Tag: Sports (page 2 of 8)

Golf Course Closures Explained

April 30, 2020 / / 0 Comments

One of these things isn’t like the other one. See if you can guess.

I’m angry.  There.  I said it.  I’m angry at bullshit hucksters like Malcolm Gladwell who thinks golf should be “banned”, and Silicon Valley douchebros (I worked in Silicon Valley; there isn’t anything these morons can’t ruin with their “ideas”) who hate golf (because they’re not any good at it (unless they’re a member at one of the more exclusive private clubs in the Bay Area), and they want golf courses turfed so they can fuck the land up with their own stupidity and incompetence in the same way they’ve operated for the last 25 years).

Golf is a form of outdoor exercise and is a sport.  It can be played with social distancing and with next to zero risk to anyone playing (a number of course maintenance teams have come up with genius level ways to avoid making contact with things, including not raking bunkers).  Green fees mean revenue which means employees get paid and the money circulates within the state.  Pretty simple, really.

I’m angry that with all this (alleged) intelligence we’re staring food shortages in the face because with all of their brainpower and whatnot, and they can’t figure out how to safely process and deliver food (you have millions of pounds of potatoes left to rot and meat shortages because nobody thought to spend a few bucks on food safety or the people feeding the country).  The most basic and simple thing in the world and we’ve fucked that up in less than 2 months.  Bravo.

And I’m angry with our Governor (Larry Hogan), who seems too busy getting dolled up to go on TV and pump his own tires to see the bigger picture (the makeup and glasses show you care, I suppose).  Winning two races against poster children for “how not to run a gubernatorial campaign” shouldn’t count for much but here we are.  But this is a golf website.  Onward.

If you look at the map above, you’ll notice that 45 states currently allow golf in some form or another, and 5 that don’t.  Nevada, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, and of course Maryland because reasons.

This is not a “but muh golf” complaint.  It’s pointing out that Larry’s measures are like trying to stop a train with a fishing net.  I’ll stick with facts:

  1. I “could” be wrong, but near as I can tell, there isn’t a Simpsons Movie style dome over the state which means that travel to and from other states is permitted.  Let’s go on, shall we?
  2. If I’m on the Eastern Shore, I can play at Baywood Greens but none of the Ocean City courses.  We’re talking about 15-20 minutes distance (by car).  Is the environment at Links @ Lighthouse Sound that bad by comparison?  If it is, then by all means keep it closed!
  3. Bulle Rock is closed, but all of the courses in Philly are (mostly) open.
  4. Greystone in northern Baltimore County…nope.  Keep going another 20-25 minutes up I-83 and courses are open in PA.  Does Pennsylvania have magic non-COVID air that they’re hoarding?  Damn air-hoarders.
  5. Lodestone in far western MD is closed but again, I can truck into WV, OH or PA and tee it up.  Who’s right and who’s wrong here?
  6. I could hop in my car, cross a bridge and be in Virginia where courses are open.  Some mighty good tracks in the commonwealth.
  7. Same for North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Ohio, New York, New Jersey.
  8. I could fly out to California or Arizona where courses are, for the most part, open.  Flights are bookable as are hotels.
  9. The entire midwest and it’s vast array of really good courses.  Willing to wager places in MN, TX, IA, etc. would gladly take my money.  Assuming that I don’t decide to live there for the rest of my life, how exactly is this keeping people safe?

My point is that there’s no consistency on how things are being applied (and the devil is ALWAYS in the details).  Either golf is an outdoor activity that can take place or it’s unsafe and should be shut down.  Both arguments have validity but you can’t have both.  Just pick a lane.  That’s all I ask.

 

COVID-19 updates (what courses are and aren’t open)

March 18, 2020 / / 0 Comments

My new weekend morning scripting.

Just as we were getting into the start of the season, things have taken a horrible turn with the pandemic from the Coronavirus (i.e. COVID-19).  PLEASE follow the new guidelines set in place and anything from the CDC.

So real quick, here’s what is (and isn’t) open in terms of local courses as of 3/17/2020.  Not trying to persuade or dissuade anyone from playing, but I’d suggest verifying specifics.

Waverly Woods: currently open.

Fairway Hills: closed

Hobbits Glen: closed

Timbers at Troy: currently open.

Baltimore County (Greystone, Rocky Point, Fox Hollow, etc.): open (Greystone grill may be closed)

Baltimore City (Forest Park, Mount Pleasant, Carroll Park, etc.): open for now.

Montgomery County Golf (Northwest, Little Bennett, Rattlewood, Hampshire Greens, Poolesville, Laytonsville, Sligo Creek, Hampshire Greens): Open for now (no on-course water, credit cards only, no rakes, flags stay in).

Links at Challendon: currently open

Compass Pointe: currently open.

Renditions: currently open

University of MD golf course: closed as of 3/18

Oak Creek: currently open

Lake Presidential: currently open

Blue Mash: currently open.

Worthington Manor: currently open.

Musket Ridge: currently open.

Maryland National: currently open.

Whiskey Creek: currently open.

PB Dye: currently open (aerated greens 3/2-3/4)

Hopefully you’re able to get out there and tee it up.  Stay healthy and be safe.

Hope to see you out there.  I’m not normally Mr. Grumpy Pants.

Sports Movies You Should See, Ranked

February 24, 2020 / / 0 Comments

First off, to say I’m thrilled that the area will be hosting the PGA Tour’s BMW Championship in August 2021 at Caves Valley is an understatement.  Not having a regular tour stop in the area has been awful, so I’m very pleased that for at least one year we will see the best of the PGA Tour.  You know what would be even better?  A regular LPGA tour stop in the area, or even a Champions Tour slot.  As you were.

So I had this movie-themed piece in my head slated to go because I thought the Oscars would be in late February, but for some reason they were earlier.  Rather than put some half-ass effort into it, I decided to wait, and put something out that would be up to the kind of quality you’ve come to expect.

Mention sports movies and immediately people think of the tried and true.  I suppose that they’re okay, but as with most things, I find that by digging deeper you find better.  You find complexity, storytelling, and everything we love about movies.  No particular order here.  Just nine sports movies you may have not seen that you should consider watching:

  1. Fever Pitch (1997).  Take the 2005 baseball-themed remake starring Jimmy Fallon and light it on fire.  The original “should” be on any soccer fan’s ‘must watch’ especially if you’re newish.  Taken from Nick Hornby’s excellent book (with some significant departures), it details Colin Firth’s character as a schoolteacher by day/obsessed fan of Arsenal in during the 1988-89 season, which includes mentions about the Hillsborough disaster.  Great soundtrack.  Other films have done pieces about obsessed fans but they’re much darker.  This one is almost comedic.  Good enough to make you forget that they tried to make another version that was baseball centric.
  2. North Dallas Forty (1979).  Taken from Peter Gent’s excellent novel (but with one super-major part of the book deleted).  Nick Nolte plays a broken-down wide receiver on the mythical North Dallas Bulls.  First sports film to highlight rampant drug use (recreational and prescription), alcohol abuse, etc.  Not kid friendly.  The game scenes are at best not good, but it was the first film to show you how the sausage was made.  So many films owe a debt of gratitude to North Dallas Forty.
  3. The Damned United (2009).  Michael Sheen plays football manager Brian Clough; the film jumps around but centres around his 40+ day stint replacing Don Revie as Leeds United manager.   Sheen is nothing short of amazing as Clough as is Colm Meaney as Don Revie.  A great look at life in the 1970’s.  Game scenes are pretty good despite a couple minor errors.  Sheen looks, sounds and walks like Clough.  As good as Kurt Russell did playing Herb Brooks in Miracle, Sheen’s role of Clough is better.
  4. Dead Solid Perfect (1989).   Someone at Golf Channel/Comcast should acquire the rights to this.   It’s largely a mystery film at this point.  Taken from Dan Jenkins’ novel, it does a better job of storytelling than the other golf films.  Some of the production work isn’t great but it’s about 1000 miles better than a lot of golf movies.  Actually it’s the best.  Randy Quaid is outstanding, which isn’t something I would ever think I’d write.
  5. Goon (2012).  As someone who loves hockey, I admit that most hockey movies don’t do it for me.  Slap Shot’s hockey scenes are terrible and the sequels are beyond terrible.  I’d rather eat sand than watch the Mighty Ducks films (again-the hockey scenes are terrible).  Miracle was underwhelming despite having access to the actual game footage/audio.  Goon is…good.  Two scenes in particular; the bus scene after a loss hit a nerve, and the coffee shop scene (though a dead lift from the beyond outstanding ‘Heat’) was well done.  The on-ice scenes are good and the drinking/drug subculture was dealt with sufficiently well.
  6. The Final Winter (2007).  Was introduced to this film third-hand; rugby league film that deals with then-professional team Newtown Jets and how the lead character deals with his club (and the game) changing on him.  Anyone who’s felt that the changes in the game of their preferred sport will appreciate it.  Beautifully shot.  Any fan of a team that has been close to folding/moving will relate.
  7. Raging Bull (1980).  Sorry, Rocky.  This film (perfectly shot in black & white) is everything sports films aspire to.  DeNiro is outstanding.
  8. Personal Best (1982).  Deals with a track and field star (played by Muriel Hemmingway) dealing with a raft of issues as she tries to make the 1980 US Olympic team (that would end up boycotting the Moscow Olympics).  Again- not a family friendly film in any possible way (there is a ton of nudity and sexual content), but it tells stories that were previously not discussed.  Really shows the psyche of an elite athlete.  Bonus content for using Charley Jones during the Olympic Trials scenes.  The voice will be familiar to older viewers.
  9. Bang The Drum Slowly (1973).  Adapted from Mark Harris’ novel from the 1950’s.  Baseball scenes aren’t the best, but it’s terrific storytelling that is authentic and doesn’t feel contrived.

Honorable mention: The Natural (1984), The Rocket (2005), The Wrestler (2008), Any Given Sunday (1999).

SGIC’s Rage-Fueled Guide to the 2019 Golf Digest Holiday Guide

December 6, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Linus is hoping everyone enjoys the holiday season!

What a year 2019 has been.  Stop for a moment and let’s reflect on everything that has happened over the last 12 months.  I’m sitting here by the fireplace having a cup of hot cocoa* (I’m drinking my fifth tumbler of rye on the rocks but calling it cocoa) while my dog snores and farts.  What could possibly make this frigid evening better?  Why it’s the arrival of the 2019 Golf Digest Holiday Gift Guide!  Behold!

Unlike last year, there are no leggings or pantaloons of any kind.  I DEMAND PANTALOONS.  In tartan, of course.  I want tartan everything.  GIVE ME YOUR FINEST TARTAN!  MOISTURE WICKING TARTAN!

Since there is no tartan, the people at Golf Digest have been busy at work putting together a list of items that they believe are what golfers want for the holidays (they are, as usual, wrong).  So let’s take a look at the fine offerings that have been curated for my discerning taste, shall we?

And like last year, much thanks to Drew Magary for inspiring this.  Hopefully you land on your feet and are blessed with many ramekins of delicious treats.

Beats Solo 3 Wireless Headphones

Beats Solo 3 Wireless Headphones

Price: $200.

They say: A look, feel and sound that’s bold— even if your music isn’t. The fine-tuned acoustics will make any track bounce.

SGIC says: The human clown car wearing headphones that appear to be from the Guy Fieri collection is going to be an absolute delight for that 7-hour round, but that’s okay while Logan listens to some godforsaken world music while taking 4 minutes to miss a six-footer for a triple bogey.  The social skills of a fence post, four practice swings, taking pictures of EVERYTHING (for the ‘gram, naturally) and the inability to break 120 come standard with these.  Unless you’re dropping that bass at the club during your DJ gig these are a total waste.  It’s as bad as assholes who wear Apple Air Buds everywhere.

Demerbox Game Day DB2 Speaker

Demerbox Game Day DB2 Speaker

Price: $349

They say: Built into a durable pelican case, this waterproof outdoor speaker delivers storage and professional-grade sound quality in an ultra-portable design.

SGIC says: To quote from Judge Smails, CUT THAT OUT!  $350 for something that looks like an emergency repair kit you’d keep in your car?  Is listening to Nickelback really that big of a deal?  I point this out because it’s an absolute guarantee that people who insist on taking something like this with them to the course have terrible taste in music and will be hard of hearing ensuring everyone gets to listen to their dirge.  Sure glad it’s ultra-portable though.  Portable just isn’t enough.

Psychobunny Aaron Windbreaker

Psycho Bunny Aaron Windbreaker

Price: $198

They say: A packable, wind-and-waterproof jacket that will pop even under the darkest skies.

SGIC says: Confession: I own a psychobunny tshirt.  Pretty plain, tiny logo.  Overpriced.  Exactly how I feel about this.  For $200 I can buy something from Zero Restriction that I know is actually waterproof.  Plus, it wasn’t designed for golf so how well it holds up with a golf swing is up for debate.  Who’s Aaron, by the way?

Mont Blanc Sunglasses

Montblanc Sunglasses

Price: $2,020 (not a typo).

They say: The subtle map design on these titanium glasses is only visible from the outside, giving them a crisp, out-of-this-world look.

SGIC says: When I spend two grand on sunglasses three things happen.  1) She Who Is Really In Charge does not react well and gives me the death stare 2) I look like a complete dipshit 3) I will drop them and ruin them.  I spent $220 on a pair of custom golf-specific Oakley sunglasses 7 years ago and still question the decision (I still have them and like them).  But wow, I never bought sunglasses that have a subtle map design that’s visible from the outside before.  I bet wearing these will impress Aiden, Muffy and Trevor at the club while we complain about the poors and drink Dr. Pepper from $200 stemware.  And when I think of sunglasses, I always want to go with a company best known for making pens.  Christ- it’s like someone from Golf Digest thinks that your average reader is thinking “I mean, I could spend two grand on a golf trip to Myrtle but man I need sunglasses that make me look like a douchebag!”

Blair’s Belts Alligator Belt

Blair's Belts Alligator Wallet

Price: $295

They say: A luxe leather cash cover to keep your green safe and stylish.

SGIC says: You can’t buy this unless you get the matching belt and shoes.  BTW, you know who could totally pull this off?  Phil.  I’m sure that when he’s in Saudi Arabia it’ll go over well with the Sheik at the Palace.  That’s it.  You, me, anyone else?  Hell no.  Who buys someone a $300 wallet other than people who read the Robb Report and complain how it’s gone all mainstream and think Wheels Up is tacky.

Casio Pro Terek Smart WSD-F30 GPS Watch

Casio Pro Trek Smart WSD-F30 GPS Watch

Price: $549. Not a typo.

They say: A quality outdoor watch with the golf and smartwatch features you need. Get hole layouts and yardages via the Hole19 app, track activity, receive notifications and review forecasts on a compact-yet-vivid design.

SGIC says: Eat shit.  I’d rather listen to the 877-KARS-4-KIDS song in a broom closet with the two goobers from MVMT watching JB Holmes lose pace to an ice floe than spend $550 on a Casio watch.  It’s a watch.  It tells time.  You know what works great for a GPS device is your smart phone with the Hole19 app, or a rangefinder.  You can watch porn on your smartphone (from what I hear).  Casio watches should never cost more than a case of PBR.  Hell, they should come with one.  SGIC 2020, buy a case of beer, get a free Casio watch!  Plus, you know that the asshole using this thing will need three minutes to get his yardage nailed down so he can duck hook a 3-wood into a hazard.

Bluegrass Fairway Waxed Canvas Valuables Pouch

Bluegrass Fairway Waxed Canvas Valuables Pouch

Price: $38

They say: Handmade in the United States, this water-resistant pouch is lined with a soft, tartan fabric to keep your valuables protected inside and out.

SGIC says: Tartan fabric, people!  Now we’re talking.  I NEED TARTAN.  I’m a supporter of BIG TARTAN.  But $38?  Someone should buy this for an office gift exchange just to make the “you can put your balls in it!” joke.  You know what’s cheaper and better?  A Crown Royal pouch (my personal option).  And with the pouch, you get a free bottle of Crown Royal!  Put the Pine Valley or Masters logo on it and they’ll fly off the shelf.  This thing looks like it should have a bolo tie in it or something.

G/FORE Pray For Birdies Beanie

G/FORE Pray For Birdies Beanie

Price: $120

They say: A soft cashmere-wool hat to keep you warm and under par all winter long.

SGIC says: It’s a toque.  Skull cap…sure.  Beanie sounds like something Flounder from ‘Animal House’ would wear to try to pledge Delta House.  There’s a guy named Trevor or Hunter in Brooklyn who will totally buy this.  Serious golfers?  No chance.  It’s golf apparel for people who don’t play golf.  Pass.

Crab & Cleek Turkish Towels

Crab & Cleek Turkish Towels

Price: $32 each

They say: For a unique and elegant addition to the bag, these customizable Turkish cotton golf towels have a terry-cloth liner that will keep your clubs fresh.

SGIC says: Some poor bastard is getting this for Christmas along with a set of neoprene iron covers and a set of naked lady tees right before they decide to ditch golf and take up lawn darts or huffing glue as their preferred recreational activity.  I mean, do you really need TURKISH cotton?  Is Pima or Egyptian cotton not good enough anymore?  I used “borrowed” gym towels that worked great.  Think about what you use your towel for; do you really need fine Turkish cotton?  No.  You do not.

Theragun Liv

Theragun Liv

Price: $249 and your pride

They say: This massage gun uses percussive therapy—or rapid, repetitive strokes—to stimulate blood flow and heat for more effective muscle recovery, pain management and stress relief.

SGIC says: This thing looks like someone duct-taped a Hitachi Wand on a triangle.  I mean, I bet a lot of people can use this for stress relief and to stimulate blood flow (hey-yoooo).  I totally get that.  But…THIS LOOKS LIKE A VIBRATOR.   Like something you’d see on an Adam & Eve infomercial (something I’d never, ever watch).   And $250?  No, I don’t know what size batteries this uses nor do I know if you can some how link it to your smartphone.

Hay Sowden Bottle

Hay Sowden Bottle

Price: $35 (12 ounce) $40 (17 ounce).

They say: Make hydration more appealing with this stainless-steel bottle that’s suitable for hot or cold drinks and looks like a work of art.

SGIC says: They look like giant salt and pepper shakers that are plotting revenge.  40 bucks for a water bottle that holds less than 20 ounces?  GTFO.  Buy a Yeti.  Cheaper, bigger and they work great.  This looks like something you’d use on your Peloton (presumably beating your husband with it for blowing 2 grand on an exercise bike).  Oh, and those ‘videos’ you can watch with the instructors?  I hate those people.  If  you ever see me inside a Soul Cycle call 911 because I’ve been kidnapped.

Imperial The Breck Rope Cap

Imperial The Breck Rope Cap

Price: $30 and all the ridicule you can handle

They say: This customizable corduroy hat was inspired by a piece in the company’s 1988 collection—bringing enduring style and refinement to winter attire.

SGIC says: You should get a free bowl of soup with this, because at least then you’d have soup.  When I think of refinement in haberdashery, corduroy isn’t what I’m thinking of.  Rope hats are ugly so by all means let’s bring them back.  Throw this thing into an active volcano.  Seriously…corduroy?  On a hat?

J Lindberg Clint Wool Coolmax Sweater

 

J.Lindeberg Clint Wool Coolmax Sweater

Price: $225 (therapy not included)

They say: A moisture-wicking, breathable wool-blend layer that will add class, color and warmth to any outfit.

SGIC says: A huge epic fail.  No big and tall sizes because J Lindberg is made for 12-year old boys who resemble a match stick, plus it’s the kind ugly where you need two of these: 1 to shit on, the other to cover up said shit with.  Who’s spending $225 to look like you eat crayons because they taste good?

Seamus X Denton Watts Skull & Crossbones Field Book (scorecard holder)

Seamus X Denton Watts Skull & Crossbones Field Book

Price: $95

They say: Ready to record the deadliest of scores, this white-leather scorecard holder can double as a passport protector.

SGIC says: If you wear a white belt with black socks and play from the tips despite your 22 index, have we got a deal for you.  No.  Absolutely not.  When the economy craters next year (consumer debt is at an all-time high per capita) people are going to look at crap like this and question their judgement.  As they should.  The first person to DM me will get a free scorecard holder that came with a purchase from TGW.

Jones X Buscemi Slide

Jones X Buscemi Slide

Price: $200. For slides.

They say: Handmade in Italy, these limited-edition slides offer the simple elegance your feet deserve after 18 holes.

SGIC says: Huzzah!  Tut tut…surely Trevor and Lord Shinytaint will not have someone wearing these in the Members Grill after 18 holes.  The humanity!  One exception: wear these bad boys with knee-high black socks and see what happens.  But hurry…they’re limited edition!  You don’t want BIG SANDAL getting over on you, do you?  Does buying a pair of these get you lunch with Steve Buscemi?  Asking for a friend.  Can you wear them while getting sun on your bunghole?

Hillrock Estate Solera-Aged Bourbon

Hillrock Estate Solera-Aged Bourbon

Price: $100

They say: This groundbreaking New York State bourbon hangs with Kentucky’s best.

SGIC says: What does Solera aged mean?  Bourbon is aged is wood casks.  There is literally no solera involved.  Bourbon is Solera-free.  I could recommend a half-dozen bourbons that would be much better (and cheaper) than this.  It’s like one of their staffers was in the Hudson Valley and stumbled upon this.  It’s like claiming the best crab cakes come from Oklahoma.

That’s it.  You’re not buying any of this garbage.

What if, say, you’re reading this and you want to get your favourite golfer something for Christmas?  A few really good options:

  1. Go to your local golf course and buy 1-2 dozen of their preferred make/model of balls.  Super easy, and they’ll be happy.
  2. Treating them to a round or two at a great course that they have wanted to play.  They’ll think of you…it’s a win-win!
  3. If they’re new to the game or want to improve, a lessons package at your local course (or some place like GolfTec) is a great option.
  4. Are they in the market for new clubs?  Schedule them a fitting at said local course or a club fitter in your area (use your search engine of choice).  It’s a great way for them to maximize those dollars and again- they’ll think of you when they’re getting fitted and start hitting your mid-irons stiff on a regular basis.
  5. If you have deep pockets, treat them to a weekend getaway somewhere nice that has golf that they can use come spring.  The RTJ Golf Trail, Myrtle Beach, Kiawah Island, Charleston SC, Scottsdale/Phoenix, Orlando are all great options with plenty of non-golf things to do.

Happy shopping!

Labor Day and Something’s Missing

September 3, 2019 / / 0 Comments

From the 2nd tee at Rattlewood. I make a long shadow at sunup. Can’t really explain that it looks like my arms are out. They’re not.

Hope you’re enjoying your Labor/Labour Day.  After running a bunch of errands I had something of a brain cramp because I was convinced that today was the final round of a Playoff event, but thanks to the Tour’s new schedule, your only option is the final round of the Korn Ferry Tour Championship (which I’d like to see get elevated to NBC for the final two rounds).  The Champions and LPGA Tours wrapped up on Sunday as did the European Tour.

9th hole at Rattlewood. All about getting your second shot close unless you’re a REAL bomber and can hit a draw that stops on an elevated green that slopes hard from right to left.

Not to beat a dead horse but there’s no reason for the PGA Tour to avoid Labo(u)r Day weekend, but we digress.  I’m not the first one to suggest this, but a West Coast Tour Championship (whispers softly…use Riviera on a mini-rota with Olympic Club, LACC and maybe Chambers Bay) in prime time over Labor Day weekend gets you eyeballs you’re otherwise not getting.

No golf next weekend as I’ve got commitments both days but I plan on playing the following two weeks before heading on vacation.  Plus, I’ll admit to being a bit gun-shy about potential impact from Hurricane Dorian (all the best to everyone in Florida, Georgia and the Carolinas).

I played Saturday at Rattlewood fearful of rust from not having played in two weeks; no issues.  Got off to a good start and had as good of day with my irons as I’ve had in some time, with 11 GIR.  Didn’t convert much (1 birdie and 35 putts), but a 78 is never bad.  Had a bit of a blow-up on 18 where I had to make a 15 foot putt to save bogey, but overall a good round.

12th hole at Rattlewood. Just over 225 from the blue tee; playing 230+. Hit a 3 wood to 18 feet, putt to tap-in distance for a very satisfying par on a hole that’s closer to a par 3 1/2.

Less than four weeks before I head to the desert on vacation for the first time in two years.  Looking forward to it.

SONG OF THE DAY

 

Dog Day August Mornings

August 19, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Finally playing decent enough to use this bag. It took long enough.

Played each of the last 2 Saturday mornings.  Let’s go to the tape:

From 8/10 at Falls Road. It was actually cool- glad I grabbed a wind-shirt. The guy with the Patriots bag was great to play with. No comment about his lifestyle choices.

Played 8/10 at Falls Road.  On a rare Saturday morning that was crisp, cool and felt like a taste of fall, I had my lowest score in over 3 years, posting a 77 that could and should have been lower.  Falls Road is a course that still holds up as a decent challenge despite lacking length.  I remember playing a golf league there through a former employer and having many happy 9-hole rounds during summer evenings.

My gallery approving of saving par from the bunker on 14.

The course, like pretty much everyone, has taken a beating from our two-month long heat wave with several holes having burned out spots that were spongy with rain from storms.  Greens were in decent shape for the most part.  I played with a couple solid citizens who were Pushcart Mafia members.  Great guys.  My knee, ankle and hip problems have made walking a non-starter, but I’ve got all day for Pushcart Mafia members.  You’re always aces in my book.  Falls Road is not a crusher walk-wise.  The only change of note is that the tennis club that was near the 10th-11th-12th holes is gone.  Looks like home construction but couldn’t confirm anything.  10 and 12 were cart path only (luckily my tee shot on 12 was pretty close to the path so I didn’t have to repel down to the fairway.

Played 8/17 at Poolesville.

Just teed off on #1. Two members of the Pushcart Mafia are ahead of me while I stop to tie my shoes.

If you discount that Google Maps can’t seem to find the goddamn place much less get me back home coupled with having to run to the first tee to make my time (I hit my tee shot on #1 with my shoes untied), getting lost on the way home because Google Maps seemed to think I wanted to go home by taking my car through Virginia (talk about going around your elbow to get to your asshole), it wasn’t bad, I guess.

 

Unlike the previous Saturday it was hot, humid and buggy.  Very humid.  I finished the round a quart low, if you will.  So if you play Poolesville, bring bug spray.  They have water stations but the water wasn’t exactly ice cold and refreshing.  More like tap water, which is frankly a million miles better than nothing, but still.  Honestly the Outbreak hazmat suit might not be a bad option.  I used bug spray and still got a few bites so be warned.  The greens were in good shape (not exactly lightning fast, but they rolled true).  Some of the tee boxes were pretty beat up, which I’d attribute to the weather.  You water to keep the grass from dying, and naturally you get thunderstorms which turns the burnt-out turf into swampy marsh.

3rd shot into the 12th hole after I chopped out of the junk. Nothing like draining a 20 foot putt to save bogey.

The layout is, with one exception (#11) all out in front of you.  No blind shots.  Fairways were a bit furry which I’d attribute to not wanting them to burn out.  They tend to be narrow; most holes are tree-lined with fairly wide roughs before hitting the tree line.

16th hole at Poolesville. Wanna hit one straight? Aim right and try to play a draw. I ended up dry but difficult. I am a stupid sometimes.

Work commitments will keep me away next weekend so Labor Day weekend will be the next time I tee it up.  Hopefully we will get a long-term break from the heat and have an early start to fall.  Please.

I will probably miss most of the final rounds of the Tour Championship, which is fine given that the format is asinine.  As I noted previously, I’m looking forward to the team with the best record in the Super Bowl getting a 2-touchdown lead, and the team with the best record in the World Series getting five outs in the first three innings.

Hit ’em straight.

Oak Creek Review and 2nd Swing Review

August 5, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Oak Creek 1st hole. Pretty straightforward.

As I head into the Senior Tour age group, I played one final round as a 40-something on Saturday at Oak Creek in Upper Marlboro.  I hadn’t been there before and have heard some promising things.  Overall, it’s an interesting layout that is definitely NOT walkable under any circumstances.  The course is built into a gated housing development (they’re pretty serious about it; the course is considered to be semi-private which I took to mean that residents had some kind of privileges which makes sense), and the distances between the 1st and 2nd holes combined with the 9th and 10th holes are exhaustive  (and involve crossing a busy street).  It’s pretty tree-lined on most holes so being accurate off the tee is important.  The vast majority of holes are straightforward.  A few dogleg holes here and there but nothing particularly crazy.

8th hole at Oak Creek. Avoid right, bit of a bail-out left and short.

What I liked:

  • Most holes have bail-out areas short and have chipping areas around the green.
  • The first hole is a true handshake hole; short par 4 that requires accuracy but otherwise not a brute.
  • Greens were straightforward; no multi-tier greens with severe breaks.
  • Pro shop seemed to be well-stocked and has a grab and go area for beverages and snacks.
  • Bermuda tee boxes and fairways were in decent shape.
  • Six sets of tees with distances ranging from 6,980 (tips) to 4,443 (orange).
  • Scorecard had tee box my handicap index recommendations.  I’d suggest posting this on the 1st tee in plain view.
  • Saw a few water stations that seemed to be fresh (on a warm and humid morning ice water is really, really good).

4th hole at Oak Creek, waiting for the first group. Like putting JB Holmes and Patrick Cantlay out first. You drive through the barn on the right, and if you’re Brian Burke, you can have a barn fight!

What I didn’t like:

  • Greens were in less than ideal shape.  The biggest issue was the large number of un-repaired ball marks.  If I were the superintendent I’d be livid.  Not sure why.  I know that outings are notorious for ignoring them (not an excuse on any level).  I’d strongly suggest making this an issue, and go over how to repair a ball-mark.  I made a point of fixing mine plus at least 1 on every hole.  I’d suggest mentioning this to groups.  I can see how the greens could be really good with this happening.
  • Roughs had several dead areas.  I’m inclined to give the course a break on this one given how hot and humid July has been (the Bermuda fairways were, for the most part, in decent shape).  Tee boxes were hit and miss.  Being tree lined you also had some shady areas that may not be getting much sunlight.
  • The first group out (we were 2nd) was a foursome whose pace of play was glacial (very much got the vibe that they were members or something).  We passed them after the 5th hole after getting tired of waiting on them on every shot.  The marshal we ran into between 12 and 13 admitted as much.  Again, if you don’t tell them to pick up the pace they never will.  Your first groups should be fast players.  You don’t put slowpokes out first.
  • No half-way house (the routing kind of meanders through the development), no beverage cart.  Their email said that they would send out a beverage cart based on demand so at least they explained their policy.  Even an ice machine/water station would be nice.

13th hole from the tee box. Visually intimidating but some bail-out areas abound.

Overall it’s not bad.  If you’re playing on a weekend note that it’s near Six Flags America so take that into account for driving.  The exit that they tell you to take on the Beltway is closed (15A); I took 15B and made liberal use of my u-turn skills.  It’s also easy to get to off of 301.  If you have a tee time on a Sunday when the Redskins have a home game (the stadium is 1-2 exits away) be warned.  In the end, I had fun.  It’s a 45-60 minute hike for me so I may not be in a massive rush to play it again, but unfortunately this seems to becoming the new normal for golf.

1ST VISIT TO 2ND SWING

So having been curious since they opened, I went to the new 2nd Swing in Columbia this afternoon not knowing what to expect.  I was…impressed.

When the pushcart mafia rolls up on you they mean business.

  • Clubs were sorted by brand and style (woods, irons, wedges) in a very straight-forward and easy to find fashion.  Prices were sorted by condition.
  • Ton of kids and beginner sets.
  • Nearly a dozen hitting bays that were huge.  I mean YUUUUGE.
  • Large area for putters with plenty of space and a separate fitting station that was getting used.   I was really impressed; if I was in the market for a new flat stick I’d definitely visit.
  • Decent selection of bags (mostly cart bags with some carry bags).
  • Solid selection of soft goods (balls, hats, etc.).
  • They also had a station doing new/replacement grips.

Near a long row of hitting bays and an aisle of clubs. Not pictured- they have a few stations with Trackman.

I walked out with two new hats (my preferred brand/style) and a new towel (my preferred brand) for far less than I’d pay otherwise.  It’s a fantastic addition to the area and a welcome option (I love Golf Galaxy but getting over there on a weekend while fighting Costco traffic is at best difficult).

Play well, stay cool, and here’s to plenty of pars, birdies and eagles.

 

 

 

Back On Course, Local Golf News

April 7, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Ready to go. Let’s do this.

I’ve managed a practice session and 3 rounds in the last four weeks, which is huge improvement from 2018 which was bad on a host of levels.

Played at Waverly Woods on 3/24.  Course was, in parts, still looking in winter mode which is understandable given how cold it was in early/mid March.  Greens were in decent shape all things considered (they’ve since aerated fairways, I’m not sure about greens).  It remains the best public track in the county.  Pace of play was great; we were the first group out (as a threesome) but let a twosome play through and never saw them again (note- letting a faster group through is the right thing to do).  Glad I did it, and I’d do it again.

Played at Timbers at Troy on 3/30.  Timbers was, at one point, the best in the county but Waverly has passed them.  Still the case.  When I played it didn’t appear that fairways/tee boxes or greens had been aerated, and I haven’t seen any news from them about aeration.  The course was in better shape than the last time I was there.  Pace of play was a real issue.  My opinion may not be universal but a 4 1/2 hour round on an early Saturday morning when we waited on literally every shot isn’t acceptable.  At one point you had 4 groups on the 13th hole (the short downhill par 4).

Played at Rattlewood on 4/6.  Rattlewood is never going to be on anyone’s “best of” tracks, and it doesn’t need to be.  It’s a solid, playable public track.  Greens had been punched a week ago and were rolling pretty good.  The fairways were, for the most part, in good shape.  The roughs haven’t grown in, which is either a blessing or a curse depending on your perspective.  I’ve said this before, but from the tips it’s 6,500 yards and a very approachable 6,100 from the white tees.

So three rounds in, and all things considered, not a bad start.  The next few weeks are going to be a no-go period for me for a few reasons, but I’ll hopefully find a way to sneak one out.

POURING ONE OUT

A bit late on this, but Redgate Golf Course in Rockville is closed.  It’s unfortunate because it served a need and was a solid layout that, at one time, had outstanding greens save for 1 or 2 holes.  The article says they’d need around $2.5 million to do needed repair and refurbishment.  I played a ton of rounds there and always had a soft spot for it.

Cross Creek Golf Club is closed and not coming back.  I can remember when it opened back in 2003 and was, at the time, a big deal when you had a lot of upscale daily fee courses opening.  It was part of a housing development, and hosted an LPGA Symetra Tour event in 2003 and 2004.  Unfortunately, the place has been in a death spiral for some time and it’s gone.  The link is to the Cross Creek HOA.  I feel bad for the homeowners who are seeing their course not be maintained which doesn’t help anyone.

Both courses being gone knocks 36 holes of public golf out of the area, which isn’t good for anyone.  It also means that Montgomery County Golf now controls every public course in the county (in a perfect world they’d have taken it over and turned it around).  It’s not that Montgomery County Golf is bad (they’re not), but reducing inventory doesn’t help anyone.  I’d still argue that Cross Creek and Redgate (being properly maintained) help the area.  The more options that exist for young, aspiring and mid-high handicap players, the better.

The Match, Redux

November 27, 2018 / / 0 Comments
Photo rights to Turner/Getty

Your Literal Money Shot From ‘The Match’

Being old enough to remember the made-for-TV event that was The Skins Game, I was intrigued about the Tiger Woods-Phil Mickelson ‘Match’ that took place the day after Thanksgiving at Shadow Creek in Las Vegas.  In the end, it was a dud on several levels but it does answer (and pose) a few thoughts going forward.

  1. B/R Live is a disaster/gong show/goat rodeo.  It’s criminal that they have the UEFA Champions League/Europa League rights and have the vast majority of games behind their paywall (with a lot of users complaining about quality).  Their announcers and studio crews (on the games they show on TNT) are worse than the idiots on Fox (which is saying something).  Their attempt at charging $19.99 for the Tiger-Phil match was worse.   In the end, because they couldn’t process payments they opened it up for screening online with no charge which is how yours truly watched it (as of today nearly every provider has provided refunds).  My hope is that this puts an end to anyone ever trying the PPV route and that B/R Live ends up swimming with the fishes.
  2. Ernie Johnson is one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet.  His story is incredible and I wish him improved health.  From all accounts he does a great job at the studio host of TNT’s basketball coverage.  Golf, however, isn’t his lane.  Too many times he was talking over coverage.  Not sure if this was him or the director, but it was bad.  When Tiger and Phil are wearing microphones, the second they start talking should be a cue to zip it.
  3. Shane Bacon was good in a difficult role.  He’s one of a very small list of people on Fox’s golf coverage that aren’t awful.  There’s no way they’d feed Joe Buck to the wood chipper (even though he’s terrible), but if I were Fox I’d go with Shane Bacon and Brad Faxon (Paul Azinger’s Grumpy Old Man routine has worn thin).
  4. They didn’t sell tickets to the public, and  yet, the VIP’s that got in were still yelling crap.  Heard at least one Baba Booey and something about Sizzler.  So sure glad they kept the unwashed out.
  5. The golf itself wasn’t very good.  Tiger didn’t seem remotely interested, and Phil was what you’d expect.  I mean, if you’re Tiger you’re set for life.  The only thing that has to interest him at this point are majors and racking up more Tour wins to add to his ’14 and 80′ tally.  The pace of play was horrendous.  Tempted to suggest they might want to use carts if there’s a repeat.
  6. Way too many talking heads. One lead announcer, one analyst, 1 or 2 on-course reporters and that’s really it.  Again…TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW OR ISN’T READILY SEEN.  I didn’t mind Charles Barkley.  Maybe Bacon, Charles, Darren Clarke and Pat Perez on the course.  That’s plenty.
  7. Shadow Creek was a decent choice as a venue, but several greens appeared to have been aerated recently.  Not exactly what you’d hope for.  In a previous life I knew a guy in Vegas who thought Shadow Creek was the greatest thing in the world.  Bought some giant coffee table book and loved it (back when you had to have a personal invite from Steve Wynn to play there; now you have to be a guest at one of his resorts and willing to pay $500 to play).
  8. MGM Resorts was actively promoting hole-by-hole wagering.  Didn’t mind it.  It’s probably the wave of the future.
  9. Spare me the whining about “oh, for $9 million they could have (insert name of worthy cause).”  They didn’t.  It was never a trade-off.  Turner put up the money, they took a bath.  Welcome to Commerce 101.
  10. The 93-yard playoff hole was interesting.  Not a fan but glad they had an option in case of darkness.
  11. The HBO 24/7 wasn’t bad.  If you’ve seen one, you know what you’re getting.  If I were Mike Whan (LPGA Commissioner) I’d try to get the HBO 24/7 team to cover a tour event.

Johnny, (Occasionally) Angry Johnny (an Appreciation)

October 19, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Johnny Miller and Seve Ballesteros. Probably not discussing that 63 at Oakmont.

With the NBA season tipping off last night, the NHL season entering its third week (thankfully, the Leafs are off to a hot start and yes- those of you who follow me on Twitter may see my feed become more Leaf-centric for a while), the MLB playoffs down to the last four and the NFL season doing what it does, some things get lost in the shuffle.  This week’s announcement that Johnny Miller will be leaving the broadcast booth after he does one final event (the 2019 Waste Management Open- CBS has (pro football championship game whose title shan’t be mentioned) a conflict so they’re dumping the coverage to NBC (NBC will dump a February weekend to CBS every 4 years when it conflicts with the end of the Winter Olympics).  Related, thumbs up to Golfweek’s ‘The Forecaddie’ for getting this first.

NBC’s decision to use Paul Azinger from Fox is a colossal disappointment.  In multiple years of working with Joe Buck on Fox, they still have zero chemistry and they still provide nothing of value to the viewer.  Buck has this habit of having to put his stamp on things; great moments in sports don’t need it (and he has this habit of talking over things when letting the pictures speak would be better for all involved).

From watching US Opens on Fox, Azinger’s biggest fault is that he routinely fails to use his biggest strength, which is his perspective as a former player.  Viewers don’t need narratives about tradition.  We aren’t former touring professionals; Paul is.  He’s won a major, and yet, he rarely (if ever) provides that perspective.  He’s too busy talking about the history of the game.  Put me in the head of a guy trying to win a major and spare me waxing poetic about how great you think the USGA is.  The final round of a major isn’t that time nor the place.  Four full years with Fox and other than Shane Bacon and Brad Faxon, there’s not a single reason to listen (their technology is fantastic).

Miller has been part of NBC since 1990.  By and large, he’s taken the viewer into what players are thinking on the back nine on Sunday when they’re trying to win.  He used the word ‘choke’ in context with a player.  He hasn’t shied away from being critical of players.  I know the Tiger fanboys don’t want to hear this (lest anyone speak ill of Dear Tiger), but offering criticisms of players is quite literally why many of the talking heads have jobs.  He’s been critical of the best players, which is his job.  Being critical of the top players (when warranted) is part of that.

Any budding announcers, regardless of sport, should remember that if you’re doing TV, the viewer is watching.  He/she can see.  Your words should supplement what’s being viewed.  Analysts should think similarly.  I’ve never played professional sports.  Paul Azinger has.  He’s won a major.  So help me, the viewer, know what’s going on by telling me things I can’t see.  If an on-course reporter can tell me what kind of lie that “X” has in the rough, walk me through what a player might be thinking given this information.  Don’t use 25 words if 15 are sufficient, but don’t use 25 if you need 40 or 50 to provide context.

Challenge: watch the final round of an event with the volume off for 30-40 minutes.  Notice how little most announcers contribute?  They go from shot to shot, and tell you that player X is putting for birdie/par.  Think about the maddening four minutes that JB Holmes spent trying to figure out his second shot at the Farmers Insurance Open earlier this year.  Now, think about how little (if anything) the announcers were contributing to this debacle.

Miller, at his best, provided that reason to listen.  He won majors, and knew what it was like (he also successfully managed to balance family life & fatherhood with a professional career) to be in contention.  Yes- he could go on a bit about his famous 63 at Oakmont (and yes- I may or may not have made a drinking game about Miller) but the fact is he shot a 63 and won a US Open, which, to borrow a term, means he has Scoreboard.  More significantly, he could articulate what a tour pro was going through in a final round, which often gets lost in the shuffle.

I’m not NBC/Golf Channel, but if I was, I’d have given some of their internal folks a crack at the job before going outside and sharing Azinger with Fox (where Azinger would be useful is during Ryder Cup week; having him and Colin Montgomerie together would be an absolute must-listen).  David Duval and Justin Leonard have the ‘won a major’ box ticked, and Brandel Chamblee would provide a bit of spice (and controversy) to broadcasts.  Frank Nobilo is another option I’d like to see given a crack.  Maybe, if you were bringing Mike Tirico into the booth (replacing Dan Hicks) I could get behind reuniting Tirico and Azinger, but beyond that, it’s a hard pass.

So thanks for everything, Johnny.  Hope you’re able to enjoy retirement with your family (which has always been your top priority, as it should).

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