From an HD camera using super-slo-mo.

The USGA’s inability to organize a lemonade stand, much less conduct a golf tournament, aired its ugly head yet again on Sunday over it’s inability to reasonably administer the rules or do anything remotely close to right during a playoff between Anna Nordqvist and Brittany Lang.  If the last two men’s US Opens weren’t damning evidence of the utter incompetence on display from the USGA, yesterday’s playoff has to permanently disqualify the USGA from conducting professional tournaments.

Shall we count the screw-ups?

1) Despite playing just south of San Jose, California, the USGA and Fox decided to play all four rounds in threesomes with a 2-tee start.  It’s not the first two days that are the issue, but for no reason than to accommodate television, the weekend rounds met the same fate.  Unless storms were forecast (and they weren’t), there’s no reason to do this.  The tournament finished by 4pm PT (if Fox can’t commit to allowing twosomes playing holes 1-18 in that order on the weekends, they should get out of the business of televising golf).  The men would have never been put in this circumstance.  What next- why not have a goddamn shotgun start with foursomes?

2) Pace of play.  If the USGA is going to enforce the rules, then enforce all of them.  This includes pace of play.  Granted, it’s partially on them for having threesomes, but at some point, the women need to stop with this never-ending pre-shot routines and having caddies spending seemingly forever in lining up putts.  To put a group on the clock and then not enforce a second bad time…if we’re doing that then what other rules are we going to ignore?  Not that the men aren’t exactly speed demons (looking at you, Jordan Spieth and Jason Day).  Either you enforce a shot clock, or a time par (miss it and everyone in the group gets a stroke penalty), or we’ll have more 6-hour rounds.

3) Different standards.  The women’s US Open has rightly gone to a 3-hole aggregate score playoff (this week’s Open Championship has a 4-hole playoff, the PGA Championship has a 3-hole playoff, the Masters is sudden death).  As countless others have opined, the idea of the men having an 18-hole playoff the next day is ridiculous.  It is shameful to send tens of thousands of fans home on Sunday night without a winner.  A 3 or 4-hole playoff (with time built in) allows this to happen.  For an organization that talks about gender equality, they’re conducting their national championship with entirely different standards for no reason (and if I were running tennis the four majors would play best-of-five sets for the championship for the women (like the men)).

4) Diana Murphy. You literally have one job on Sunday…make a quick speech and hand the trophy to the winner.  Maybe lay off the booze until afterwards, or maybe buy some index cards and before you go to the podium, have someone who is sober and has a brain WRITE DOWN the name of the winner, the runner-up, and the low amateur.  This is THEIR moment, not yours.  Your job is to literally not be an incompetent jackass, and so far you’re 0-for-2.

5) The Playoff Penalty.  I do find it curious that in PGA Tour events, we rarely, if ever, see issues like this pop up.  There was one earlier this year with Camilo Villegas at the Hilton Head event, and an official came out, made a ruling, and they got on with things. Why is this so difficult?  As I see it, there are two issues going on:

a) As TSN’s Mark Zecchino pointed out, the grounding the club in a hazard rule was designed to prevent players from building a stance.  It was never designed to determine if a player grazed sand that would need HD cameras and super-slo-mo technology to determine if the club touched the sand.  Looking at the replay, while there’s no doubt (using HD cameras and super slo-mo technology) that Anna Nordqvist grounded her club going off of the letter of the rule.  Intent?  No chance in hell.  Put it this way- if I was playing a match I would never call that penalty, nor would I want my opponent to call it.

b) Timing.  Until golf goes to an NRL-style bunker or a tennis-style review that can be instantaneous, we’re left with farcical means of letting players know.  If there was a question, the rules official should have stopped play (they were in a playoff so it wasn’t like they were holding anyone up) and taken a look.  I watch NRL games and the official reviews are pretty well done (as a fan, you can see what they’re reviewing and the camera angles they’re using along with the dialogue between them and the match official).  However, critics complain about what can/can’t be reviewed and how far back in the play they can review.  See below:

What you can’t have, in any sense, is a player not knowing if he/she is going to be penalized, nor can you have their competitors not knowing the result.  What made Nordqvist’s penalty worse is that the USGA waited until she hit her third shot (but not her competitor), so there wasn’t an equity of information.  The technology exists to make these rulings fairly quickly.  Either you embrace the available technology or you don’t, but you can’t have it both ways.  Either use it, or don’t.

As I have said repeatedly, it’s time for the USGA to turn things over to the PGA Tour, European Tour and LPGA/LET Tours to run.  The idea of having rank amateurs as officials simply isn’t good enough.  Even in tennis (closest comparable), while the lines people might be locals, the chair umpires are from the ATP/WTA tours.  Known entities.  The player challenge system in tennis is seamless, takes less than 10 seconds, and is handled electronically.  Ball is in or the ball is out.  Simple.

Okay everyone, now let’s go outside and do this all over again!

What should be one of the easiest tournaments to cover given the 60+ years of experience that CBS has with covering the Masters proved that experience isn’t always worthwhile, as viewers were treated (or more correctly subjected to) to the worst coverage of this tournament in recent memory.  Which is puzzling, because unlike the myriad of mistakes Fox made in covering last year’s US Open, CBS can’t claim to be new at this.  The only visible change was David Feherty leaving for NBC and bringing in Dottie Pepper (and she was anything but a problem).

Nobody is expecting CBS to have hard-hitting critical feature pieces on Augusta National’s membership policies, and certainly they weren’t going to criticize the course setup (even if you could argue they should have made some modifications relative to hole locations) on Saturday given the heavy wind.  Augusta National, as is their right, keeps things on a tight rein (if they opened up the tournament to outside bids it would likely alter the sport’s television landscape), but at some point, CBS has to ask themselves how in the heck did a network that covers more weekend golf than any other network make such fundamental errors?

Did someone slip their production team narcotics or something?

Where to start…let’s start with the easiest thing.

1) TRY SHOWING LIVE GOLF, WHICH WOULD MEAN ACTUAL SHOTS…you know, live.  Sunday was “marginally” better than Saturday, but if you were in some drinking game and “this was from just a moment ago” was on your card, you’re lucky if you’re still alive.

2) Once they start the telecast, there should be a quick here’s where we are (quick should be 30-60 seconds at most), and then start showing live golf as soon as possible.

3) Join the 21st century and add a leader-board on the screen at all times (of all the mistakes Fox made last year at the US Open, they got this right).  People tune in at all times, and this is something people expect (every other sport has it).  The major team sports, NASCAR, the pro tennis tours all have this.  It’s time for golf to embrace this on a full-time basis and surely during the major championships (when viewership is at its highest).  If NBC is reading this, they need to make sure that this happens during their Olympic coverage.

4) Another thing would be to have Trackman/Pro Tracer.  It’s become a staple of golf broadcasts, and it doesn’t clutter up the screen.  If anything, it gives the viewer information (Fox used it last year at the US Open and it worked).  While they did a nice job of trying to show the elevation changes and enhanced flyovers of holes, the Trackman/Pro Tracer gives the viewer a greatly enhanced view of tee shots.  Hell, call it whatever you want to call it (call it Masters Tracer) and I can certainly understand ANGC not wanting a corporate sponsor’s name attached (much like they sell refreshments without the name brand attached), but this seems like something that can easily be worked out (and given the audience that tunes in, it’s a great way to give the bigger audience something extra).

5) At some point, that Butler Cabin ceremony has to get blown up.  This year’s was particularly bad.  Can we please lose the CBS blazers?  This isn’t the 1970’s.  I think we all get that Jim “Hello Friends” Nantz works for CBS.  I understand that CBS wants to finish on time, but this isn’t the John Deere Classic we’re talking about.  Maybe push 60 Minutes to an 8pm ET start and have a proper wrap-up.  As a viewer, I’d much rather have one ceremony on the 18th green.  An example of what I am talking about is what the Open Championship does.  See below.

Honor the low amateur (I like that ANGC does this and want it to continue) like they already do and let Billy Payne preside over this (the video above does not show the low amateur award presentation but there was one) by himself.  The ceremony is perfect and would take 10-15 minutes and would let the patrons see the Green Jacket ceremony and not having to endure a reenactment.  What’s noticeably absent is anyone trying to interview them.  If you’re going to have someone conduct an interview, let Peter Kostis handle it- he does this on a weekly basis and is frankly better at it than Nantz (the players are used to Kostis so there’s a built-in trust factor).

6) I don’t know what has to happen in order for a player to be penalized for slow play (unless John Paramour is the official), but this year was particularly terrible.  I understand that CBS is under a short leash, but at some point they need to be willing to point out that Jordan Spieth was put on the clock for slow play, to the point that I doubt they would have been able to get a playoff hole in, had Spieth been able to recover from his quadruple bogey on the 12th hole.  I know that The Masters has gotten extremely lucky with regard to playoffs and not running out of daylight, but yesterday really cut it short.   You have close to a double figure of commentators, and not one of them can point out how painfully slow the likes of Jordan Spieth and Jason Day are?

7) Viewers in Canada and the UK were able to watch the Masters.com streams on TSN and Sky Sports (on lower channels, not on their main channel).  CBS couldn’t have put these on CBS Sports Network (this is the online coverage before the 3pm/2pm coverage starts) or even ESPN (who have the Thursday/Friday rights)?  Golf Channel airs early-round weekend coverage before the networks take over.  Leave the streaming on Masters.com but simulcast it as well.

8) Back on the slow-play beat…I asked Alan Shipnuck of Golf.com and Sports Illustrated about slow play (italics mine):

GOLF.com Retweeted Solo Golfer in Cart

GOLF.com added,

This morning Deadspin republished this, a scathing article about Augusta National Golf Club and comparing it to North Korea, which is more than bit hyperbolic.  I normally enjoy Deadspin’s coverage (although their immediate concern might be the $140mm that their parent company owes Hulk Hogan); they’re to be commended for some of their work even when they have rightly and correctly point out the various foibles of my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs (love them to no end but when they screw up they should be called out on it).  This piece isn’t in that ballpark.  By a large degree.

With that being said, I’ve always viewed The Masters Tournament favorably, mostly because of what it is and isn’t.   First off, if you misbehave at Augusta National they will politely but firmly escort you off the premises.  Do that in North Korea and you’re looking at a long prison sentence.  Sorry but there’s no comparison.  Hell, if you lived in North Korea and wrote something that critical of their government you’d be sent to a prison camp and your family would likely suffer a similar fate.  I don’t think Billy Payne is rounding up journalists who’ve been critical of their doings and sending them to prison camps.  They simply aren’t invited back.

A better comparison might be how most TV networks are not quick to be critical of the institutions whose TV rights they control.  See how ESPN isn’t exactly lining up hit pieces on the NFL (or any network that has rights), or how Fox has all of a sudden grown awfully quiet about the shit-show that is FIFA.  While we’re at it, NBC hasn’t exactly been at the forefront of being critical of the IOC and the literal shit-show that the Rio Olympics could well turn into.  This isn’t new.

However, having seen more than my fair share of stupidity and violence in the stands, I’d welcome measures to make my spectating experience better.  I last attended an NFL game in 2000 hosted by the Burgundy and Gold who play at FedEx Field (and while we’re at it watching the local networks tiptoe around that team’s numerous screw-ups and tone-deaf ownership is laughable).  The sheer amount of violence, threats, fistfights, and a total lack of control on display at FedEx field security (and whatever police presence there was) made me fear for my physical safety (hearing three obviously intoxicated “fans” yelling ‘RAPE THAT FILTHY C***’ to a woman who happened to be a fan of the other team and wondering at what point does this go from disgusting to unworthy of allowing people to attend).  You could pay me cash and I will never, ever again set foot in an NFL stadium.  My guess is that female Masters patrons don’t (nor should they ever have to) endure this spectacle.

Unlike most televised sporting events, you don’t get inundated with 18-20 minutes of commercials per hour when watching on television.  The Masters puts a tight limit on that, which means you’re seeing more golf which is presumably why you tune in.  Compare that to the flood of commercials during any other championship event.

The writer also complained about the tight curbs that Augusta National places on the announcers, noting that Gary McCord was excused from being part of their coverage because he made his infamous “their greens aren’t mowed they’re bikini waxed” quip in 1994.  While I’ll politely say I disagree with the decision, their contract that they have with CBS gives them this control.  Ask Les Moonves if he’s willing to stop doing business with Augusta National; NBC/Golf Channel would be in front of Billy Payne in a nanosecond begging to get the rights and would back a brinks truck up to do so.  With ESPN having 1st and 2nd round coverage, this contract also means no Chris Berman, for which I’m grateful.  I’m also grateful that the announcers don’t ramble on incoherently.  Let the pictures tell a story; this isn’t radio.

I had to endure Fox putting on a 4-day clinic of How Not To Cover a Major Championship last June, where their announcers weren’t exactly free-flowing in their criticisms of the golf course and the USGA.  If you think Augusta National is the only entity that does this sort of thing, I’ve got some ocean-front real estate in Saskatchewan for sale.

While we’re on that subject, there are a lot of people who complain that Augusta National limits TV coverage, and would like to see the kind of all-day coverage you see during the US Open.  I’ll admit to being torn.  On the one hand, it would certainly draw ratings and CBS/ESPN would love to be able to show day-long action.  However, there is a case to be made that this is a value proposition for the people who have tickets.  Hear me out.  If you attend the Super Bowl in person, you’re really not seeing much that isn’t able to be seen on TV.  Tack on everything else and going to a Super Bowl is frankly as unfriendly towards paying customers as any sporting event (I can watch for free at home where I’m not waiting in a 20-minute line to use the washroom, the food’s cheaper and better at home, and if I miss something I can rewind, not to mention the almost-guaranteed fistfights that occur in the stands).  I understand both sides of this argument.

Yes- Augusta National puts dye in the water, and will do what they have to do to ensure the Azaleas bloom during the week of the tournament.  NFL teams will paint their grass green (the ones that haven’t gone to synthetic turf) so it looks good on TV and MLB teams mow cute patterns into their outfield grass.  Shouldn’t they do what they can to have the best visuals possible when people tune in to watch (for the Rio Olympics I’m hoping they can get the feces out of the water)?  Not everyone does what the USGA does and intentionally lets the course go brown because they refuse to water it (only further taxing the turf as it means they’ll have to commit a huge effort to get the course back to normal) under this folly of trying to show that they don’t use a lot of water for the golf course.  It’s like skipping breakfast and then eating two lunches and two dinners.

The writer also points out that Augusta National has a lengthy list of rules that they expect their patrons (or fans) to abide by.  Funny thing- the US Open has a very similar list (as does the Open Championship, PGA Championship and the Ryder Cup), except that the US Open and the Open Championship are more lenient about mobile phones (or they will be until some clown’s phone goes off in the middle of someone’s back swing with the tournament on the line).  If you can’t go for several hours without your mobile phone, then maybe golf isn’t for you (hint- you can go without your mobile phone).  Not for anything but Augusta National does have pay phones on premises for people to use.  While we’re on the subject, patrons can set up a chair at one of the greens, leave for a few hours (or heck- get up to use the washrooms), come back and that chair won’t be moved or occupied.  Any other place that chair would be discarded or occupied.  Oh, and you can’t run.  Nothing wrong with that- do we really want to see a stampede of people?  We see this on Black Friday every year…isn’t that enough?

While we’re on the subject of fan (patron) behavior, if keeping the idiot brigade out means I can go one week without a bunch of idiots yelling random crap, I’m all for it.  Somehow, cheering on your favorite player has turned into making yourself part of the scene.  I tune in to watch great golf, not hear Drunky McStupid or some other over-served Golf-Bro yell “Mashed Potatoes” or whatever the hell else they think will get them on YouTube or Sportscenter.  You also (mostly) avoid this at the Open Championship because the Brits (thankfully) aren’t having it.  I love the loud cheers and roars for great shots, but the inbred hayseed cousin of the “YOUDAMAN!!!” needs to go away.  If Spieth hits it to 6 inches or Fowler pipes one 375 yards, cheer as loud as you want, but remember- the players are the thing.  Not you.  Oh, you can’t bring banners or flags?  Too bad.  They end up obstructing the view of other fans.

Food and concessions prices are notoriously cheap at The Masters; you could eat the entire menu for $54.00.  You could eat a reasonable meal off their menu for less than $6.00.  A hot dog and a beer at most ballparks will set you back $15-$20.  Ticket prices are downright reasonable.  A weekly badge has a face value of $325.00.  Let’s compare that with the Open Championship (priced at GBP260, or roughly US$366).  The PGA Championship will run you $420, while the US Open will run you $450.  And for what it’s worth, I priced the basic “grounds only” tickets.

Now let’s talk about their membership policy.  Last I checked, they’re a private club.  It’s their business.  This is how private clubs work.  Get over it.  Private clubs have existed and will continue to exist (the Masons, the Elks Lodge, Moose Lodge and the Friars Club are all non-golf examples as is every college Fraternity and Sorority).  I worked at a private country club as a caddie for two summers- at no point did they commit felonious acts on new members as some “initiation” process.  Every year you read about some college frat that ends up killing one of their pledges, and Logan, Connor, Dylan and the like get mommy and daddy to buy their way out of jail when these criminals should be doing 10-20 years and have to deal with being a convicted felon.  Do I like the fact that clubs like Bethesda’s Burning Tree (which is men-only and notoriously female-unfriendly) exist?  No, but this is their problem and not mine (their membership is old and dying).  Augusta National has welcomed women and minorities, and yes, it’s taken them far too long to do it.  Progress, however, is being made.  The club is seasonal (it’s closed from mid-May through early October) so it’s not the same as a club in the sun belt that is open year-round.  They’re selective with their membership, but most private clubs operate similarly (they invite people that they’d like to join their ranks).

The writer also brought up Martha Burk.  I live with She Who is Really In Charge, and we’ve been together for some time.  If you ask 1000 women, I’ll bet cash that most of them would rather earn the same as their male counterparts than earn 77 cents and get to enjoy seeing a single digit of women enjoy membership at Augusta National (ask women if you don’t believe me).  It’s not that golf memberships aren’t important, but let’s get that wage gap closed and then start worrying about a seasonal golf club membership.  Augusta National is never going to have a giant membership; they’ve made improvements (and while you can argue it’s moved to slowly, at least they are making progress).  As more and more women become successful at the highest levels of industry (a good thing) you’ll see them in private clubs (and not for anything but I’m glad to see more and more clubs taking a progressive approach to memberships) as they understand the value of meeting people on the golf course.

The author also glosses over the Drive, Chip and Putt contest (open to kids and broken into age groups) that’s held at Augusta National on the Sunday before the tournament starts.  Open to all who qualify, it’s a fantastic event that has turned into a great opportunity to get kids interested in the game.  They didn’t have to start this, but they did.  If you’re going to point out all that is wrong, then let’s point out things that they get right.  I don’t see the other majors having something similar.

The author does go to great lengths to point out that the founders of Augusta National were control freaks who weren’t on the right side of history.  I don’t disagree, but last I checked, both are dead.  I’ll point out that you could go through just about any group of men in that area with a business interest in sports and find some unsavory characters (Conn Smythe of my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs was horribly racist, and former owner Harold Ballard was a terrible human being on any level- both men are gone and I’m thrilled).  George Steinbrenner had a horrible past.  Donald Sterling was a laughable racist idiot and was so for decades but nobody seemed to care.  Daniel Snyder is a horrible person and yet the local sportscasters here dare not speak ill of him.  To act like Augusta National Golf Club had a monopoly on unsavory people is incredibly naive and grossly incompetent.

So enjoy the Masters.  It may not be perfect, but then neither am I.