While I like to consider myself a fast golfer, I won’t claim to being the only expert when it comes to slow play. There are others, and I would argue that the more voices that we hear from, the better off we’ll all be.
To that, I cede the floor to James Achenbach of Golfweek, who, in his farewell column, wrote some of the best words (that came from Dick Hyland, head professional at The Country Club at DC Ranch in Scottsdale, Arizona (if you ever need a second, or a third, just contact me through my site and I’ll be there).
Note: this was in the August 31st issue of Golfweek. I’d link to it, but Golfweek doesn’t have print articles that I can link to. I tried (so we’re clear, what’s below isn’t my words, but that of James Achenbach and Dick Hyland; Italics are mine). Mr Hyland’s tips (which should appear at every course), appear below:
1) Give golf professionals the clear authority to approach and advise plodding groups. Hyland’s first words to any slow group: “What can I do to help you?”
2) Forget honors entirely; play ready golf at all times.
3) Concentrate on determining your yardage before it is your turn to his.
4) Try this guideline: From the time you pick up your coin (or ball marker), you have 15 seconds to hit a putt.
5) Another guideline: In the age of plastic spikes, experiment with rounds where continuous putting is mandatory.
6) The first golfer to hole out should hold the flag and replace it.
7) Never park a golf cart on the front side of the green; park it as close as possible to the point of exit from the green.
8) After hitting a shot, keep your club in your hand. Replace it in the bag only after the cart has stopped at its next position.
9) In the age of distance measuring devices, try this on par-3 holes: Spray paint the exact yardage to the flag stick from various tee locations.
10: Courses might keep and even post a time sheet, noting start time, turn time, and finish time for all groups.
This week I had to make the decision that nobody ever wants to make; to have a longtime friend put to sleep. I know that people will say “he’s only a dog” but if you ever met my oldest greyhound, you’d know he wasn’t just a dog. He was never “just” a dog. He was loyal, loving, kind, friendly, honest, charming and above all, sweet to every living creature he ever met. If you met him, you’d know what I mean. The dog practically adopted us (seriously- he found us at an open house among dozens of other groups of willing adopters…he knew- dogs know (what complete suckers we would be)).
He was the dog who’d get up in the middle of the night to check on you if you weren’t feeling well. He couldn’t wait for me to get home to tell me all about his day. Untold numbers of children who were otherwise afraid of dogs found they weren’t so scary when they met him. He would stand patiently (and probably enjoying the attention) while kids would pet him. People who didn’t like dogs (or animals) liked him. Charming? In a word…yes. He knew how to work a room better than most humans.
When the sweetest dog in the world ponders a nap or playing with a toy.
He had been in declining health over the last several months, and the day I hoped would never come came this past Wednesday, when it became clear that we would have to let him go, and “cross over the rainbow” and many greyhound owners have called it. He was no longer able to stand up, and unfortunately having tried every possible option, it was clear that he was not long for this earth. Having been forced to make the decision in short order, I felt deprived of being able to give him one last celebration, but deep down, I know he’s not in pain anymore, and I like to think he’s in place where he’s reuniting with former buddies.
Switching gears and onto more golf-related things, two things piqued my interest while doing some reading:
Joe Buck did an interview with For The Win (excerpted in Golf Digest) where he says that announcing golf is difficult and that it’s not slower, but faster than other sports (his words, not mine).
What complete and utter bulls***. First off, Jim Nantz does NFL football, NCAA basketball and golf, and handles both quite well. Dan Hicks of NBC/Golf Channel does golf, Olympic sports, AND does NCAA football for their Notre Dame broadcasts. Hicks isn’t the domineering force that Nantz is, but to me it’s fine, because NBC/Golf Channel have a huge amount of talent (Johnny Miller along with Feherty and fellow SJSU alum Roger Maltbie). He knows how to use the people around him, which is what an anchor should do!
FOX’s coverage of the USGA events was, to be polite, terrible. Other than the US Open, it seemed like they didn’t give a damn. And at the US Open, they had way too many people doing a poor job of covering the tournament. It was the televised golf equivalent of the “Too Many Cooks” video on You Tube. The only time they did any good was at the end when they managed to not get in the way of what was a thrilling finish at the end of the US Open.
I predicted that this was going to be a challenge…a network with no history of covering golf with an anchor and a lead analyst with ZERO experience, and with very few chances to get it right. For Buck to be surprised at this is at best, laughably tone deaf and at worst, a searing indictment of FOX and the USGA signing a 12-year deal. I refuse to give the USGA any money because of this decision (if you’re expecting them to do any good with it, I wouldn’t hold my breath). Instead of hiring a bunch of stuffed shirts who have spent their entire lives living the country club lifestyle, hire some people who understand the average golfer (the guy who plays at public courses, who changes his shoes in the parking lot). Just saying.
At least ESPN had the decency to get out of the golf business completely; they have agreed to let NBC/Golf Channel take over the Open next year (or British Open if you prefer). I’d politely suggest that FOX go to the USGA, and ask to let NBC/Golf Channel/CBS personnel cover the event and let it air on FOX. As a hockey fan who is still scarred by their horribly bad NHL coverage from the mid 1990’s (starting with the glow-pucks), the sports they’ve done best with are ones where they haven’t tried to overthink coverage.
Lastly, a tip of the cap to James Achenbach of Golfweek, who penned a fantastic piece in a recent print edition of Golfweek about some slow play tips (they don’t have it online) that are so brilliant that they should be posted in every clubhouse. Simple stuff- park the cart in back of the hole, play ready golf, continuous putting, etc.
Let’s hope for another few weeks of the golf season!
Brandel Chamblee of Golf Channel, who I normally find worth listening to (he’s not afraid to be critical which is good, and for those unaware he did play on the PGA Tour to some level of success- he has one PGA Tour victory which is one more than I’ll ever see) recently wrote an interesting piece about growing the game of golf. He suggests that the PGA Professional at his home country club was a huge factor for him, and that the home professionals have the ability to make that all-important 1 on 1 contact with would-be golfers. This sounds really nice, except that it lacks a bit of practicality in the 21st century.
Brandel Chamblee speaks. I offer a rebuttal. Politely.
I suppose that, if your parents have a country club membership that this is a fantastic means to make that personal connection that can make someone into a golfer for a lifetime. I was not one of those people and I must confess to knowing one person (a very good friend) who grew up in a country club environment (by his own admission, the club was not a sanctuary for the well-heeled but more of a social club that had things for people of all ages and genders). My parents were of very modest means, so joining a country club was a laughable idea (not to mention my parents were not golfers on any level- the best I could do is my father playing minor league baseball and being a fairly decent doubles tennis player). However, I did have my “one on one” introduction via an aunt (since deceased) who was a very good amateur player (we would see her once a year during the family visits that doubled as vacations). At no point did she ever give me lessons other than a couple tips (we played together a few times- she could be as tough as nails but she could also be as sweet and charming in her Texas/Oklahoma drawl as you could possibly imagine) and a suggestion to watch Jack Nicklaus’ videos “Golf My Way” (in my opinion this remains as good of an instructional video that exists- there’s nothing fancy here…just good solid fundamentals); I can still remember watching these videos (renting them from the local video rental store- kids, go ask your parents about “video rental stores”).
I’ve been playing the game off and on for close to 30 years. I’ve probably played at 200 golf courses, and if I’ve met the local PGA Professional at any of them, it would be news to me (again- no need for introductions from the club pros). If you don’t know me, I’m the guy who happily puts on his golf shoes in the parking lot, and then walks into the pro shop to pay my green fee and head to the starter (until I quit smoking I’d be the guy pulling up in untied golf shoes stashing my cigarettes in the cart (if I didn’t have one already lit) where nowadays people stash their mobile phones). Generally speaking, I’m a “hit the ball and hit the road” golfer (a phrase coined by a writer whose work I enjoy). I don’t know anyone who has the time to spend that kind of time at a country club, and the reality is that I don’t see this dichotomy changing anytime soon in the age of two-income families and social agendas for kids becoming more and more compacted.
So unless you’re the child of parents who spend a lot of time at a country club, the reality in the 21st century is that a club professional may not be capable (or willing) to have that one on one time. It’s a wonderful idea (and to be clear, I’ve nothing but kind words for any club professional teaching the game to young people), but is it really practical?
The answer, it seems, is that it’s on all of us. My aunt didn’t teach me grip, stance, or swing. My grip, stance, and swing are entirely self-taught from watching Golf My Way and going out and following what the videos showed me. Is that a bad thing? I’ve had two people give me pointers in the last 20 years. A guy I was talking to at a driving range in 1995 told me to stand closer and more upright to the ball (I’d gain distance and I’d be less likely to come over the top), and a guy at a store I was trying some clubs out identified me as a hockey player based on my swing. His advice? Don’t let anyone get the hockey out of your swing. That and Jack (and later in life, that Jack would sometimes be Jack Daniels, who also offers sage advice).
If you see young people playing, welcome them. Don’t worry about them becoming Tour Professionals (they won’t) and for all that’s good, let them try to figure it out on their own (sounds mean but once you actually figure out what it is you’re doing wrong and how to correct it, you’ll be a much better golfer). Offer aid when asked. Focus on the basics- grip, stance, ball position. I learned by hitting lightweight practice balls in my neighbourhood (I’d cover them with scotch tape to give them a bit of weight and make them not quite as susceptible to wind) and I made my own “course” using light posts and trees for flag sticks (using a single club- an old Wilson 8-iron).
Again, I’m not being critical of Brandel Chamblee, I’m pointing out that his experiences are just that-his. It’s not to diminish them, but rather to point out that there are different paths to the game other than the club professional. I do agree with him that foot-golf (Frisbee golf but with a soccer ball) and the 15 inch hole are not solutions, but well-intended but naive ideas that do nothing to grow the game.
Shouldn’t you be at a Phish concert or something?
Seriously. Go find a disc golf course and ask folks playing if they’ve ever considered playing real golf. My guess is that they haven’t. Which is fine- they enjoy their sport and I’m free to enjoy mine, just like they can enjoy 20-minute versions of Phish songs, and I can enjoy double scotches.
So today’s the last Sunday in July, which means that the next time I tee one up it’ll be August. Which means that the “summer” golf season of June-August has one month left.
So how’s it going so far for you? The weather has, as you might imagine, been a real factor (not to beat a dead horse but that Mens Journal written-on-a-crayon piece I referenced last week failed to mention that weather is an enormous factor in rounds played) with several heat waves and more than normal thunderstorms. Hopefully you’ve been able to get out there and enjoy some good golf.
The Quicken Loans National hits our area next weekend, however it’s not at Congressional this year, but rather it’s at RTJ Golf Club in Gainesville/Lake Manassas (pick one- I’ve seen both), VA. While this sounds all good and well, from the official site to buy tickets (the Tiger Woods Foundation website), there’s this nugget:
Buy your parking early and save. Parking will be at Jiffy Lube Live: 7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow, VA 20136.
$10 per day, General Admission Parking (Tuesday-Sunday)
Having anything to do with the clusterfuck that is Jiffy Lube Live is, frankly, a disaster waiting to happen. Ask anyone who’s ever attended a concert there, and they’ll tell you horror stories. Plus, they’re charging people to park at what is possibly the most-hated venue in the DMV (it’s a tie between Jiffy Lube Live and FedEx Field)? What’s that about? I attended this event back when it was the old Kemper Open. Walked up on Sunday with some co-workers and paid $28.00 to get in and parking was free at Marriott HQ/Montgomery Mall in Bethesda. Pay in advance now, and that same ticket is now $45.00. So I’m now paying DOUBLE what I paid when the tournament was at the old TPC Avenel (now TPC Potomac- I played there in 2012 as a guest of a former colleague- it was a fantastic course…if you get a chance well worth your time). So I’ll pass; I’ll have a few beers that will be cheaper than the $10.00 chilled horse urine that they serve up (and mine will taste better), and I’ll have access to clean, private washrooms and more comfortable seating. Oh, and at my “private suite”, once the round is done, I won’t have to sit on the parking lot that is I-66 for hours on end.
I played yesterday (Saturday) at Little Bennett. Other than the greens being a bit furry (they were cutting the greens while I was playing) the course was in great shape.
12th hole. Waiting to hit my 2nd shot while they mowed and re-cut the green. Made par from here. GAHH!
It’s hard to complain about carding an 81, except that take away 2 three-putts and that becomes a 79. Still, it’s a tough course and for my two cents worth an underrated test of golf.
Not scary at all. Just hit it long and straight. What could be easier?
I got on a 5-hole par train starting on #10, where I hit the fairway and was on in regulation on every hole. Had 2 tap-ins of 2″ for pars, but in reality I can’t complain even if I’m doing just that right now.
Note. Going right with your second shot is not suggested. Just saying.
All in all, a solid round. The wreckage appears below.
Scorecard from my round on July 25th. Played from the whites except on 2 holes where I played from the blues.
This week the PGA Tour is in my hometown area (I grew up in Mississauga, Glen Abbey is in Oakville which is next to Mississauga). When Graham DeLaet withdrew this week due to injury I figured there’d be no chance of seeing a Canadian lead, but here we are on Sunday afternoon with two Canadians (David Hearn is tied for the lead, Adam Hadwin is T6) on the front page of the leaderboard. Given that a Canadian hasn’t won in over 60 years I’d like to see Hearn pull it out.
Shameless plug: for more that just golf follow me on Instagram. It’s like my blog, but less wordy and more boozy.
I wanted FOX to get it right. I wanted them to balance new technology and new thinking with a well-structured broadcast that would win reviews, delight and energize viewing audiences and hopefully, elevate the entire medium of how golf tournaments are broadcast. At a minimum, I wanted them to put together a technically strong broadcast that informed the viewer of what was going on, and give the viewing public confidence that they would show themselves to be a worthy partner in the landscape and show their rivals at CBS, NBC and Golf Channel that while their portfolio might not be the largest, they would always put their best foot forward.
That, unfortunately, didn’t happen. From enough technical mistakes to fill seasons’ worth of NBC/GC/CBS broadcasts to overuse of people wholly unsuited for the broadcast to the tragic under-utilization of Holly Sanders, to the USGA’s utter incompetence in being able to set up a golf course, it was four days of incompetence saved, not because of themselves, but in spite of themselves in the form of a thrilling conclusion.
It was only then that FOX managed to get out of their own way, but only barely. An exciting finish does not make up for nor excuse a raft of technical mistakes that seemed to be happening far too often.
Much like Rogers’ 12-year (11 years left) deal for Canadian NHL rights, the first year was an error-strewn stage of screw-ups and trying to put round pegs in square holes that meant lower ratings and dissatisfied audiences.
I’ll let Gary Player offer a reasoned critique of the USGA:
He did everything but drop the mic when he was done.
I’ll add this- going to an all-fescue course wasn’t the problem. It’s when you let poa annua creep in that you end up with mess on the greens that you have. The USGA had 8 years to get this course ready, and more importantly, they had the resources to get the course in fantastic shape. And frankly, this isn’t the first time that they’ve let this happen (letting a golf course get away from them). It happened in 1998 at Olympic (the hole location on #18 on the Friday was worthy of a clown’s mouth), it happened in 2001 at Southern Hills, 2002 at Bethpage Black (forcing players to carry the ball 250 yards on the fly), 2004 at Shinnecock Hills (letting the greens die on them), 2006 Winged Foot (letting the rough get horrific), 2012 at Olympic (tee boxes on the final day), and 2014 at Pinehurst. I don’t blame them for the wet conditions in 2009 and 2011…they did the best they could under the circumstances. But far too often they’re trying to over-think things; often to the detriment of the tournament and the golf course.
My concern is this- by Sunday night, Chambers Bay looked dead (the turf). For their well-intended concerns about using less water on courses how much more water (and sod, fertilizer, etc.) is it going to take to get the course back to being operational? I’m all for courses that use drought-tolerant turf but there has to be a line between “you can save water” and “let the course die and become as hard as a cement parking lot.”
The USGA have one crack to set up a course for the best men in the world (and one for the best women), and their record is, frankly, terrible. I’ll go back to the question- are we trying to identify the best players in the world or embarrass them? This notion of “we must protect par” is absurd. If you watched The Masters and were angry because Jordan Spieth took the course apart, raise your hand. Did Rory McIlroy’s win in 2011 somehow detract because he finished -16 on a wet course that you could throw darts at? Did Tiger Woods’ 2000 win at Pebble Beach (where he finished at 272 and won by 15 strokes and put on a clinic) detract from watching? NO! People want to see elite athletes turn in elite performances! Set the course up to challenge the best players in the world, but reward great shots. If the winning score is -10…so what? Augusta National, the R&A and the PGA of America don’t have this obsession with par, and yet you have the USGA ginning up their annual “we must protect par” game. And having holes alternate between being a par 4 and a par 5 is laughable. The par of a hole should not change from one day to the next, especially on the first two days when you have players going off at the first and 10th holes.
Back to FOX. In the interest of trying to be nice, I’ll present the good, the bad, and the ugly:
GOOD:
-The trackman that they were using was fantastic and it helped casual fans see where shots were going. Better than their glow-puck idea from 20 years ago.
-The audio; from hearing the putts rattle around in the cup to the conversations between players and caddies…they got the audio right.
-Brad Faxon and Steve Flesch were solid, if not unspectacular in their roles. Faxon would be a great tower commentator (17th hole).
-Tom Weiskopf- unafraid to voice an opinion; in a revamped lineup I’d put him in the 16 hole tower.
-Graphics (when in use). The leaderboard was clean and the font they used easily readable. Having a top-five leaderboard on the screen at all times might have been overkill early on, but definitely something I’d like to see more of for weekend (especially final round) coverage.
-Drones (when in use). They should have been using the drone hole previews a lot more, especially on Sunday when you have casual fans tuning in.
-No Chris Berman. Not having to listen to him babble like a drunk in a bar was the one positive in their Thursday/Friday coverage; he might well be great hosting football and baseball, but it does not equate to being good at golf (regardless of if he plays or not).
BAD:
-Joe Buck. They’re trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Maybe you bump him to the host role (think Bob Costas on NBC’s US Open coverage), but for someone who’s covered Super Bowls and World Series, he seemed completely out of his element on Sunday evening. He was good conducting the interview with Jordan Spieth…maybe that’s his role going forward. It’s not a knock on Joe Buck; it’s about putting people in roles they’re good at.
Curt Menefee. He’s good at football. He’s terrible with golf. The four-five person booth might work great for an NFL pregame and halftime setup, but for golf it was too many people (CBS and NBC have two at a time…it’s cleaner and it works better). They tried having him host their UEFA Champions League Final coverage which was a similar bust. Maybe he’d be a good fit for baseball.
-The crawl. For early round coverage, that FOX didn’t have a crawl with the entire field (on Thursday) listed is borderline criminal. For a network that spearheaded giving the viewer more information, this was laughable. I kept flipping over the Golf Channel as they had one. They hired Mark Loomis away, and something relatively simple and frankly, expected by viewers and they can’t be bothered. They didn’t run it much on the weekend coverage either.
-Early coverage. To come on the air and not show actual golf…WHY EVEN BOTHER? When in doubt, show golf shots! It’s not that hard!
-Mike Davis interview. I’ve seen pillow fights that were tougher. I know…the USGA is their partner. But you didn’t have one or two players being critical of the course and the setup. The guy who won was critical of the setup. Ask tough questions. It’s okay. It’s not like they’re going anywhere.
UGLY:
-Holly Sanders. They hire someone from the Golf Channel, and rather than use her knowledge of golf, they have her do the post-round interviews (99.9% of which are completely pointless). I did like the graphic showing their score in the background, but a complete and total waste of talent. Here’s a crazy idea- have her anchor coverage.
-Rules. You have David Fay in the booth explaining things, but for audiences watching with no sound, a graphic showing the rule being applied would be a great addition (they do this with their NFL coverage). When Grace hit his tee shot on 16 way right (I was on the phone at the time so I had the volume on mute), I didn’t know if it was O.B. or considered to be in a hazard. The orange traffic cones I saw aren’t covered in any rule book. Again- when in doubt, give the viewer as much info as possible.
-Dustin Johnson interview after the 4th round. As in why didn’t they have one? He had one putt to win the championship and a second to get into a playoff…missed both. I get it- he feels awful, but this is your job to flag him down and ask him questions. To borrow from the late great Ken Venturi, from his first putt, he needs to take 5 out of the equation. Meaning, at worst, leave yourself a tap-in for a playoff. It’s not unreasonable to ask him a few questions (ask him about the number of short putts he missed- was it spike marks, was it a read issue…what?).
-USGA Playoff Format. In any other tournament they’d have kept playing (daylight wasn’t an issue), but this being the US Open, we’d send everyone home Sunday night without a winner and force an 18-hole playoff on Monday, which is beyond silly (the Masters goes to a sudden death playoff like every other PGA Tour event, while the PGA Championship and the Open Championship use 4 and 3-hole aggregate score playoffs). If the USGA is so against sudden death, then why do they use it after an 18-hole playoff (see 1994 and 2008 US Opens). Go to a 3-hole aggregate playoff, and send people home Sunday night with a winner.
ALL OF THE ABOVE:
-Greg Norman. At times he was insightful; other times he was long-winded and seemingly incapable of making a coherent point. With a better anchor who could keep him on point, I think he could be a solid main analyst. He’s not Faldo nor is he Miller, but he has the ability to improve. The question I’m asking is this- given his worldwide businesses that he runs, does he want to put in the work to become a world-class analyst? Given their limited portfolio of events (if we’re being honest, you’re looking at the Open, Senior Open, Women’s Open and the Amateur as the four main events that FOX has) it’s not unreasonable to ask if Norman is going to put in the time for four weeks’ work.
OVERALL:
As I predicted, this was never going to work well, and I continue to question the logic (beyond money) of the USGA’s decision to go to FOX for the next 11 years (after this one). It’s hard to see them going after golf (they have NASCAR and baseball rights on weekends, and I don’t see Golf Channel/NBC or CBS giving up their current rights without having something to replace it) so they’re going to continue to be a part-time player (like ESPN, who shows the Open Championship and early-round Masters coverage and that’s it) in golf. Long term I still think that the Masters will take early-round rights to Golf Channel, and I think NBC/Golf Channel goes hard now that the bidding process is underway for the Open Championship.
FOX did some good things, but still made far too many mistakes that viewers shouldn’t have to tolerate. I can only hope that next year at Oakmont (as traditional of a US Open course as you can get) they do a better job.
Once again, Ted Bishop (formerly of the PGA of America) managed to put his foot in his mouth over the weekend with an ill advised tweet directed at Ian Poulter which did not end well for him.
You’d think Bishop (who lost his gig with the PGA of America over a wholly inappropriate tweet directed at Poulter) would have learned. And you’d be wrong.
This started because Sports Illustrated further sullied its reputation by having an anonymous poll of pros as to who the most overrated player on Tour is (Rickie Fowler, who won on Sunday, and Poulter were tied for most overrated). Poulter’s record on the European Tour speaks for itself (12 wins on the European Tour and 2 WGC wins).
I don’t really understand what Bishop’s issue is with Poulter. Is he mad that Poulter has been a part of the last two European Ryder Cup wins and three years ago in Chicago pretty much carried the European team to back into something resembling contention on the Saturday? Does Poulter’s sartorial taste rub his triple-pleated khakis the wrong way?
Look, I get that Poulter isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. He’s brash, outspoken, and tweets about almost anything and everything (golf and non-golf). Personally I wish he’d throttle back on photos of his toys (expensive sports cars), but he clearly can afford the lifestyle that this sort of thing costs (plus, he didn’t exactly come from wealth and privilege). He surely doesn’t need me speaking for him, but he’s said as much that if you don’t care for him, then you’re free to unfollow him and ignore him.
Poulter got into an imbroglio (this happens a lot with him) over his choice to not play the European PGA at Wentworth. In the end, it’s his decision to make, and if he doesn’t play well at Wentworth (and he doesn’t) then I suppose that’s his choice to make. Golfers are independent contractors- they can choose to not play in a particular event, and Poulter is at that level where he can pick and choose where he wants to play (and doesn’t want to play) because his world ranking allows him to do this. He chose to move his family to the Orlando area, and play on the PGA Tour. His skill and talent enabled him to make this choice. If this is what works best for him, his family and his career then that’s the end of the discussion.
Finally reading former PGA of America President Ted Bishop’s interview with Golf Magazine made me realize why the game struggles like it does…Bishop, while well meaning, comes off as another old white dude who doesn’t understand why you can’t say certain things, especially when you’re the head of an organization that pulls in upwards of $1 billion in annual revenue (according to their most recent tax forms). He came from the world of private country clubs, and yes, he was a teaching professional (which is what the PGA of America is for- please don’t confuse them with the PGA Tour which are two entirely different organizations who serve entirely different populations).
So over two scotches (or “thinkin’ juice” as I like to call it), I came up with a plan to help them move into the 21st century and bring some badly needed change to the two events that they’re best known for contesting (the PGA Championship and the Ryder Cup).
Thinkin’ juice? Yes please
Starting things off, I accepted the nomination from the PGA of America to be their CEO. Sorry, Mr Bevacqua but you won’t be needed. This idea of naming major championship venues 10-12 years out (especially given your choices) is, to put it politely, a pile of horseshit. I don’t need a 7-figure pay packet…I’ll take a third of that and the PGA of America can put that money into junior golf programs and turfgrass research (work on trying to find grasses that are more heat and drought tolerant).
Step one is fixing the PGA Championship. It falls in August, and despite this, the PGA of America has a hard-on for the mid-west and the north east portions of the country. They’ve held the championship on the West coast 7 times (8 if you count the 2020 PGA Championship at Harding Park), or less than 8% of the time. Insulting and short sided doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Having lived in both Southern and Northern California, you know what you don’t have to worry about in August? Rain. Thunderstorms. Humidity. Since August is usually a dead period for TV viewing, we’ll follow what NBC did with the US Open- have a finish during East Coast prime time. There you go, East Coast/Midwest golfers- enjoy your day and then come home and watch the final round over dinner.
So where would I look? I’d put Pebble Beach on a short list of courses to consider with Bandon Dunes (they have the land and they’ve already hosted a US Amateur), Torrey Pines, TPC Harding Park, Olympic Club, Riviera, Pumpkin Ridge in Oregon (hosted a US Amateur- some fella named Woods won it in 1996) and Shaughnessy Golf Club in Vancouver, BC. Before you start screaming and yelling, you can golf just about year-round in Vancouver and the course is a traditional classic that with no whistles and bells beat up the best of the PGA Tour a few years ago when it hosted the Canadian Open. If Riviera isn’t an option, I’d look at Trump National Los Angeles.
Just think of the possibilites
I’d also change the format. Not to drop history on you, but the PGA Championship used to be match play…or what the Ryder Cup and Presidents Cup use. I understand CBS isn’t going to run the risk of having a final between two guys that the vast majority of casual sports fans have never heard of, so we’re going to make a couple minor tweaks.
Rounds 1 and 2 will be in threesomes in two waves off the 1st and 10th tee with guys either going early/late or late/early. Sounds simple enough, right? The cut will be the top 65 and ties. Period. Now here’s where the fun begins. We start a whole new tournament after the cut. Before you retire to your fainting chair or your chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssse or whatever, the US Amateur does essentially the same thing.
What I would do, however, is allow the top 20 finishers to pick their own tee time for the third round and then let the PGA of America do the rest. So let’s say you finished early and you like to play early…this is your reward (the fourth and final round goes out like it already does).
My overall thought is this (while watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs)- everything a team did in the regular season simply determines seeding in the playoffs. It’s not like they start with a lead or something. It also means that the guy in front can’t coast on their laurels, and the guy who gets in on the number starts with equal footing.
The Ryder Cup is already a great event, but it hasn’t seen the West Coast or the Rockies since 1959. It’s never been held at Pebble Beach. Bandon Dunes should also be considered. Cherry Hills CC in Colorado is another course I’d put up for consideration. The Olympic Club in San Francisco is another great option. The Europeans shouldn’t mind that much, and if they do, then let them pout.
Let’s hope the rain holds off tomorrow and everyone can enjoy a nice (albeit cool) day of golf. Hit ’em straight!
It’s that time of year-we’re on the eve of the first major of the year, and finally it feels like golf weather today (except it’s supposed to rain the next three days…so we’ve got that going). And if it’s going to rain all weekend and keep you off the links, how better to watch than with your very own SGIC-approved Masters Drinking Game?
These guys are good at golf. Real, real good.
I’m sure that there are “other” Masters Drinking Games that you could follow, but the distilled spirits industry would probably like it if you follow mine because my game is for professionals.
Take ONE drink (an actual drink- this sipping stuff won’t do) if any of the following happen:
-CBS shows Tiger Woods on Sunday and he’s more than 12 shots off the lead
-Jim Nantz is wearing a J.Peterman roll collar sweater and Zubaz sweat pants on Sunday when he says “hello friends”
Paging Jim Nantz.
-David Feherty says anything remotely critical of the players
-Feherty says anything remotely interesting that isn’t him being a total fanboy
-Frank Nobilo is shown wearing an eye patch with a peg leg
-If the over on the over/under of 100 for “how many times will they mention that Ben Crenshaw won 20 years ago” take a drink
-If the over on the over/under of 11 billionty of “how many times will they mention “azaleas”, “dogwoods” and “pine straw”
-If someone says “gallery” or “fans” and you don’t hear gunfire within 10 seconds or “GET HIM!”
Take TWO drinks if any of the following happen:
-Dan Jenkins is found passed out on the Hogan bridge with a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 wearing nothing but a purple TCU thong
At least I didn’t photoshop Dan Jenkins wearing them
-Jim Nantz forgets to put pants on for the Butler Cabin ceremony and we find out his boxer shorts say “hello friends” on the back AND the front because that’s how he rolls
-If anyone finds out that “the crows nest” is actually Masters Chairman Hootie Johnson’s safe word
-If an amateur is within three shots of the lead on the back nine on Sunday
-Phil Mickelson takes less than 10 seconds to explain a bad shot
-Tiger Woods spends longer than 10 seconds explaining a round higher than 75 that doesn’t involve the word “process” and “speed”
-If anyone is seen throwing or breaking a club on Saturday or Sunday
-If you hear an audible profanity on Sunday and there aren’t at least two dozen apologies within two minutes
Take THREE drinks if any of the following happen during Sunday:
-Tiger, Phil, Rory and Mike Weir are tied for the lead at any point on Sunday
-Ian Poulter shoots a final round score above par and doesn’t go on Twitter or post a photo of his private plane
-Adam Scott is in contention and Ian Baker Finch is seen following the other leaders with a tire iron.
-Jim Nantz fails to show up but is found wearing ass-less chaps and a “Sun’s Out, Guns Out” tank top and singing with his new band with John Daly and the entire staff of the Augusta Hooters and their first record is due out in June.
-Bubba Watson shows up for his final round and his driver has no pink on it.
Take FIVE drinks if any of the following happens:
-If the Masters decides to go to “Brass Bonanza” as their melody.
If CBS can’t find Brass Bonanza, let me assist. You’re welcome. Make it happen!
My Prediction? Pain. My other prediction? A top 10 that will feature Speith, Reed, Westwood, McIlroy,
As I settled in last night to watch the (allegedly) drunken debauchery that was the NHL All Star Fantasy Draft (starting in 2011 the league skipped their old East/West and North America/World formats and chose teams via fantasy draft), I took away a few things- for one, it looked like everyone was having fun, and two- why can’t the PGA Tour do something similar?
If Tiger Woods was doing this the Internet would explode
So armed with that idea, a piece of paper, a pen, and a barely functioning brain, I came up with a plan- the 1st Annual LPGA-PGA Tour All Star Weekend!
We have a trade to announce…see ya Phil.
Each Tour selects their best 12 players. Players that are nominated but decline are deducted FedEx Cup points/CME Globe points. Players that show up get the equivalent of a top 10 finish in a marquee event and guaranteed status for two years (same as winning an event).
Take one of the spring events. For some reason I keep thinking Dallas would be a great “first option”…some time in April (after the Masters in that nine week period between the Masters and the US Open).
Pick two playing captains…don’t overthink it. Mickelson and Woods? Sure! Think high profile. Have fun with it.
Each team picks 12 players (6 men, 6 women). You know…like, oh, I don’t know…the Solheim, Ryder, and Presidents Cups? Have the “draft” on television. I’m dead certain the Golf Channel would show it. Allow a trade? Hell yes! Encourage drinking? Oh hell yes! Have Feherty or someone similar act as emcee. When they go on stage they get their team bag and shirt (you make up bags for each team…the unused ones get raffled off for The First Tee or Donors Choose (have fans vote among a few selected charities). The last player picked gets a car.
Format? Team format, obviously. Day one (Friday)- everyone plays one round of fourballs (teams are one man/one woman). Day two (Saturday)? everyone plays one round of foursomes (alternate shot). Day three (Sunday)? Match play. Have the women play the odd numbered games, the men the even (so women take slots 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, the men 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12). Tied? Putting contest on the 18th green as to who can make the longest putt. I’d chop down the rough. We’re encouraging birdies and eagles here.
Nobody has to play 36 holes in a day. The winning team gets FedEx/CME Globe points. Shit, I’d let ’em ride carts if they want to. I’d even let it be known quietly that a little on-course wagering won’t offend anyone’s tender mercies. Everyone at this event is wearing a mic.
But what of tradition, you say? Please. You’re telling me that a tournament wouldn’t want this in lieu of a pedestrian 72-hole event? People would buy tickets and quite happily (in fact, my guess is that a lot of places would be happy to host something like this).
It’s still golf. Would you like to see, say, Rickie Fowler and Michelle Wie as teammates for a day or some tournament that nobody cares about?
Besides, isn’t the whole point of this to be entertaining?
As we bid farewell to the 2014 season and look ahead to 2015, your friends at Single Golfer in Cart have a few wishes for the upcoming year in golf.
It’s a new year!
-Christmas is a great time for new clubs to find their way into one’s hands (and if I’m honest the new Titleist 915 woods look pretty good), and certainly, this means you’ll want to get to a driving range and get in a few wallops before taking them out on the course for the first time. So when you do go to the driving range, be respectful of those around you. If you’re a natural Chatty Charlie or Chatty Cathy, maybe don’t plop yourself next to people who are hitting balls quietly. Find a quiet end of the range and have at it.
-To that point, unless your last name is Haney, Pelz, or Harmon (and you’re a PGA Professional) avoid giving lessons to random strangers based on something you saw on The Golf Channel. Michael Breed looks and acts like a guy who teaches golf between doing meth; he’s also a licenced PGA Professional. You’re not.
Notice the lack of unsolicited advice
-My wish list would be incomplete without wishing for an early start to spring and a fall that allows courses to stay open and enjoy a fruitful year.
-If you’ve decided to take up the game, welcome to this wonderful game, and might I say you have great taste in golf websites! While learning the mechanics of the game is important, so is key fundamentals like pace of play and etiquette. Read up on these things. You can find cheap books (and even e-books) on golf etiquette. You’ll play better, have more fun, and make a ton of friends.
-I’d like to see local courses start enforcing a true time par relative to the day of week and time of day, and actually enforce it by speaking to groups. Helping people play faster helps the game as a whole.
-I’d like Fox Sports to decide if they’re serious about golf or not. Their initial foray into golf was a complete disaster, and the next time it’ll be at the US Open on a course that has never hosted a professional tournament.
-I’d like to see courses enforce a 2-minute time limit on lost balls, and a rule that if you carry one of those ball retrievers I can kick you in the raisins if you deploy it.
-Given the success that the NHL has had with the Winter Classic and outdoor games in general, I’d like to see the PGA Tour have an event that sets up to finish at night (they did this with the late 90’s/early 2000’s exhibition matches). I’ve played at courses that are lit for night play- it’s a different element. Spare me the sanctity of “oh, we can’t do that”…because that’s complete bullshit. Nobody is using a gutta percha ball anymore (hell nobody uses a balata ball anymore), and nobody uses persimmon woods. I’m not saying have a major do this…pick an event (Dallas or Phoenix come to mind), and have ’em finish at night under the lights.
-I’d like to see the USGA adopt bifurcation with respect to wedge grooves and the long putters. No other sport forces amateurs to play by the same rules as professionals.
-I hope that the final rounds of the four majors of the men’s tours all have excitement and drama, and it’d be nice to see Phil Mickelson finally win a US Open.
-Similar for the vastly-underrated LPGA Tour; I’d love to see Christina Kim win a major and Michelle Wie find a second major. Seeing both on the Solheim Cup would make for a must-watch event.
Let’s see this in 2015
-I’d like to see the Howard County courses pull their collective heads out of where they don’t belong, and embrace who they are. The county needs them. Looking at you, Timbers at Troy and Waverly Woods.
-I’d like to play several courses I haven’t played before…maybe I can finally get my way up to Bulle Rock.
-I’d like to have at least one round at 75 or lower.
-I’d like to make a hole in one.
-I’d like everyone to have their best year ever, and enjoy every round.
My new favourite music video featuring Paul Rubens (Pee Wee Herman) as a race car driver:
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