folks who do this in our area do a great job by and large but there’s a practical limit to what they can do; tournament conditions should not be expected, but they can do a good job of keeping the course playable (and almost always do exactly this).

It’s nice that the USGA apologized on Monday (sort of) for the confusion, but that is literally closing the barn door after all of the horses got out.  You can say they avoided a fiasco (Jamie Diaz’ piece is a good read) but this was self-inflicted.  You simply can’t tell a player we “might” penalize you for something that a rules official said was fine (once the official cleared him, this should have been the end of it).  Johnson’s fellow competitors all thought it wasn’t a penalty, so this idea of protecting the field is nonsensical.

In the meantime, we can only hope that next year the USGA will take my initial call to action, and cease to exist.  They serve no purpose that can’t be handled by other entities and their relevance to average golfers like myself is zero.

As for FOX, their coverage is still miles below CBS at their worst (the 3-man booth interviews are terrible, there’s way too much dead air, Joe Buck needs to learn how to make a point and punt to his analysts, dumping Saturday off to FS1 for regular season baseball is absurd at best), but their use of Trackman is very good (CBS could do this tomorrow- would REALLY like to see this at the PGA Championship).  If you take FOX production and put it with an NBC/Golf Channel crew you’d have something (and there’s no way NBC would have dumped US Open coverage on the weekend to a cable outlet).

 

The US Open on Fox Drinking Game You’ll Need (2016 Edition)

He's back.  Prepare accordingly.

He’s back. Prepare accordingly.

After a debut that would be charitably described as poor, Fox Sports will air next week’s US Open (after next week only 10 more years of this dirge) from Oakmont CC in western Pennsylvania.  Greg Norman is no longer their main analyst, however Paul Azinger will step into the booth alongside Joe Buck.  I suppose this will be a good time to point out they’ve never worked together covering a major championship (Azinger did, however, work at ABC/ESPN in a 3-man booth with Nick Faldo and Mike Tirico and a 2-man booth with Tirico).  Here’s their new promo…see if you notice anything:

Other than Spieth and McIlroy, none of the people they showed are playing.  So the ad seems to say “tune in and see none of these golfers” which sounds a brilliant idea.  While the theme music was really good, I had something in mind more appropriate to their broadcasting expertise, or how I picture people going to their production meetings.

In that vein, if you tune in to watch, you’re going to need something to keep you going, and your faithful scribe has just the thing you need…a drinking game!  Yup, I’m dusting off the old and tired hack-worthy bit and creating your very own U.S. Open on Fox Drinking Game (the Oakmont 2016 version).  As always, drink responsibly, but if you don’t, then at least have a sober friend drive you to your AA meeting because drinking and driving isn’t cool.

Take 1 drink (sip) every time the following happen:

-Someone on the air refers to it as a tournament, and not a championship.

-Joe Buck correctly pronounces Centenario.

-A retired former Pittsburgh-area pro athlete is shown at the course wearing his team’s apparel.

-Any mentions of Tiger Woods during the broadcast.

-Any mentions of Spieth/McIlroy/Day/Mickelson during weekend coverage if they miss the cut.

-Any mentions of the Stimpmeter and how the greens are faster during Oakmont’s annual member-guest event.

-Any mentions of Paul Azinger’s 2008 Ryder Cup captaincy.

-Any mentions of Donald Trump.

-Any time there is more than 5 seconds of dead air.

Take 2 drinks (sips) every time any of the following happen:

-Fox mid-identifies what hole they’re showing.

-2 or more people are speaking at the same time on-air.

-Any mentions of Greg Norman.

-Mentions of Ernie Els winning in 1994 or Angel Cabrera winning in 2007.

-Mentions of Brad Faxon’s Ryder Cup record.

-Any mention of Tiger Woods and 18 majors (or for that matter, 18 majors).

-Any mentions of The Golf Boys video.

Take 3 drinks (sips) every time any of the following happen:

-Fox critiques the USGA course setup.

-Anyone on-air calls the USGA a group of idiots who couldn’t organize a 2-car parade.

-Any mentions of Mickelson’s gambling habits or his settlement with the SEC.

-Any mentions of Deer Antler Spray.

-Any mentions about OJ Simpson’s Bronco chase during the 2nd round of the 1994 US Open at Oakmont.

Take 4 drinks (sips) every time any of the following happen:

-Anyone says “Mike Davis is a turd wrangling asshole” on-air.

-Someone asks “why are we covering this event?” on-air.

-Anyone says “you know what would make this better…glow-pucks!”

-Someone on-air refers to the local area as a cesspool of inbred hayseeds and rubes.

-Anyone on-air references Benghazi.

-Someone says that the putting greens are too slow.

-Joe Buck is drinking out of a paper bag on-air.

-Joe Buck is reading tweets from Dan Jenkins about Sergio Garcia on-air with a fake Spanish accent.

-A post-tournament apology followed by “well folks, only 10 more years of us covering this event!”

-“Joe Buck has taken ill. Filling in for him will be GUS JOHNSON OH MY GAWD!!!”

However, no drinks for the following:

-Mentions of Johnny Miller’s 63.

-Any shots of people waiving those yellow towels that Pittsburgh people think is a thing.

-Random former Pittsburgh-area athletes on-air.

-Any mentions of Fox shows.

 

 

 

Your 2020 PGA Tour Schedule

I can see the 2020 PGA Tour Schedule from here.

I can see the 2020 PGA Tour Schedule from here.

I know that it’s 4 years out, but seeing the raft of players (almost all men) opting out of going to the Olympics, something has to be done to the PGA Tour schedule for the 2020 Summer Olympics, and I am that someone doing something (if by something you mean coming up with a workable solution for the professional tours and the networks that cover them).  The game worked far too hard to get on the Olympic program only to have it removed because of disinterest from the male professional tours.

If the PGA and European Tours don’t do something, the IOC is going to bounce golf off the Olympic program tout de suite (remember bowling and softball?) and the sport is going to lose an opportunity to grow the game that it will never get back.   Compare this with the other sport added for Rio 2016 (rugby sevens) where players from other codes/sports are trying to get on their country’s team for this event.  Something had to be done, and as they say, I was the person to do it.

It took 2 double scotches  (from which genius flowed), 45 minutes, and a spiral-bound notebook of notes, but I’ve come up with a plan that reduces travel for the players, doesn’t overload any point in the year, creates several mini-swings, and gives them a reasonable schedule and a 2-week participation window.  I moved a few things around in order to make this work, but in the end, it adds an event to the LPGA schedule and creates a month-long “season” in Hawaii when you start the Champions Tour with a January tournament the week of Jan 23rd-26th.  I’ve also created a joint PGA-LPGA event where they’re playing 4-ball (or 2-man best ball).

The other thing you do is even out the big events.  By pushing the US PGA Championship to the end of February, you create a reason for players to play those West Coast swing events.  March doesn’t have a major but it does have 2 WGC events with different formats than traditional stroke play.   April has the Masters, May has the Players Championship, June the US Open, July the Open Championship, and August the Olympic tournament.

The other thing you’ll notice is that there is a Stableford event, 2 team events, and a match play event.  It’s designed to hopefully help the US be better prepared for the Olympics and the Ryder Cup.  So on that note, here we go.

2020 PGA Tour Schedule

Jan 2nd-5th: Sony Open. It flips with the other Hawaii event to get a full-field event as the start of the year.

Jan 9th-12th: LPGA/PGA Tour 4-ball championship in Hawaii (1st LPGA full field event will be Jan 16th-19th in Hawaii (the following week)- moving up from April date).  Event can be aired in prime time in the US and gives the LPGA a nice shop window.  Have 2-player teams (1 man, 1 woman); with daylight an issue I’d limit it to no more than 30 teams.  You could either have a “fantasy” draft (mine involves a bottle of Glenlivet 25 year, 2 rocks glasses and Christina Hendricks but that’s not important), or randomly draw teams.  Teams play alternate shot on Thursdays and Saturdays, and foursomes (2-player best ball) on Fridays and Sundays.

Jan 16th-19th: Phoenix Open (flipping for this year only).

Jan 23rd-26th: Torrey Pines/Farmers Insurance Open

Jan 29th-Feb 1st: Career Builder/Palm Springs (Wed-Sat to avoid the Super Bowl on 2/2).

Feb 6th-9th: LA Open/Riviera (2 hour drive from Palm Springs)

Feb 13th-16th: AT&T Pebble Beach Open

Feb 20th-23rd: US PGA Championship (already confirmed to be held at Harding Park in San Francisco)- it’s 2 hours by car from Pebble Beach.  If you look carefully, you’ll see a five-week California swing that culminates in a major championship (the first of the year which puts a nice end to the West Coast swing.

Feb 27th-March 1st: Honda Classic/PGA National

March 5th-8th: WGC Team Championship at Streamsong Resort (take 2-man teams by country).  Yes- Doral is no longer being used as the PGA Tour has opted to move the event to Mexico (this is for one year only). Streamsong is an hour from Orlando and similar to Torrey Pines, has 2 (soon to be 3) courses.  Take 48 2-man teams by country; cut to 28 teams after 2 days for final 2 rounds.

March 12th-15th: Bay Hill Event (Orlando). This allows pros a “home stand” since many live in Orlando area.

March 19th-22nd: Valspar @ Copperhead/Tampa (Tampa is 2 hours from Orlando.

March 25th-29th: WGC Matchplay at Seminole GC (extend Florida swing, easier travel for players).  Several players are already members.  You have the Tour in Central Florida 4 weeks running which will cut down on travel for many of the players based out of this area.  If not Seminole, there are several tracks in the Orlando area who could host events (Windermere for one).

April 2nd-5th: New Orleans (hopefully better weather than what they’ve had the last few years)

April 9th-12th: Masters Tournament (falls over Easter weekend- they’ll manage)

April 16th-19th: Hilton Head/Heritage

April 23rd-26th: Charlotte/Wells Fargo Championship

(April then becomes a southern swing of sorts)

April 29th-May 3rd: Players Championship (a week earlier for this year only)

May 7th-10th: Houston Open (for giving up the pre-Masters slot, they’ll get Mothers Day weekend and be the start of the Texas Swing).

May 14th-17th: San Antonio/Valero

May 21st-24th: Dallas

May 28th-31st: Fort Worth

(With four events over consecutive weeks in Texas, the tour can and should market this as the Texas Swing).  Ideally, the winner of the Texas swing would get an additional exemption year.

June 4th-7th: Columbus OH/Memorial Tournament

June 11th-14th: FedEx/Memphis St. Jude

June 18th-21st: US Open (Winged Foot; NY)

June 25th-28th: Travelers (Hartford/Cromwell CT)-moved this event up since it’s only 2 hours by car from Winged Foot to cut down on travel.

July 2nd-5th: John Deere Classic (giving them a July 4th spot but keeping their “week before the Open” slot).

July 9th-12th: Open Championship (British Open). Moving the Open Championship up a week.

July 16th-19th: Wyndham Championship (moving them up in the order for this year to try to separate the Canadian Open).

July 23rd-26th:  Greenbrier

July 30th-August 2nd: Canadian Open (Vancouver). Cutoff for the 2020 Olympic tournament. By having the event in Vancouver (and not Toronto/Glen Abbey), it’s an easier flight to Tokyo for the players going to the Olympics and will enable players to over and participate in the Opening Ceremony.  West Coast means that the tournament can have a prime time (east coast) finish.  Ideally, the IOC will charter a plane for players and caddies.  I would move the women’s Canadian Open to Vancouver as well (Shaughnessy G&CC can host over consecutive weeks and has already hosted the men’s Canadian Open).   Vancouver has a heavy Asian-pacific influence so there’s plenty of marketing that can be done.  It’s a temperate climate and gives Vancouver time to promote the event (they did a great job with the 2010 Olympics).

August 6-9, August 13-16: 2020 Olympics (if the sport is going to be serious they can’t run events concurrent with the Olympic tournament proper.  The dates show golf as August 11-14 so there can be no other pro tours running concurrently).  I’ll go with what others have said; it needs to be a 2-man best ball competition.  Allow up to 2 teams per country.

August 6-9: Opposite field event (top 5 get spots in the Barclays/FedEx Cup playoffs)/Reno.

August 13-16: NO EVENT

August 20-23: WGC Stableford (moved to Cherry Creek in Denver).  I chose Denver because it’s easier for travel purposes, and it’ll be a slightly shorter flight coming back from Tokyo.  Cherry Creek has hosted the BMW Championship and major championships.  See next week.

August 27-30: Barclays @ Firestone GC (FedEx Cup Playoffs week 1). For giving up their spot which would have fallen around the Olympics, Firestone takes the FedEx Cup Playoffs week 1 spot.  The New York area got the US Open so they aren’t being shut out.  With the additional spots being allocated, the first week will go from 125 to 135 players, but the cut after the Barclays will still be to the top 70.

September 4-7: Deutche Bank/Boston (Week 2). No change; they keep their Labor Day slot.

September 10-13: BMW Championship (Congressional) Week 3. You’ll notice that I didn’t have a spot for the Quicken Loans event.  For them giving up their slot, they will get the BMW Championship.  It gets the tournament out of the meat of the DC summer and for Congressional, their club isn’t being torn to bits in the middle of summer and doesn’t force the members to lose access over the summer.  If they don’t want it, I’d look at Caves Valley, RTJ, or TPC Potomac (in that order).

September 17-20: Tour Championship (Atlanta).

September 24-27: BYE

October 2-4: Ryder Cup (Whistling Straits/WI)

What you see is a workable schedule that is practical, cuts down on the workload and travel, and won’t alienate sponsors.  It creates a window for the Olympics and ensures that golf will be able to stay on the Olympic program.  As for 2024, I might be biased but the one city that is probably best suited to host it (and has hosted it successfully) is Los Angeles.  They have facilities already built along with infrastructure, and a climate that is suitable (and for golf, they’ve a host of options).  I lived in Southern California during the 1984 Olympics…people went on vacations and left town, and it worked out great.

2016 can go to hell

At the risk of being repetitive, 2016 has, to put it politely, sucked.

And to put a shit panini on top of the turd sandwich that has represented the year, this morning I found out that Gord Downie, lead singer of The Tragically Hip, has terminal brain cancer.  He’s 52, which puts him slightly older than me, but not much.  Unless you’re from Canada, the odds are you’ve never heard of them, and that’s okay.

The outpouring of love from the number of Canadian journalists who, like me, love their music has been a tonic of sorts.

What David Bowie and Prince did (write and perform some truly breathtaking music and were deserved legends), this band that’s been together for 30+ years did as well but on their own scale.  The ownership that Minnesotans had for Prince (and I’ve always respected that he stayed in Minnesota) translates, on some level, to The Tragically Hip.  They were ours.  You could say they were odd, quirky or any number of other things.  They don’t have anywhere near the number of fans as Bowie and Prince do, but that’s okay.  They spoke to us because they were one of us.

They never achieved any success of note in the US, because their music didn’t translate to American audiences (WTMD will “occasionally” play one of their songs but otherwise they don’t exist on American radio).  Explaining David Milgaard or Bill Barilko, and how these subjects became the impetus for songs, is hard to explain.  And yet, the songs that deal with these subjects aren’t unapproachable.  They’re quite good.  I still remember the first game I attended at the new Air Canada Centre in 1999, fearful that Maple Leaf Gardens had been replaced by some soulless thing.  Hearing a slew of Tragically Hip songs during warm-ups combined with the kind of loud support I remembered (the Leafs were coming off of a Conference Final appearance that spring).

I saw them in 1987 for the first time; an 18-year old university student who thought they had an interesting name so I went with some class mates to see them perform in one of the local clubs.  They were different; they were still doing a lot of covers back then but they had their own songs as well.

They appeared on Saturday Night Live in 1995 and were introduced by fellow Canadian Dan Akroyd.  That was a big deal; they never had that top-10 U.S. radio friendly hit that might get attention (to this day, if I hear one of their songs on American radio I have to double-check to make sure it’s not my MP3 player).  They had their own unique sound, and were unchanged for 30+ years.  They were from Kingston, Ontario and proudly so.  It’s funny reading about people who remember seeing Downie or some of the other guys in the band walking around town and would talk to him as if it were no big deal, which sounds like something he’d do.

I’ve seen them live upwards of 30 times; they have such a heavy catalogue of songs that no two shows are going to sound alike.  Here’s them performing at Woodstock 1999 (which was a complete gong show of an event).

All the best, Gord and thanks for all the wonderful concerts and all that you’ve done.

 

On Not Playing and Other Frustrating Things

So far, it has to be said that 2016 has, to put it politely, sucked.  For a variety of reasons I’d prefer not to discuss I’ve yet to swing a club this year (my last trip to the range was just before New Year’s back when we were enjoying that oddly warm weather around Christmas), which has left me taking advantage of my gym membership to retain something resembling fitness.

So rather than enjoy the sodden fairways that we’re looking at (with all of this rain it’s understandable), I’ve been trapped in the bubble of going to the gym 1-2 times a week armed with the flurry of fitness tips and information that the various golf publications churn out.  Most of it, for what it’s worth, seems to contradict the articles from 1-2 years ago (and wow is that ever helpful).

While we’re on that subject, when did Golf Digest turn into BuzzFeed golf?  Their website is little more than a series of badly-written and not-at-all-mobile friendly listicles (which shouldn’t be a thing but somehow…they are) combined with pin-up photos of LPGA players (what next- their spin on the ESPN bodies issue) wearing anything but golf clothing.  I have nothing against the female body (I happen to quite like it if we’re being honest) but I don’t need Golf Digest trying to be Maxim or FHM.  Yes- there are some very talented women on the LPGA Tour who don’t get 1/20th of the media attention that their counterparts on the PGA Tour get.  It would be nice to see their talent the principal focus, and not how well they look wearing a bikini.

I do enjoy the Undercover Tour Pro articles in Golf Digest; it falls under the request I make of magazines….it’s called Tell Me Something I Don’t Know.  If you’re not following @secrettourpro on Twitter, you should.  I have a pretty good idea of who he is, but there’s no reason to out him.  His candor has been enjoyable.  Jack Nicklaus’ one-pagers are a good reminder that he still knows more than anyone else out there (and at some point, the tours are going to heed his 30-year plea to roll the ball back and we won’t need 8,000 yard courses).

Oh, and if you have auto-play videos on your website, I hope a giant bear comes into your house and eats your arm off (looking at you, Golf.com).

So with my gym visits being the only interaction, I’ve begun to notice that there are some rather distinct and rather odd people at the gym.  While I’m hardly a paragon of physical fitness, I do make an effort to work out (scotch does count as a suitable post-workout drink, right?).  With a bad knee I can’t do a lot of running, but I try to do the best I can.  However, the people at the gym make for, well, strange and inappropriate behavior that has run amok.  Shall we point these people out?

1) The double-park.  Parking spots aren’t the biggest, but that doesn’t mean you can, or should, park in 2 spots.  It’s almost always a giant SUV that is roughly the size of my first apartment, and 70% of the time it’s a woman with a yoga mat.  I mean, you could do a yoga routine in the damn car, so why double-park?

Sure looks like a compact car to me- maybe take 3 spots!

Sure looks like a compact car to me- maybe take 3 spots!

2) The fashionista.  Mostly guys who are head-to-toe in matching stuff.  One guy I see far too often is head-to-toe in Atlanta Falcons stuff (hat, tshirt, sweatshirt, shorts, socks).  I keep meaning to ask him if he’s aware that this isn’t Atlanta.   You’d think it would be women that would be the equivalent of what Men in Blazers call “Full Kit Wankers”, and you’d be wrong.  It’s the dude-bro types who are wearing Under Armour (or Nike) from head-to-toe, and my guess is that they aren’t being sponsored by Under Armour (the golf equivalent is the 25-handicapper who has a tour staff bag but couldn’t break 100 playing Fairway Hills from the First Tee set of tees).  A sub-set of this are men who wear compression shorts (or bike shorts) and that’s it.  Great- we all wanted to see that.  I wear compression shorts UNDER actual loose fitting gym shorts, because nobody wants to see me in a pair of those things.

3) Inappropriate nudity. I’ve about given up on using the locker rooms unless it’s to answer nature’s call, because inevitably, there will be a group of men hanging around, fully nude, talking as if they’re re-creating a Dockers commercial but without the triple-pleated comfort of Dockers pants.  Just picture these nit-wits hanging brain in a locker room, and you get it.  Don’t turn away…look at it.  LOOK AT IT!  Don’t worry because odds are they’ll talk to you.  Shouldn’t this sort of thing be illegal?

4) The cross-fit bros.  My gym is not a cross-fit gym, and yet these cross-fit bros hang out (always in groups), and by hanging out, I mean they spend more time shooting the breeze than actually working out.  I don’t really get this (which is why I’m not a cross-fit bro), and it’s annoying as all get out because it’s how you get one machine taken up for the better part of 30 minutes (while the machine is being used for maybe 1/4 of the time because nobody knows where Kyle, or Todd, or Hunter, or Logan is).  They work out for 4 hours but spend 3 1/2 of those hours talking among each other.  But they’re very good at giving each other high fives and what someone described to me as “bro-hugs” so that’s been fun to watch.  They also like to encourage each other…loudly.  Luckily our gym has a ban on using chalk; otherwise I’d have to dust myself off before leaving.

All using one machine because they have nothing else to do.

All using one machine because they have nothing else to do.

5) The drink carriers.  I don’t get this.  Our gym has drinking fountains that work and even have a water station where you can get a cup of ice water.  Plus, the gym is indoor and climate controlled, so we’re not out in the middle of the desert in July.  And yet, you have at least half of these people carrying around something to drink.  The water bottle people are bad enough, mostly because they end up leaving their crap all over or will forget their water bottle because their brains have shriveled up like a raisin.  There’s also the people who drink…stuff.  I’m not talking about Gatorade or Powerade; I’m talking about the people (and you know who you are) who drink…stuff they made up that is made from powders you buy at GNC or some bizarro website.  In these containers that look like they are used for storing bodily fluids.  These liquids are in colors that aren’t natural.  The smell is a medley of vomit, asparagus pee, flop sweat, flatulence from Guy Fieri, and just a hint of Thunder Muscle (look it up).  I like to think I work out pretty hard, and I’m able to handle driving back home and having something to drink at home or on the way to work without grossing people out.  I even see people with Starbucks (my gym is next to a Starbucks) coffee.  How can that possibly be refreshing?

Dear god, why?  Don't. Just. Don't.

Dear god, why? Don’t. Just. Don’t.

6) The mobile phone users.  At my gym there are numerous signs about not using mobile phones, and yet- you see people (of all ages) on their phones.  Is it really that difficult to say to whoever called them ‘let me step away’ and then walk somewhere out of earshot of everyone?  I had someone run into me (physically run into me) because they were so engrossed in their phone that they didn’t see me (and given I’m not anorexic and not exactly inconspicuous).  It wouldn’t have been so bad except it was some old man, and not some clueless hipster.

7) The space-challenged.  Our gym has open space which is great for doing exercises on a Swiss ball or lunges.  Inevitably, there’s this one older jack-hole who insists on getting as close as he can to people while doing whatever it is that he does.  If there’s 8 urinals in a row, and only 1 is being used, he’s the guy who will get right next to the one urinal being used.  And then pass gas.  If you’re in your mid-50’s like this dill-weed, trying to grow a hipster beard doesn’t make you look like the Trivago guy.  It makes you look even more disturbing.

8) The TV watchers.  Our gym has two rows of televisions in the main gym area, which is great while you’re on the recumbent bike or on a treadmill.  If you’re using equipment, and you stop to watch while people are waiting for you to finish so they can use the equipment, you’re a wart on the ass of society.  The TV’s are on the local networks, CNN, ESPN (if they’re showing scores and highlights it’s not unbearable, but their army of talking heads makes me want to take a hammer to random things), HGTV (never know when the inspiration to remodel your kitchen is going to happen) and Fox News Channel (it’s mid-May so their “War on Christmas” coverage should start any day now).

So yes, I’m the quiet guy who does his routine, doesn’t talk to anyone, and tries to finish as quickly as possible.

Lastly, a relic.  If you’ve watched AMC’s “Halt and Catch Fire” it’s a fantastic series, mostly because of the music.  Here’s an example:

 

Hopefully I’ll see you out on the links fairly soon.  In the meantime, hit ’em straight.

My Solstice Survival Experiences (and why you should consider playing)

Now that winter seems like it’s behind us for good, we start getting into the meat of golf season.  Like you, I love watching the West Coast swing, and even the Florida swing can give us that good-vibes feeling of what’s to come (before the Masters tells us it’s time to tee it up).

Part of what I love about golf is that every time you tee it up, you’re testing yourself.  Today might be that worst round possible (which is why I suggest keeping airplane bottles in your golf bag), or it might be that rare day when it all comes together.  Or, if you’re like most of us, it’s somewhere in between.  But for the most part, standing on that first tee is still a thing of wonderment because we don’t know what will lies ahead for us over the next 3 1/2-4 hours (hopefully).

In that vein, if you really want to test yourself and you’re up for it, the Solstice Survival is something you should consider doing at least once.  It’s put on by Golfstyles which is one of those magazines you see in the grill rooms and pro shops at some golf courses (I subscribe so I don’t have to “borrow” a copy).  For the uninitiated, the Solstice Survival is 54 holes (3 full rounds) of continuous play golf (these events are always during the week- the only people on the course are your fellow competitors); you start at sunrise and finish after you putt out after your 54th hole of the day which is usually close to sunset, and it’s a competition so there’s no gimmes or mulligans.  You play the same course for all 3 rounds, with the same group (hopefully you get a decent group of guys- unless you have your own foursome in which case good for you!).  For what it’s worth, I have no association with Golfstyles, and while they’re welcome to share this article, they weren’t consulted on this and anything I write is my own opinion (and if you’ve met me you know I’m stubborn as a mule and not prone to be easily swayed).

I played two years (both times at Musket Ridge), and once things (body parts, limbs) start to work normally again, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.  So you’re sitting there, reading this (and my, what great taste you have in golf blogs), and you’re wondering what sane person would do this (you’d be surprised), and what the hell am I getting myself into?  The day isn’t cheap (you’re looking at anywhere from $240-$300 for the day depending on where you play at, but that does include food and drink and a decent gift bag), and you’ll be out of pocket until late evening (well past sunset), but isn’t that the idea?  Maybe you’ve played 36 holes before, but have you ever played 54 holes in one day?  Sure- this sounds like a great idea when it’s winter and you’re weeks from even thinking about seeing courses open, but what about the actual day?  Read on.

Both times, the day starts around 3:00 a.m., which allows me time to get up, get myself put together, get dressed, take care of the dogs, and try to be on the road by 4:00 a.m. and allow me an hour to make the trek to Musket Ridge, which Google Maps says will take 49 minutes without traffic (you’ll want to have directions and driving times figured out the night before).  This will allow time to stop for a coffee and still get to the course and loosen up.  Despite the DMV having terrible traffic, at this hour it’s manageable.  It’s also dark which means you’re likely sharing the highway with truckers and other early-risers along with your fellow die-hard golfers.

Pulling into the parking lot while it’s still dark can be a bit off-putting if you’re not used to it, but being someone who prefers to play early it’s old hat.  However, the parking lot is quickly filling up, which is not usually the case (the event does a shotgun start so everyone starts at the same time).  If you’re smart, you brought plenty of balls (more on this later), and you’ve got plenty of sunscreen, bug spray, and hopefully and extra glove or two.  The event provides refreshments on the course so no worries on that front but I do have a bottle of swing juice to get me going in the morning.

After a quick stop at the registration desk to pick up my goody bag (2 dozen balls of a brand I don’t play but I’ll end up re-gifting, a couple highball glasses and a too-small golf shirt), I then carry my bag over and find the cart I’ll be in.  Everyone’s doing the same thing- carrying their bag around looking to see where your assigned cart is.  Many will then hit the range to warm up; some will seemingly try to hit a full bucket (keep in mind it’s still dark), while others will hit a couple balls and work on their chipping and putting.

Looking at my watch, it’s time to make a quick stop in the washroom, pop a couple ibuprofen, and put some analgesic cream on my back and shoulders (it’ll help loosen them up for now- I know that by sunset I’ll be in a world of pain again but it’s worth it).  It’s also time to take one last look at my smart phone; part of playing 54 holes of continuous golf is that there’s no time to check e-mail or take calls.  It’ll all get handled later tonight or tomorrow morning.  I’m sure that 20 years ago, this didn’t seem like a big deal but try going a day of being off the grid, unreachable, and out of pocket.  I can see many folks freaking out at the idea, but that’s the point.  Worry about work tomorrow.  Today, it’s all about golf and lots of it.

After getting a quick speech from the Golfstyles folks and the home pro, just as the sun starts coming up and there’s enough light (or close enough) for play,  everyone gets into their carts and heads out to their assigned starting hole.  It may be cool at the time, but both times it’s been warm by mid-day (the first year it got up into the low 90’s, the next year it was in the low 80’s).

On the first hole, there’s the usual introductions and hope of a good day out for everyone before we tee off.  At this point, I’m just hoping to make decent contact.  The first year I played the nerves got to me in a big way, as I hit a worm-burner that went dead left and put me on my way to a nice triple bogey to start the round.  Few things stir the soul quite like “just made a snowman on a par 5, and I’ve got another 53 holes to go”.

Hopefully, you start to rectify things if you got off to a bad start, or even better- if you got off to a good start you’re having your share of birdies and pars.  Since this is a “count ’em all, play by the book” event, there’s no gimmes, so that 18 inch putt to save bogey has to be holed (and I swear it looks like that hole is about 1/2 the size it should be).  Seems simple until you’re putting on greens that have quickened up since the sun has come out and you’re not exactly Brad Faxon with the flat-stick.  It’s starting to warm up so that windshirt or sweater vest you started the day with has surely come off.  There’s no free drops if you hit one in the woods or in a hazard; if you can’t find it you use the lost ball rule, if it’s a hazard  you proceed based on the USGA rule book (should probably have a copy in your bag).

By this time, you’re putting out on your 18th hole of the day; normally you’d be shaking hands but you’ve got another 36 holes to go!  So now it’s time to play that hole you started your day on…again.  But now you know where everything is so this time will be that much better (or so you think).  The way that the Solstice Survival works is that when you play the 18th hole (of the golf course) during your second round is when you stop for lunch.  If you’ve ever seen a NASCAR or Formula 1 pit stop, then you get the idea of the process.  You pull up in your golf cart and go through a buffet line (it’s burgers, hot dogs and sandwiches) and then you eat it in the cart and then tee off on the 1st hole.  Ideally at this point you’re at the half-way point of your day.  I usually take this brief break to pop a couple more ibuprofen.

They do have beverage stations and beverage carts (and a couple washrooms that are nicer than a port-o-let) going around the course so staying hydrated isn’t an issue (nor is having to pee), however there’s no beer until you’re done for the day so if you were wanting the revival that can only come from shotgunning some terrible American piss-water lager, you’ll have to wait until you finish for the day unless you have any airplane bottles stashed in your bag.

Of the three rounds, I’ve always felt that the last 9 holes of the second round is the hardest.  It’s in the heat of the day, and you’re starting to get fatigued and you’ve still got 19-27 holes left to play.  Both times I’ve played I’ve carded some scary numbers.  It’s also where you can struggle in terms of mental concentration; the first round might feel like a regular round, but most people who play 36 will stop for lunch before going back out.  Now you’re 28-36 holes into the day, and fatigue can be a factor.

The third round is hopefully when your second (or third) wind kicks in.  They do move the tees up for the third round so that long par 4 you’ve seen twice previously becomes a bit shorter.  You’ve got the hole locations down (hopefully) and hopefully by now you’ve got a good feel for the break of the greens.  Hopefully your muscles aren’t sore at this point, because while the tee boxes are moved up (the equivalent of going from the blue tees to the white tees at most courses), by now it’s afternoon and the shadows are starting to get a bit longer.

This is where I’d pop a couple more Ibuprofen and try to maintain focus and maybe have one of those energy shot drinks if I was feeling a bit sluggish.  When you hear touring pros talk about the mental concentration factor, this is what they mean.  You’ve held it together for 36 holes, and you’ve got one more round to go.  Sure- you know the course but you’ve got to focus amid some possible physical fatigue to keep making good swings for one more round.  At a minimum, you’ve got to keep from having a blow-up hole (and being someone who has turned the blow-up hole into an art form I speak from experience) which means no 3 putts and trying to keep it somewhat straight off the tee.

At some point late in the day, as the sun is setting you’re going to putt out on that 54th hole of the day, and you’re going to feel an odd mix of excitement, fatigue, and maybe (just maybe) accomplishment.  That you pushed yourself to the limit on one of the longest days of the year and played 14-15 hours of non-stop golf.

After that, it’s a cart ride back to the club house to sign your scorecards, and enjoy some well-deserved 55th hole refreshments.  At some point you’re probably changing shoes (and hopefully socks) which is going to feel oddly refreshing.  You’ll have a buffet dinner, and while you’re eating the Golfstyles staff will have tabulated things up, award prizes for low gross and low net scores, and after (hopefully) a bit of regaling one another with stories about the day, you’ll load your clubs back in the car (likely in the dark by now), and head home, where the rest of the world will surely be waiting.

If you’re a little bit sore the next morning (or a lot), it’s okay, because you’re sore from doing something we all love, and that’s the best kind of soreness there is.

WHAT TO BRING WITH YOU (this list is hardly complete but it’s a few things that will make that longest day of golf a bit more bearable:

-Plenty of balls.  Think about your typical usage during a round.  Triple it and add an extra sleeve just in case.

-Sunscreen. Apply before you start and re-apply mid-day.  Trust me.

-Bug spray. See above.

-Extra socks, extra pair of shoes, extra hat, extra golf shirt (if it’s supposed to be dry you probably don’t need the extra pair of shoes or shirt but a lot of people like to change socks and/or shirt after a round or two).

-A comfortable golf shirt.  For me this means something that’s a bit looser since the fitted look on me means something resembling a sausage casing.

-Ibuprofen, Acetaminophen, or your OTC pain reliever of choice.   Don’t overdo it but a couple ibuprofen can help.

-Extra glove or two (and if rain is in the forecast rain gloves, umbrella, and rain jacket).

-Sharpie pen (to mark your balls if you haven’t already done so).

-Ziploc bag (in case of wet weather it protects the scorecard).

-First aid kit (hopefully you don’t need it but it’s better to be safe than sorry).

-Your sense of humor.  It’s going to be a long day.  I played with a dour, humorless dolt one year.  Don’t be that guy.  We’re not playing for a million bucks and we’re paying to be here.  It beats working.  Enjoy the day.

-A rangefinder (if they’re permissible- ask them).  Many golfers have the GPS watches.  If they’re allowed and you have one, by all means wear it.

-Patience.  The course will be full with your fellow competitors and it’s a shotgun start.  Since it’s a count-everything event pace of play isn’t going to be lightning fast.  Where possible try to play ready golf (within the rules); i.e. if you need to pee either tee off first or last.

-A USGA rulebook.  If you’re not sure about an issue, play two balls, record both scores and have the Golfstyles folks settle it.

 

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