Under clear skies and a stiffening breeze, my 2015 golf season got off with less of a bang and more of a whimper with the sound of golf balls hitting trees (with the trees still in winter hibernation, it says something that I was able to hit trees on five shots- I mean, that’s accuracy right?) at Northwest Park.
Ready for action. Hide yo trees.
While I’ve tried to commit to a new fitness regimen that doesn’t rely solely on Scotch (Glenlivet, Johnnie Walker Black Label and The MacAllan if you’re asking or buying), I’ve been hitting the gym in hopes of becoming more flexible and maybe just a bit stronger. Unfortunately, in doing so I’ve developed a form a tendinitis in my left ankle and foot area which has become progressively more and more painful. Being right-handed because…hell I don’t know why- my father was a lefty and played minor league baseball so of course I’m a righty- it means that when I swing it puts a lot of pressure on my left foot/ankle. Huzzah! This problem started four years ago, and has gotten progressively worse. I suppose I’m glad that it’s not a fracture or something worse, but now I’m in that “this is probably going to be around for a while” mode which isn’t exactly what I wanted to hear.
Northwest Park #10. Managed to hit the fairway.
The course was wet and thus, cart path only (I mention this because of the recurring issue I referenced above). Nonetheless, despite the brutal winter that we had, the fairways were green and in good shape and the greens were better than you’d expect for this time of year (they haven’t been punched yet near as I could tell). My only note of concern was that, despite the area getting only moderate rain this past week, several parts of the course were fairly wet.
Northwest Park #18. I’m over by that big tree on the right. Again.
It’s still Northwest Park and it’s still one of the best tracks in the area among your public courses. It can bog down during the middle of the day (our morning twosome was given the “play through” of the foursome in front of us and despite neither of us playing particularly well we finished in just over 3 hours. Not the norm by any means, but a fast-moving twosome should be able to do this (if I’m being honest the guy I played with played from the blues as did I, which probably wasn’t the smartest decision I made that day).
Hope you were able to get out and play this weekend, and congratulations to Jordan Spieth who won The Masters in pretty dominant style. Congrats to fellow 40-something Phil Mickelson on a T-2. If you’re scoring at home, that’s two straight 2nd place finishes for Phil.
I know that the blog hasn’t been updated for the better part of two months. While I’d like to say I’ve missed out on a nice early start to the season with all of the courses locally enjoying a bumper start to the season, we all know that this isn’t the case. So let’s review the last two months:
Not even cart path only today.
-The end of January and all of February were butt-ass cold. I’ve looked longingly at my bag, whispering sweet nothings at it and hoping that sooner than later I’d be taking it from its spot in the family room to my car where it will hopefully get heavy usage. Plus, it snowed. A lot. At least my hounds got to enjoy a few runs in the snow, and the snow blower I bought for Black Friday (online) got broken in (the electric snow blower is the way to go- no dealing with gas and oil…just plug and go).
Best putting aid ever.
-I switched jobs, which was a six week odyssey of interviews with my new employer before finally handing in my notice to my now former employer. Not that the weather was going to allow so much as a trip to the range but any thoughts of this vanished pretty quickly. I took a week off in some fantasy of at least being able to hit the range. We had two ice storms and a snow storm that gave us 10″ of snow here in the Ho Co. Clearly someone was mad at me.
-Making things even better my laptop’s hard drive crashed. My relationship with inanimate objects is, at best, not very good and at worst we’re not on good terms. Luckily SWIRIC (she who is really in charge) knows people who are far, far better equipped at these kinds of things than I am. I finally got my laptop back, and after a couple challenges, it’s up and running.
-My new job required me to be in Texas to start my job. Any dreams or fantasies of sneaking out for a quick nine evaporated as I landed. I didn’t so much as leave the hotel to breathe fresh air. My room did, however, have a lovely view of the Jerry Dome in Arlington, TX and the surrounding landscape (fast food restaurants, an amusement park, and an interstate highway). So there was that. Luckily, the week I was in Texas happened to correspond with a crap-ton of snow melting here, so when I returned the snow had mostly vanished. Happy to be of assistance.
-On the PGA Tour, I watched Tiger WD at Torrey Pines and he hasn’t been seen or heard from since. I’m not a Doctor so I don’t know what his health is like (or his mental state), and the talking heads who continually speculate…just stop. He’ll start playing when he decides to, and his results will speak for themselves.
-The LPGA Tour has finished its Australasian leg of its tour and is back on US soil. I’ll say it again- if you get a chance tune in or go to an event.
-In News You Can Use, Sligo Creek, Laytonsville, Northwest Park, Hampshire Greens and Little Bennett are open. So think Spring!
-If you need a boost to get into spring, just click below and let Jim Nantz “Hello, Friends” you into your happy place.
As I will often do, I have debates in my head about things. Am I wearing pants, for example? Should I wear them or should I have no pants day? What should I have for dinner? And how do I turn two conversations 8 months apart into something meaningful, or should I split them up?
Sure- I could spend my commute time listening to podcasts and thinking of how to make the world a better place. Instead, this is what I think about. Well, that and scotch. And the Maple Leafs’ annual descent into complete shit show, paused momentarily by the firing of Randy Carlyle, who will be best remembered by this moment of brilliance last December during HBO’s 24/7:
If you’re scoring at home, that’s Toaster 1, Carlyle 0. And people wonder why I drink like I do.
So anyway, in lieu of two separate blogs, I’ve combined two separate interviews into one super-duper blog post.
Steve (not his real name) has been playing for less than five years, and I’d estimate his handicap at 18-20. We play occasionally, and he gets around pretty well but gives up strokes around the green (in other words he’s like most of you). He got bit by the golf bug like many of us, and he’s now at that healthy level of obsession that is so endearing; sadly with Golf Channel now showing “golf” he’s missing out on staying up until 3:00 a.m. to watch infomercials (in my younger days I had a sexual tryst while the Perfect Club infomercial was on- I feel like there should be some kind of award for this, but we digress). Now that some of you are possibly vomiting, I’ll steer back to point.
Sally (not her real name) has been playing for 10+ years. I’ve seen her at the driving range a few times, and like me, she shows up, hits her bucket and is on her way (I’ve seen her get bothered on several occasions while she’s hitting balls). I’m not sure she was particularly thrilled that I approached her in the pro shop to ask her about golf (at least initially) but she soon realized I had no motive other than her two cents on the state of golf.
Me: One of the things people often cite when asked why they don’t play golf is the cost. You’re not a millionaire. Did this bother you?
Steve: Not really; my first set of clubs were used, I got them cheap, paid a few bucks to get them re-gripped and I was off. I found that by looking around and looking for value and sales, I could find stuff fairly cheaply.
Me: The other thing you hear is that new golfers are intimidated by more experienced golfers. Any issues?
Steve: Not really…never encountered any issues from other golfers. Most other golfers just want to get around and shoot good scores.
Me: Other than spending time outdoors, why did you take up the game?
Steve: I wanted a new experience. I wanted an opportunity to meet people, take up a new hobby, and be able to mix business in with what I do. And what they say is true- golf is a great place to conduct business, or at least get to meet new people.
Me: What issues did you encounter as a novice/beginner?
Steve: By far pace of play was the biggest issue. If you can keep up and keep moving along nobody bothers you.
Me: Okay, so if you had $500 to spend right now on golf, what would you buy?
Steve: A new pair of waterproof shoes! Playing early means the courses are wet. I’d also invest in some more lessons; maybe a short game clinic or something like that. Before I buy anything I’d do research though. I don’t care about a particular brand; I’m looking for value.
Me: Neither of us will ever play on the Tour (Steve and I are roughly the same age), so why do you play?
Steve: Having those great holes make for a rewarding experience. It’s fun to see if you can beat your best-ever round. I can see why you love to play even though you drink way too much. I mean, does Johnnie Walker sponsor you or something?
Me: How long should a round of golf take?
Steve: No more than four hours.
Me: If you could give one piece of advice to newcomers, what would it be?
Steve: Take lessons and don’t be afraid to play from the forward tees.
My chat with Sally appears below:
Me: So how long have you been playing?
Sally: Over ten years. I played off and on and have gotten more serious about it in the last five years.
Me: I’ll admit I see you at the range quite a bit, and every time you’re hitting balls at least one or two guys will come up to you. I’ve wondered what they’re talking to you about?
Sally: Equal parts tips on my swing and seeing if they can help me.
Me: From afar it doesn’t appear to be the case.
Sally: It’s not. I just want to hit balls, work on my game, and unwind. Is that too much to ask?
Me: Not at all.
Sally: (tone slightly irritated) I’m not here looking to meet anyone. I want to work on my game and ideally be left alone. Why do you guys think I need your help?
Me: I don’t. That’s what PGA Professionals are for.
Sally: Thank you.
Me: When you play rounds do you get bothered?
Sally: It depends. If I’m playing with business colleagues, generally everything is fine, other than having to remind them at least a half-dozen times that I play from the forward tees even though I tell them before the first hole. Getting paired up with a group of guys can go fine or it becomes really frustrating?
Me: How so?
Sally: For one, ask me what set of tees I’m playing from…don’t assume. Two, I don’t want your advice on my swing, stance, or posture. Three, I don’t want your phone number. Four, don’t assume I’m going to pick up or that a putt is good. Why do guys assume that anything inside four feet is “good”?
Me: Because deep down four footers scare the crap out of us.
Sally: Me too, but I didn’t start playing to avoid this. Just let me either finish, mark it, or pick it up.
Me: Fair enough. I noticed you have a pretty big cart bag. Any reason?
Sally: The first set I bought had everything (bag, clubs, putter), and it was pink. I like the clubs but I don’t want or need a pink bag. So I bought a giant bag (which actually works out- I can leave my waterproof pants and jacket in it).
Me: How do you get treated at public courses?
Sally: Depends. If I’m part of a twosome or a foursome there’s generally no problems, but if myself and another woman join a twosome of guys it can be difficult.
Me: How so?
Sally: Your “great, we have to play with women” body language. The idea that you might have to wait for us to tee off. The look that somehow we take forever to play when it’s usually men who have to play from the tips that slow things up (guilty). I’m not saying you need to bow in front of us…just some basic courtesy is all. Oh, and maybe not hit on us.
Me: How often does this happen?
Sally: Only occasionally, but it still puts me off- it’s not like I’m paying any less or something. I’ve become used to it to some level, I suppose.
Me: Thanks for your time, and best of luck this year.
As we bid farewell to the 2014 season and look ahead to 2015, your friends at Single Golfer in Cart have a few wishes for the upcoming year in golf.
It’s a new year!
-Christmas is a great time for new clubs to find their way into one’s hands (and if I’m honest the new Titleist 915 woods look pretty good), and certainly, this means you’ll want to get to a driving range and get in a few wallops before taking them out on the course for the first time. So when you do go to the driving range, be respectful of those around you. If you’re a natural Chatty Charlie or Chatty Cathy, maybe don’t plop yourself next to people who are hitting balls quietly. Find a quiet end of the range and have at it.
-To that point, unless your last name is Haney, Pelz, or Harmon (and you’re a PGA Professional) avoid giving lessons to random strangers based on something you saw on The Golf Channel. Michael Breed looks and acts like a guy who teaches golf between doing meth; he’s also a licenced PGA Professional. You’re not.
Notice the lack of unsolicited advice
-My wish list would be incomplete without wishing for an early start to spring and a fall that allows courses to stay open and enjoy a fruitful year.
-If you’ve decided to take up the game, welcome to this wonderful game, and might I say you have great taste in golf websites! While learning the mechanics of the game is important, so is key fundamentals like pace of play and etiquette. Read up on these things. You can find cheap books (and even e-books) on golf etiquette. You’ll play better, have more fun, and make a ton of friends.
-I’d like to see local courses start enforcing a true time par relative to the day of week and time of day, and actually enforce it by speaking to groups. Helping people play faster helps the game as a whole.
-I’d like Fox Sports to decide if they’re serious about golf or not. Their initial foray into golf was a complete disaster, and the next time it’ll be at the US Open on a course that has never hosted a professional tournament.
-I’d like to see courses enforce a 2-minute time limit on lost balls, and a rule that if you carry one of those ball retrievers I can kick you in the raisins if you deploy it.
-Given the success that the NHL has had with the Winter Classic and outdoor games in general, I’d like to see the PGA Tour have an event that sets up to finish at night (they did this with the late 90’s/early 2000’s exhibition matches). I’ve played at courses that are lit for night play- it’s a different element. Spare me the sanctity of “oh, we can’t do that”…because that’s complete bullshit. Nobody is using a gutta percha ball anymore (hell nobody uses a balata ball anymore), and nobody uses persimmon woods. I’m not saying have a major do this…pick an event (Dallas or Phoenix come to mind), and have ’em finish at night under the lights.
-I’d like to see the USGA adopt bifurcation with respect to wedge grooves and the long putters. No other sport forces amateurs to play by the same rules as professionals.
-I hope that the final rounds of the four majors of the men’s tours all have excitement and drama, and it’d be nice to see Phil Mickelson finally win a US Open.
-Similar for the vastly-underrated LPGA Tour; I’d love to see Christina Kim win a major and Michelle Wie find a second major. Seeing both on the Solheim Cup would make for a must-watch event.
Let’s see this in 2015
-I’d like to see the Howard County courses pull their collective heads out of where they don’t belong, and embrace who they are. The county needs them. Looking at you, Timbers at Troy and Waverly Woods.
-I’d like to play several courses I haven’t played before…maybe I can finally get my way up to Bulle Rock.
-I’d like to have at least one round at 75 or lower.
-I’d like to make a hole in one.
-I’d like everyone to have their best year ever, and enjoy every round.
My new favourite music video featuring Paul Rubens (Pee Wee Herman) as a race car driver:
After careful consideration and a long and deliberative process (at least 15 minutes and a couple double scotches), I’m pleased to announce the winners of the 2014 Single Golfer In Cart Awards (SGIC) and general Airing of Grievances for Excellence in Whatever I Damn Well Deem Appropriate. Since the Grill Room at Fairway Hills was busy (someone put brochures on the one table), I held the awards at the House of SGIC. It was a black tshirt affair. The awards are only for local area golf courses. Below are the other members of the voting committee.
Molson and Kona. You guys rock.
Behold, our award winners:
The Refusal To Die Award: Shared among Old Gunpowder and Sligo Creek Golf Courses. These courses continue to exist despite their deaths the stuff of constant speculation. Both courses offer new golfers and the thriftier set options to enjoy the game.
The First Thing We’ll Do is Kill Pace of Play Award: To Falls Road GC and any other course that throws dozens of groups on the back nine on weekend mornings, resulting in play grinding to a halt. At one point there were 7 groups on 2 holes (at 9:15 a.m.). And you wonder why rounds take 5 plus hours?
The Why Are You Even Trying Pro Shop Award: Fairway Hills…where you can get a hot dog, a soda and a dozen Top-Flites in one stop. All in a room the size of a prison cell.
The Excellence In Conditioning Award: Northwest Park. While their green fees have gone up over the last couple years, you’re paying for top-notch fairways and greens. Proof that people will pay for quality.
The Excellence in Customer Service Award: Northwest Park, who phoned me and left a voicemail after a heavy storm in May to explain that the back 9 was closed and we’d be playing the front nine and the “inside 9” during our round.
The I can Has Technology Award: To courses who refuse to let people know their aeration schedule. This is not difficult. It should be on your course’s website and anyone booking over the phone should be advised, and a sign in the pro shop should be visible.
The I can Has Technology Award Runner Up: Courses who can’t be bothered to tell people they’re open after a horrible winter. See Timbers at Troy and pretty much anything in Howard County.
The Excellence in Lying Out Their Ass Citation: Columbia Association’s never-ending tv ads touting their two courses. One’s a complete shit show in terms of conditioning that has their own “club” that gets all the early-morning weekend tee times (Hobbit’s Glen) and the other one has at least two holes I’d like to fire into the sun (Fairway Hills).
Best Retailer: Golf Galaxy (by default). Mammoth Golf is but a memory, and Dick’s Sporting Goods (yes- same parent company) is a loud thunderdome populated by teenage jockbros. I’ve had two club fitting experiences at Golf Galaxy and both were pretty good. Plus, Dick’s got rid of all of their PGA Professionals so now you’re dealing with someone who might have been selling camping gear the day before. If Golfdom (see below) opened a Maryland store and started carrying big and tall sizes this could change.
Worst Retailer: Pretty much everyone in the area, because there’s no retail golf stores that sell big and tall sizes. I’d like to support a locally run golf retailer; other than Olney Golf Park (selection is very much meh) there’s not one that exists other than either your “green grass” retailers (at courses) or a big chain. Yes- I’m aware of Golfdom in Virginia, but that’s an hour-plus drive for me.
Best Online Retailer: TGW. They carry big and tall sizes, and their reviews are from verified purchases. If they’d stop emailing me every goddamn day that would be nice, but in the main I can’t complain.
Worst Online Retailer: Too many to mention.
The Oblivious Award: To the two jackasses I played with at Laytonsville back in April who spent half their day on their cell phones or taking 3-4 practice swings on every shot. Either pick up the pace and take on practice swing or take up tennis. Hopefully my golf didn’t get in the way of you talking on the phone.
Best overall Experience Award: Despite rain, my round at Whiskey Creek was, for the most part, what I was hoping for. The course was in good shape, pace of play was good, and the staff was uniformly fantastic. I enjoyed Worthington Manor as well, but I’d have to shade it to Whiskey Creek.
Worst overall Experience: Laytonsville. It’s hard to believe that the same parent company that runs Northwest has this clunker, but it’s true. The marshal giving me the gears over pace of play (and not my playing partners), conditions that were lousy at best, and a round that took way too long? No thanks.
Places I’m in no rush to re-visit: Tied between Timbers at Troy (a complete shit show- I had one visit there to renew my handicap and it was a 45-minute ordeal) and Waverly Woods (the public track that thinks it’s a private course replete with the attitude). Their collective policy towards single golfers is the equivalent of an extended middle finger. I can be treatedly warmly by Worthington Manor and Whiskey Creek (and countless other tracks), and I will spend my dollars accordingly. My experience at Waverly Woods from 3 years ago was not exactly welcoming. A great layout and conditions are nice, but treating people like you’re doing them a favour in letting them play is not how you build a business.
Best new purchase: The Titleist AP1 irons I bought this past February have been a welcome addition in the bag.
Worst new purchase: The Titleist Golf Bag I bought. I love everything about it except for one thing- THE STRAP IN IN THE BACK OF THE BAG WHICH MAKES CARRYING IT A NIGHTMARE. A suggestion- put buckles in both sides so that the main strap can get moved. Otherwise…it’s a great bag.
The Why is This a Thing Award: Courses that feel the need to have US Open level rough. It kills pace of play when you’re spending forever looking for a lost ball. Cut the damn rough.
Holes that need to be blown up: Tie between Redgate #16 and Hampshire Greens #2. Two holes that are set up to destroy pace of play. Stop with the “signature hole” bullshit. Redgate punishes a fantastic drive and encourages a layup to a brutal third shot. Hampshire Greens #2 starts innocently enough but makes the second shot brutally hard with invisible hazards. This doesn’t challenge the average player- it punishes them. Even having red or yellow stakes that are visible would help you see where you can and can’t go.
Hard hole that does what it should: Falls Road #12. Straight shot that favors the right side to an uphill green. Anything left is dead. I’ve never scored well on it, but it’s fairly simple and doesn’t try to trick the player.
In Memoriam (cue the sad music): Montgomery Village Country Club, my old Ping G2 irons, the Dick’s Sporting Goods PGA Professionals, the LPGA International Crown at Caves Valley (moved out for 2015 and probably won’t return to the area), and any professional Golf (PGA Tour, Web.com, LPGA) in Maryland in 2015.
With the cold snap, recurring ankle pain, a game that went from great to garbage fire, and a lack of free time, I’ve had to throw in the towel on my 2014 golf season. Barring a lottery win (and a move to a tropical climate) or a warm spell allowing me to get some badly-needed range time in, I won’t pick up a club until after the new year.
I had a good start to the year, playing my usual game…looking back, it was that July 4th weekend round at Redgate where it all came undone. A soul-crushing 100 where I didn’t hit a single fairway or make a single par…it got into my head and I began to doubt my ability; after that I didn’t have a single round without multiple blow-up holes.
I’ve never been a great putter, but even my putting let me down. I switched from my Odyssey back to my Scotty Cameron…didn’t really help all that much. I even contemplated going to my old Billy Baroo…but even he was saying “you’re screwed” so that was off.
I finished the year with a 10.2 index and played 25 rounds (I have yet to post one score). My goal was 30 rounds which was very doable until September hit; my ankle was bothering me quite a bit, and I began feeling fatigued which I’m still dealing with to some level. I started the year at an 8.6 but a few early rounds put me in the 9.0 range until mid-July when the slew of bad rounds bumped me up into double digits.
On a positive, one of my former colleagues I play with on occasion keeps improving; if we continue on our trajectories he’s going to be giving me strokes by the end of next year.
Right now my goal is to get back to the gym, build some fitness and strength and hopefully get 2015 off and flying.
I’ll still update the blog (I have several entries I need to publish).
I’ll have an end-of-year look at the Pro Tours up by the end of the month, including my own special awards…the SGICies.
Last Saturday’s round at Northwest was a complete gong show…I got sideways and simply couldn’t put two decent shots together.
While it matters not…if courses want to improve pace of play (and I’m talking public tracks), let’s try to cut that rough down. Northwest had US Open rough (thick, deep, and nearly impossible to get the ball out of…not to mention finding your damn ball was like trying to find a needle in a haystack). Yes- we’ve had fantastic conditions but that doesn’t mean you need to “test” your weekend regulars by making them hit out of cabbage.
While I’ll probably get out a few more times this year, work picks up dramatically in the fall, and too often I leave the office exhausted on Friday night, and the idea of waking up at sunup doesn’t have that appeal. Plus there’s other obligations (SWIRIC among them), and the reality that anything after about mid/late October is into what I call the bonus fries (if you’ve ever gotten a fast food meal…you know how sometimes you get extra fries…those are called bonus fries) portion of the season.
Plus, come October the NHL season kicks into gear. I’m a Leafs fan and will be one until I’m dead so I may throw out the occasional Leafs-centric post. SWIRIC is a Capitals fan so we have the 3-4 nights a year of being a house divided. If you’re a Capitals fan I highly recommend the SB nation site Japers Rink. If you’re a Leafs fan, their SB Nation site Pension Plan Puppets is an absolute must read. Since the Leafs are why Paxil exists there’s only so much emotional wreckage I can spill.
I’d like to say I’m interested in this week’s Tour Championship, but after seeing Mickelson and Bradley pull the chute (I wasn’t a fan of either move…less Bradley as his involved a rules issue…but Mickelson has zero excuse for WD’ing and if Finchem isn’t going to do something, then you’re simply letting the inmates run the asylum) it took the shine off.
Glad to see Tom Watson take my advice about the Ryder Cup picks. I’ll point out that stroke play and match play are two entirely different games.
After turning my hat around, untying and re-tying my shoelaces three times, and deciding to stop sending chili peppers up Johnny Miller’s ass, I got back to my usual level of mediocrity yesterday, carding a gentleman’s 82 (with a 4-putt) at Little Bennett (pro tip- the green on #9 has a slope that parallels intermediate ski resorts so if your ball is on the green and it’s above the hole…you’re screwed).
Maybe being sick the last week and a half helped me get rid of the demons (I got rid of everything else, or so it seemed).
The bigger aid was to move up. My two gong show rounds were from the black tees at Redgate and the blues at Northwest. If I’m being honest with myself, that’s probably a bit too much for me (it’s the difference between hitting a hybrid or a 4-iron to the green or hitting a middle/short iron). While discussing the state of affairs, I think the PGA has it right with the “tee it forward” and here’s why- if you play and go out and have a great round with multiple birdies (and if you’re the wagering type, maybe you won your bet with your buddies), are you really going to beat yourself up afterward with “well, I only played the middle set of tees?”
Didn’t think so. You still had to sink the putt (or chip in) for the birdie, and being someone who openly jokes that I can 3-putt from anywhere (I joke mostly because drinking myself into a drunken stupor and crying uncontrollably would probably unnerve most people)…I can say that making that 12-footer can be the hardest part.
Speaking of putting, the LPGA International Crown has been riveting stuff (I would argue that the LPGA is a lot more fun to watch currently than the PGA Tour), but for the love of everything good…the pace of play is beyond horrendous. The playoff between Korea the USA was tremendous, and if they had been able to complete shots in under 3 minutes it would have been even better. The Ryder Cup, I fear, will be more of the same of glacial pace of play. Let’s keep it moving along, folks.
Welcome to the first in a series of articles about the hidden people in golf. Later versions will cover other people who are vital to the game yet often ignored.
I spoke to Jennifer (not her real name). She works 4 days a week part time driving the beverage cart at a course that gets heavy use from both locals and people from out of town. Jennifer (not her real name), in exchange for total anonymity (the picture above is not her) and a healthy tip on a Gatorade, gave me 20 minutes of her time to tell me the truth about her job, warts and all.
Jennifer has been doing this job for just over 2 years and does it while she attends college. She likes the job because she’s outdoors, and doesn’t have to work nights (she made a point about a lot of her friends spending money they don’t have going shopping during the day and being on the course keeps her out of that temptation and helps her earn money).
Q: How do you like the job?
A: It’s pretty good I guess; the course is owned by (name of course owner redacted) so I get pretty decent benefits…better than I would get working retail or in a restaurant and I keep my evenings free. I usually get at least one weekend day (tips are better) per week.
Q: Did you have any experience in golf?
A: Not really. I mean, my uncle plays a lot of golf. One of my friends in college heard that (name of course) was hiring; at time I wasn’t working and needed money so I applied. Honestly I don’t really see the appeal- you guys always look frustrated when you’re playing!
Q: Any desire to take up the game (note- Jennifer would be considered a Millenial by age standards)?
A: No; I mean…I hear that people are always doing business while playing but right now my free time is limited.
Q: Who are your best customers?
A: Couples (we get a lot of husbands/wives, boyfriends/girlfriends)- guys aren’t going to act up in front of their girlfriend or wife and they typically know how to tip. Locals are good tippers. A foursome of middle-aged guys are probably going to tip well.
Q: I have to ask, but who are your worst customers?
A: Older women and a lot of foreign players- a lot of women groups resent me and will ask me why I’m doing this- I have no desire to steal your boyfriend or husband. If I’m being polite and smiling it’s to hopefully earn more tips. I don’t really know why but foreigners don’t tip much if at all; like, if they order beers and it comes to $19.50 they’ll hand me a $20 bill and some will expect change.
Q: What about guys hitting on you?
A: I was told on my first day that it happens and you need to be polite but firm. Our boss has told us we should report any harassment; mostly it’s just guys being guys. Luckily it’s not cheap to play here which keeps out a lot of younger guys. It happens quite a bit which doesn’t make any sense. The last thing I want to do after work is hang around here or with the customers. I want to spend time with my friends and my boyfriend (she shows me a picture of her boyfriend…with a staunch record of heterosexuality describing him as attractive would be accurate). If you’re old enough to be my dad and you’re hitting on me…yuck.
Q: Any odd or unusual requests?
A: At least once a day I’ll get asked to give them tips on how to play better (the head pro gave me a couple that I can tell the golfers about). I get asked to give a neck massage on occasion. I get asked to help find a lost ball all the time…I can’t help you.
Q: Let’s talk about tipping…what are the expectations?
A: We’re trained that a tip is just that…but the way I look at it is this- our course has a snack bar between the 9th and 10th holes where you can get something. Or, you have the convenience of me driving up to you? That convenience comes with a price. Amounts? At least a dollar per beverage, or at least 25-30% of the total.
Q: Do you sell more beer or more soda/gatorade?
A: Depends. Typically we sell soda and coffee in the mornings and beer and gatorade in the afternoon, but you’ll get a morning group that wants beer on occasion. We have airplane liquor bottles which do very well.
Q: What else would you want golfers to know?
A: The pro shop and the marshal is always pushing us to be quick because they don’t want to slow golfers down. So have an idea of what you want…if you’re spending several minutes and you can’t decide what you want, it slows everyone else down. Have your money ready! Typically we don’t have a credit card machine (some courses do have them equipped) so you have to pay by cash. If you know what you want trust me- I know how to get it quickly and let you get on with your round. Everyone at the course wants you to have a great time so you’ll come back.
Played Redgate yesterday (7/5) and threw up one of the worst rounds I’ve played in recent memory. Only some luck (and it was luck) with the putter kept it from being worse because from tee to green I was abysmal (that’s being far too polite- it was worse than that).
The fairways were a mixed bag (the ones that were cut looked good), the tee boxes were equally inconsistent (some looked really good, some were chewed up, and holes 12 and 16 were their usual hard-pan dirt). Greens weren’t much better (some were cut, others weren’t, #11 is marginally better than it normally is), and more frustratingly pockmarked with divots (and I’m talking each green had multiple divots on them). Look- I get it…it’s a public course so you’re not going to get country club level quality. This has nothing to do with this- it has everything to do with people fixing their divots.
Billy Casper Golf is now managing the course (the city of Rockville still owns it- this explains the deal (as I’ve said repeatedly I don’t live in Rockville or Montgomery County so I don’t care one way or another as it’s not my dime).
The other issue that came up yesterday…smoking. I used to smoke, and in the last month I’ve played with non-smokers, a guy using an e-cigarette, and the guy I got paired up with who smoked several mini-cigars. Golf Digest recently addressed smoking pot recently. I’m ambivalent about it, but common courtesy says to just ask “mind if I light up?” So I’m asking…what’s your feeling about it? I played at Torrey Pines a couple years ago with guys who were smoking pot on the back 9 (they were kind enough to offer me a hit- to paraphrase another golfer “I didn’t inhale”)…great guys who played fast (so the idea that it kills pace of play didn’t hold true).
Do you care if someone fires up a cigarette, mini-cigar, joint, or phallus-sized cigar?
No photos…this is a SFW site and frankly, I’d like to keep it that way.
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