Tag: lake presidential golf course

The 2017 SGIC Plays Santa Awards You Didn’t Want

Screw cookies and milk. I prefer bourbon. And a dozen ProV1’s.

What a year it’s been in golf.  Until things went completely sideways for me, I was set to make my personal goal of playing in every month of a calendar year (so I’ll have to settle for 10 months).  Sergio won a major, Lexi got robbed of one through a call-in rules violation, Jordan Spieth won a crazy Open Championship, Justin Thomas won a major and the FedEx Cup, the US won the Presidents Cup, Lexi won the CME Race to the Globe, and there’s optimism of another comeback from Tiger Woods (he fired his coach last night so there’s that).

Breakfast of Champions. Accept no substitutes.

If it’s late December and close to Christmas, it’s time for my annual Single Golfer In Cart (SGIC) plays Santa day!  Unfortunately I can’t claim it has the cult following of Drew Magary’s annual Haters Guide To The Williams Sonoma Catalog.

After having given this much thought (a few glasses of whiskey), I’ve put on my Santa costume while Santa is delivering presents to good boys and girls and have decided to grant some wishes throughout the world of golf (a mix of local folks in the DMV and on the pro tours).  These gifts aren’t returnable, by the way.  Suck it up.

For Jason Day you’re getting a copy of “Pace of Play and You” which I’d politely suggest you put to use.  I know you’ve had a rough year but you make early 2000’s Sergio Garcia look fast.

For Golf Channel, Santa is giving you the rights to air “Dead Solid Perfect” which remains the finest golf movie ever made.  Every time I have to see Matt Damon or Shia Leboeuf swing a golf club I fear for my own swing.  And seriously, can you air these films unedited?  You’re a cable channel so you’re not under some FCC bullshit decency coda.  Please.

Lake Presidential Golf Club, you’re getting improved playing conditions.  I know you made some improvements but some trusted spies say it’s still not great.  Earn that top-10 “best you can play’ ranking Golfweek keeps giving you.

Phil Mickelson, Santa has decided to give you that US Open win you keep asking for as long as you agree to go immediately into the booth when you finish playing and agree to be the same candid self you are now.

Golfweek Magazine, I’m getting you a new crop of raters.  Your “best you can play” lists are fairly stagnant.  Also, start showing actual reviews and speak to the methodology.

Worthington Manor Golf Course, Santa is giving you intermediate rough.  Use it.  You’re a great track, but seriously- embrace intermediate rough.

The LPGA was very good this year so you’re getting a few things.   Santa is getting you your own video game.  Also, some of your tournaments are getting new formats (a 6-hole event, a 2-player team event, a Stableford event, and a match play event or two).  Lastly, you’re getting a partnership with Top Golf to help get young people exposed to your products.

Timbers at Troy golf course, Santa is giving you improved drainage.  Your course still drains at the rate an 85-year old man pees.  The new bunkers look great.  Do something about the drainage.  I’ve played there on dry mornings when we haven’t had rain for 2 weeks and it’ll still be squishy fairways.  Or stop overwatering.  Seriously.  Do something about it.

The PGA Tour is getting a map of the DMV from Santa.  You’ll notice Virginia, DC and Maryland.  Look at the population, average income, and ask yourselves why you insist on jobbing this area as often as you do.  I mean, the LPGA doesn’t get closer than Williamsburg or Atlantic City.  The area event has constantly been plagued by a litany of issues, and yet every year people show up in large numbers.

The Guys Who Call In To Report Rules Violations are getting a lump of coal, a beating with a bag of hammers and a kick in the groin.  Stop it.  You’re not a rules official, so just stick to watching.

Brandel Chamblee is getting his own “hot talk” or talking head show from Santa.  First guest is Jason Duffner.  I don’t mind Brandel being a bit of a bomb thrower; it’s better than everyone unafraid to have a controversial opinion.

The USGA and the R&A are both getting pocket dictionaries from Santa.  If you turn to the page I’ve flagged, please read the definition for the word Bifurcation.  Study it.  Memorize it.  Live it.  Roll back the ball for the US Open and Open Championship.  The women don’t need this, nor do 99% of golfers.  And while you’re doing that, we’re getting rid of the OB rule for us mortals.  Play it as a lateral hazard.  No more walking back and hitting 3 from the tee.

Last, and certainly not least, Santa is giving local courses a short winter, a good growing season, and a 2018 playing season that runs into December.  And for all of the marshals, teaching professionals, superintendents and their staffs, Santa wishes all of you a very Merry Christmas (or the holiday of your choosing) and a prosperous 2018.


The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame continues to ignore some highly influential bands and everything that came out of the 80’s New Wave era.  Duran Duran, The Cure, The Smiths, New Order, and Depeche Mode hold up incredibly well.  Three decades later you still have kids ‘discovering’ this music.  At some point they’re going to run out of mediocre old white dude bands and start to induct the New Wave era bands.  Now would be an ideal time.

Lake Presidential Course Review

I took an early start to the Labor Day weekend with a trek down to Upper Marlboro and a round at Lake Presidential Golf Club, which is part of a larger residential development. I had played a charity event at Lake Presidential back in 2009 so I was interested to see how the course had matured since then.

Lake Presidential is located off US 301; south of the Bowie/Crofton area. Because of this, your traffic time to get there can vary. If you take the Capital Beltway it’s north of Rt. 4 but south of Rt. 214. Playing early, I made easy time to get down there. I was greeted by a friendly pro shop and a cart attendant got my bag on a cart for me (they are going for the “member for a day” type of club). One nice thing is that they include range balls on their practice facility and have grass tees in season (they may use mats during the winter). Carts have GPS and the course has several sets of tees; the black tees are just over 6800 yards and have a 137 slope. The blue tees (which I played) were just under 6400 yards with a 129 slope (this I found to be a good fit). They have a championship set of tees that they normally don’t use; at over 7200 yards and a 141 slope…probably for the best. They have a grill inside and had a tented half-way hut (the grilled hot dogs were smelling pretty good), and their pro shop was very well stocked.

The course was a bit worse for wear the day I played it; several greens had dead spots and the fairways were similar. I don’t think (based on my observations) that this is down to a lack of maintenance (I saw several folks out working on the course) but rather a function of some awful weather patterns.

Lake Presidential doesn’t start off easily- the first hole is a tough, tree-lined par 4 that bends to the left and will punish any wayward drives. The first par 5 is on #3 and is no slouch (in fact, all of their par 5’s are stout and have numerous challenges).

The signature hole is #8, a tight and long par 5 with a peninsula green and several danger areas. I was lucky to get off of the green with a 6. The front 9 finishes with a longish par 3 that’s all carry over water to a 2-tiered green (I had a bit of good luck to use the slope to my advantage and ended up with a 2).

The back 9 starts tough and stays tough. The 12th is a tough downhill par 3 that looks easy but can wreck your card. The 13th was unlucky for me (it’s a beauty of a hole- a par 5 with an elevated tee to a picturesque tree-lined fairway (I’m sure it was pretty- I spent the hole hacking out of trees). From there, holes 15-18 give you a chance to recover and end positively. 16 is a downhill par 3 to a large green, 17 is a short par 4 that the big hitters could go for (or you could go into the trees on the right)…which leads to 18. 18 is a par 5 that requires a longish carry over a lake to a fairly generous fairway and ends with a very tricky green (for me at least- I three-jacked it to end with a dissatisfactory bogey after 2 great shots had me thinking birdie).

Because of its proximity and relationship with the Gaylord Resort at National Harbor, they get their fair share of outings (which if we’re being honest can’t help with conditions).

All in all, it’s a tough but fun track. Would I go back? Yes assuming I could keep the ball in the fairway.