Tag: Putter

Timbers At Troy Course Review 2017 version

2nd hole at Timbers at Troy. Hello, old friend. It's been a while.

2nd hole at Timbers at Troy. Hello, old friend. It’s been a while.

First off, happy Father’s day to all the dads.   My father never played golf and didn’t have any desire to take up the game- he played professional baseball (minor leagues), and prior to my arrival in his world he played doubles tennis but wasn’t a golfer.  While I prefer whiskey, bourbon and Scotch, my father drank a gin martini every night and God help you if you screwed with that (I don’t dislike gin, but I prefer other spirits).   He passed away more than 20 years ago, and I miss the stubborn SOB all the time mostly because we could argue and disagree on a level that I cannot possibly put into words (which happened pretty much all the time).

I mention this because it was on Father’s Day that I went back to Timbers at Troy for the first time in 3 years when the course had fallen into a state of disrepair.  I do remember playing at Timbers on Fathers Day in 2007 or 2008 and getting paired up with a father/son playing together.  I tried to avoid being a third wheel, but the father seemed to gravitate towards me while the son was a weepy, pathetic mess of humanity seeking an “experience” with his father (if you’re that son and reading this, just enjoy each day for what it is.  Be your own man.

When Timbers closed for renovations and repairs last fall, I didn’t know what the next chapter of this course would look like.  The course I remember from 3 + years ago was one with washed out hardpan bunkers, chewed-up tee boxes, fairways that had seen better days, and greens that were inconsistent.  I’ve long complained about the state of affairs for Howard County public golf (the CA courses are at best a mixed bag, Waverly Woods seems to have its act together, while Timbers at Troy is still the big question mark).

So it was on a peak summer-like hot and steamy morning that I made that familiar drive off MD-100 to see what seven months’ closure had done.

Whether you play off #1 or #10, both starters are among the toughest holes on the course; long par 4’s that require two accurate shots to reach the green.  Whatever optimism I had about the state of affairs took a punch to the gut fairly quickly.  The fairway on #1 was a soggy, spongy mess and the area around the green had several spots that should have been Ground Under Repair (the bunkers on either side did look quite good).

10th hole at Timbers at Troy.  A good time to hit one straight.

10th hole at Timbers at Troy. A good time to hit one straight.

Unfortunately, the 1st hole was fairly consistent with what I saw most of my round.  Either heavy overnight rain or over-watering (I didn’t have any rain at my house yesterday but I suppose it’s possible that Timbers got a deluge) made most of the fairways fairly wet and heavy.  The tee boxes were a mixed bag; some were in great shape and others looked like they’d been used by a rugby team for scrum practice.  Roughs were also inconsistent, however several areas had the obvious signs of being re-sodded.

13th green at Timbers at Troy.  As you can see some areas are still in need of some TLC.

13th green at Timbers at Troy. As you can see some areas are still in need of some TLC.

If there’s hope with the course conditions, it’s on the greens.  The surfaces were hardly US Open level speeds, but they were smooth and consistent (which  99.9% of golfers will gladly take).  Hopefully, others will make sure to repair pitch marks and ball marks (if you’re not then shame on you).   I was impressed with the greens.

The layout is unchanged.  It’s certainly not the longest track in the area (from the tips it’s under 6700 yards, and from the blues it’s less than 6200 yards but has a rather stout slope rating of 133) but it demands accuracy.  For all of its shortcomings, it’s still a great layout with a nice variety of holes and lengths.  The longest par 5 is just over 510 yards from the blue tees but wild shots are punished.  The elevation changes aren’t overly dramatic other than the 14th hole (a shortish par 3 that plays 1-2 clubs shorter), but they are noticeable.

From the 18th tee at Timbers at Troy. More uphill than it looks.

From the 18th tee at Timbers at Troy. More uphill than it looks.

One other improvement was the staff.   The pro shop, the starter and even the ranger/marshal were all if nothing else friendly (and I firmly believe this goes a long way).  This was not always the case; more than once I can remember going to the pro shop or dealing with the starter and thinking I was an intrusion and not a customer.

So overall, conditions are improved at Timbers but they have some work to do.  The bones are there; now they just need to take it to that next level.

 

Revealed – The Post Ryder Cup Task Force Meeting

Once again, Sean McIdoe who runs the beyond-fantastic hockey website downgoesbrown.com and has written a fantastic book and if that’s not enough is a frequent contributor to Grantland has generously loaned his infamous “spies” to me as I try to uncover what happened at the super-secret PGA of America Task Force meeting.

Seriously, Sean’s a great writer and his book is hilarious.  Buy his book.  Hell, buy several copies.

Okay, enough plugging.  Below are the meeting minutes.  Present were PGA of America President Ted Bishop, Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Rickie Fowler and Tom Watson.

Ted Bishop (PGA of America President): Thanks, everyone for taking time out of their day to join me here in Orlando as we try to figure out how we can improve the US Ryder Cup team.  We’ve lost 8 of the last 10 Ryder Cups, and frankly they’ve outplayed us.  So I want to hear your ideas on what we can do so we can start winning again.  Because if there’s one thing that golf fans agree on it’s middle-aged white guys chanting “USA” never gets old.  It’s almost as great as the guys who yell “Baba Booey” or “GET IN THE HOLE MASHED POTATOES.”  So who wants to start?  Remember, you’re here to come up with ideas on how we can regain the Ryder Cup in 2016.

Arnold Palmer: Well if you idiots would stop listening to Jack, we’d be playing the Brits and the Irish and not the whole continent.  But…no…you had to go invite the whole damn continent.  And wow…thanks for letting me hear that “Ole Ole Ole” song.  Every time I hear it I want to go drink gasoline.

Dan Jenkins: Can I make a comment about Sergio Garcia that’s mildly offensive or should I just talk about TCU football?  Can I polish Ben Hogan’s statue a bit?  Should I be using the Twitter and talk about Tiger and pool parties?  People like that stuff.  Or should I just mention “try putting better” like I did back in August.

Tiger Woods: TCU old man?  That choke job last week at Baylor was worse that the 2012 choke we had at Medinah, amirite?  You need Stanford guys running things like…what’s that old guy…?

(Jenkins whispering in Woods’ ear to remind him that Tom Watson went to Stanford)

Tiger: Well never mind then.

Watson: Thanks, pal.

Rickie Fowler: Go OSU Cowboys!  I enjoy the Ryder Cup…it’s a great honor to represent my country.  Now if you excuse me I’m getting on my motorcycle and do a couple wheelies in the parking lot.

Phil Mickelson: Well, the first problem is that we’re having this meeting in Orlando.  Should I spend 20 minutes going over this power point presentation Bones and I made about why we should have it in Phoenix or San Diego?  Should I mention I’ll have to leave between 11:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. to take Amy and my daughter to lunch at the Varsity in Atlanta?  And if you look at the last five slides they’re art work made by my kids.

Jenkins: Seriously…do these guys know how to putt?  Ben Hogan knew how to putt.  So’d Lee Trevino.  I need a drink.

Watson: Well, we practiced our putting for a couple hours…so there’s that.

Tiger: I know what you were missing…

Jenkins: Someone who can go 0-4 and not find the fairway with a map?

Jack Nicklaus: I can’t believe I haven’t spoken yet.  I’d like to talk about this one time I played with Arnie back in 1971.  We were both hungover as skunks and we teed off.  Arnie hit a baby draw that ended up in the rough.  I was in the fairway about 175 yards from the pin, and I hit a little fade with a 6-iron …Angelo thought it was a 7-iron but I knew that with the wind that it would be a six; so then Arnie hits this beautiful 4-wood from the rough to about 10 feet..he caught it a bit heavy but he got a good roll on it…

Palmer: Holy shit Jack…can’t you go design a golf course somewhere or go spend time with your grandkids?  I’m old and going to die soon and honestly you talking about golf shots is nowhere near what I want to be hearing about when I go.  You know what would hit the spot right now?  An iced tea/lemonade combo.  I’ve got a great name for it. Anway, so there were these two cheerleaders when I played at Wake Forest…wow.  So the one’s a redhead and tells me about this trick she had involving ping pong balls…

Tiger: Go on…did she work at Perkins?

Jenkins: Are we doing Tiger dating Perkins waitress jokes?  Because I have a few.

Phil: Sophia did a research project about the effective curve of Perkins waitress jokes.  Can I show her analysis?

Group: NO!

Bishop: NO.  What do you guys think would help our players play better in Tournaments?

Fowler: Our captains have always tried their hardest.  Can’t we just say that anyone who lives in the Orlando area is automatically ineligible to play for Europe?  That would mean McDowell and Poulter couldn’t play…that would help, right?  What about if we had more captain’s picks.

Watson: More captain’s picks would be helpful.  I mean, how’d I get stuck with Webb Simpson?  He’s a nice kid but how’d he qualify?

Bishop: Someone kill me…please.

Jenkins: Putting.  Instead of staring at the green for two minutes, how about hit the damn ball so it goes in the hole?  The Euros seem to have this figured out. What would help if these guys could…oh I don’t know, maybe make a putt every now and then.  And have a personality.  Most of you goobers are as exciting as a roll of paper towels.

Tiger: Military style training.  I run 8 miles a day in army boots.  Okay, so I couldn’t find the fairway with a map, but I’m in the greatest shape of my life (he rips off shirt and begins doing bodybuilder poses).

Jenkins: Tiger, watching you try to hit a driver is like watching me not make borderline racially inappropriate jokes about Sergio Garcia every time he pisses away a tournament.  Is for me, Sergio!  And now your putting has gone bad as well.  Insert thing about how Ben Hogan would dominate you.

Tiger: If you mention Ben Hogan two more times I get a free car wash.

Bishop: None of this is helping.

Palmer: These guys don’t care anymore.  They’re happy with their free courtesy cars and private planes.  Make ’em fly commercial and take a bus.

Mickelson: Remind me who started this whole private plane shit.  Hint- his name is Arnold Palmer.

Nicklaus: You tell ’em…which reminds me about the 1972 US Open…

Tiger: Oh shit…you’re going to summon it from the depths of Napa.

(Door opens and Johnny Miller walks in)

Miller: Did someone mention the 1973 US Open?  I shot a 63 there and won.

Bishop: You’re a year off…Seriously?  We’re talking about the Ryder Cup and you silly bastards go get Johnny Oakmont?  Do any of you actually have an attention span?

Miller: Seriously…am I the only one awed by that 63?  I can go through it hole by hole if you like.

Tiger: If you do I’m putting a gun in my mouth.

Mickelson: Whatever, did I mention Amy made me a cake for my birthday?  It was awesome. Anyway, Pelz and I have put together this 500-page report on how we can putt better.  If only I had done this before the PGA Championship this year.

Jenkins: Holy shit Phil…watching you miss that inevitable 8-footer is like watching TCU sorority girls stumble around drunk.  It stopped being funny a while ago and now it’s just pathetic.

Tiger: Can’t you just make golf commercials Phil?  You know Phil, you can grow that hair as long as you want but it won’t cover up that bald spot.

Phil: Whatever…anyway, Amanda and Sophia (opens wallet and pulls out photo) were talking with Amy, and we put together this 25-slide power point going over how they think that having a day of math and science and that Sophia would make a great captain.

Palmer: Why exactly am I here?

Bishop: To try to help us be better at the Ryder Cup and because people know your name.  I mentioned Webb Simpson earlier nobody knows who he is…and he won a US Open?  I mean, how hard could that be?

Mickelson: Eat shit and die.

Palmer: I’d suggest that they start to play practice rounds for real stakes…I mean shit that means something…not cash.  So it was 1965 and I was out on the tiles with Dean Martin and Joey Bishop, and we had a couple drinks…

Jenkins: Go on…

Palmer: Thanks. So anyway, we meet up with these cocktail waitresses and I ask them if they want to play leaky submarine.

Bishop: Please NOBODY LOOK THAT UP ON URBAN DICTIONARY.

Jenkins: Have I mentioned become better putters yet?

Palmer: My point, Mr. Fun Police, is that these guys are about as exciting as a pair of socks.  Oh, you clowns play ping pong?  Unless you mean beer pong before hanging out with an entire sorority.  Do you know what we used to do at Ryder Cups?  Hint- get drunk and screw girls!  Plus…they don’t care if they lose or not.  It’s not like they’re going to suffer any consequences or lose money as a result.

Tiger: You know, Freddie Couples always does a great job at the Presidents Cup.  He’s not a hard-ass and let’s face it, beating the International side isn’t exactly difficult.  And Freddie pretty much lets me do whatever…

Jenkins: So lose a lot then…

Fowler: I like Freddie as well.  He listens to our ideas and he offered me several great suggestions.

Phil: When I suggested to Freddie that he pair me and Keegan together he thought that was a great idea.

Nicklaus: Freddie sure seems like a nice fella, but don’t forget about my Presidents Cup wins either.

Palmer: Hey Jack, can you mention those 18 majors?  Pretty sure it’s been a day since you’ve done that.

Nicklaus: You’re not counting my US Amateur wins.

All: SHUT UP JACK!

Watson: So who’s our next captain?

Bishop: We need someone who will command the respect of the players and can inspire the team to victory.  Someone who can unite players of different backgrounds towards a common goal.  Someone who understands the global game of golf.

Miller: What about me?  It’s not like I’m doing anything right now.  Do you know what it’s like to hang out with Dan Hicks?  My social life becomes the equivalent of that dog commercial with the Sarah McLachlan song.  He spent 20 minutes talking about new socks.

All: NO!

Bishop: I’ve made my decision.  After careful thought I’m pleased to introduce the 2016 US Ryder Cup Captain and Assistant Captains.  We think that these men will give us the chance we need to get the cup back.  Gents?

US captain Ian Poulter, and assistant captains Rory McIlroy, and Justin Rose walk into the room.  There are audible gasps and two members of the panel jump out of the building.

Bishop: I’d say we just gave ourselves a fantastic chance of winning.

 

Thoughts nobody asked for

Finishing up my most recent round (a rather desultory affair) quicker than normal (always a good thing), I decided to stop by the practice green before heading home (putting has always been a challenge for me, and I have the 3-putts to prove it). Which got me thinking.

I grew up watching hockey and this time of year is easily my favourite- the Stanley Cup Playoffs are in full swing, the PGA Tour is going, and the weather is great. It was thinking about hockey (and the thought of being able to play golf this morning and watch a playoff game tonight featuring my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs). I have friends who have kids who play hockey (the cost makes golf seem cheap) and at one point I coached youth hockey in the area (at a program geared toward beginners). The league (and all youth hockey) requires that players wear full face cages and doesn’t allow fighting (and the league I coached didn’t allow body checking). Which led me back to golf, and the current furor over anchoring putters.

Every pro hockey league except the NHL requires players to wear visors, and the NCAA requires full facial protection. Even Canadian major-junior hockey requires visors (they also require the certified visors which are affixed differently than the visors you see in the NHL) and they also require kevlar neck guards and the helmets to have ear flaps. In short, different rules at different playing levels.

But what about football? Different rules. Receivers only have to have one foot in-bounds for a catch, and there’s the whole college football overtime thing. Kickoffs are different as well.

But what about basketball? Games are of different length, players have different numbers of fouls before disqualification, and the number of time-outs per game is different.

Baseball? College baseball uses aluminum/titanium/stealth bomber material bats, and yet, the pros only use wood bats.  So different rules for different levels.

And yet golf, which by every account would like to see the game grow, has its governing bodies trying to force amateurs and casual players to play under the same rules as professionals.  Most of the casual golfers I know are honorable people who play by the rules, but like everyone we have our “circle of trust/friendship” for conceded putts and during early season rounds we’ll play “winter rules” or roll it over in the fairway if it’s in a divot.

I don’t use a long putter (tried one once and hated it)…I’m fully capable of missing putts with my conventional 35-inch model…but if you (or anyone else) wants to use a long putter…have at it.

The dichotomy goes further in golf…the PGA of America has correctly pushed a “tee it forward” in order to have faster rounds.  If we followed the consistency based on the governing bodies we’d all play from the same set of tees.  I’ve had the pleasure of teeing it up at two courses used by the PGA Tour.  I’ve seen the tee boxes they use, and no thank you.  A 502 yard hole is a par 5 for me.  If Messrs Mickelson, Watson, Woods, etc. play that as a par 4 then good on them.

So yes, any events conducted by the R&A or USGA ban anchoring.  The PGA Tour should probably go that route as well along with the European Tour and LPGA Tour.  Casual golfers could then decide for themselves.  There are enough serious golfers who’d want to play using a conventional putter as they have designs on amateur championships.  But for a bunch of my fellow 10-handicappers…let them choose for themselves.   The game is hard enough as it is.  In the end, we play because we enjoy it.  It’s not our job (it’s what I do to escape from the stresses of my job).